It's been a while since I wrote about Malaysian politics - or. for that matter, politics anywhere.
Day in, day out, the same old dead-boring programs keep repeating - generation after generation, century after century, millennium after millennium - at least, within the narrow confines of the holographic sound-stage most humans consider "the real world" - the world where grim-faced gray-haired men in dark suits and red ties emerge from sleek black limos to attend interminable conferences, while gnomish international bankers gleefully sponsor their sybaritic revels at Bohemian Grove.
The majority of established journalists believe this to be "the real world" - the "grown-up" world of economic necessity and political expediency. They get paid well to report knowledgeably about this paved-over Dead Zone where no fresh outlooks or reality options can grow. Well, folks, I've had enough of this benighted charade.
The way I see it, with all the data freely available online, ignorance must now be regarded as purely optional. Many choose to remain ignorant - or zoom in on only what interests them to the exclusion of everything else. I've come to realize that adults with attention spans greater than that of a 9-year-old are a distinct minority. The power hierarchy capitalizes heavily on this factor to maintain the corrupt and diseased status quo.
Meanwhile, I'm also becoming aware that I'm either suffering from writer's block - or going through a period when I find myself with little left to say that hasn't been said before by myself or other aspects of myself. I'm glad to observe that many have picked up the baton and are going all out to help remove that moral tumor named BN from our body politic.
I'm with you all the way, folks. Ini kali lah, this time we'll make it happen.
Over the months, my readers have noticed that my Fart Chamber has been conspicuously without any inmates. Fact is, there are so many I could have interned but that would have taken away the exclusivity of this abode. No there is nothing wrong with the donors…. they are the old faithful, ever willing to contribute to a just cause. The Board of Directors wants to maintain this Alcatraz, exclusively for repeat-felons and for those who do not understand justice.
And over those months, several high-profile candidates have been put forward. I would have loved to oblige my readers, but being a Chairman of the Chamber, with no veto rights, I uphold consensus.
However this afternoon the Board convened and we unanimously have a candidate. But the Board instructed me to really explain to this candidate the full implications and after-effects of this exclusive incarceration. They also instructed me that the candidate must go for a full medical because we do not want the candidate to give up the ghost in our hallowed chamber.Exorcism is a dying art and is terribly expensive. I was also specifically to tell the candidate that his/her stay in chambers is an international request which we do not want to refuse.
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN
This is a humane gesture to prepare you for what you have to go through. We hope you can cope, after this briefing. .We don’t wan Pewaris to organize a debate on the legality of this Chamber. Please take time to digest to the best of your ability the contents below which I will produce unexpurgated from Wikipedia:
COMPOSITION OF A FART
Nitrogen, the main constituent of air, is the primary gas released during flatulence, along with carbon dioxide which is present in higher quantities in those who drink carbonated beverages regularly. The lesser component gases methane and hydrogen are flammable, and so flatus containing adequate amounts of these can be ignited. However, not all humans produce flatus that contains methane. For example, in one study of the faeces of nine adults, only five of the samples contained archaea capable of producing methane.[1] Similar results are found in samples of gas obtained from within the rectum.
( I would pause here to let you digest the above. I did mention about the donors of the chamber…..those colossal derrieres you see along the wall. They were specially selected because these can FART AT WILL! This of course is a special feature of this Chamber, and I will have you know that we have had international requests for the use of this Chamber)
Historical comment on the ability to fart at will is observed in St. Augustine's The City of God. Augustine, not otherwise noted for his levity, mentions men who "have such command of their bowels, that they can break wind continuously at will, so as to produce the effect of singing." That mankind in general has lost this ability he attributes to the first sin of Adam and Eve and its consequences with respect to body control.[20]
Le Pétomane "The Fartiste" a famous French performer in the 19th century, as well as many professional farters before him, did flatulence impressions and held shows. The performer Mr. Methane carries on Le Pétomane's tradition today.
But we always try to avoid this bit:
Fart lighting, (also called fart-burning, blue-darting, blue flame, blue angel, flatus ignition, and pyroflatulence) is the practice of setting fire to the gases produced by human flatulence, often producing a blue hue.
Although there is little scientific discourse on the combustive properties of flatus, there are many anecdotal accounts of flatus ignition and the activity has increasingly found its way into popular culture with references in comic routines, movies, and television; including cartoons.
SO IN YOU GO YOU
PIECE OF sHEEt!
and your "key chain" won' help'
Your pepper spray sprayed into your nasal cavity
might be a good detox.
Today, 20 April, is Teoh Beng Hock's birthday and if he were alive today, he would be happily celebrating his 34th birthday with his wife and 3 year old son, Teoh Er Jia. But his life was rudely and violently snatched away from him under dark and suspicious circumstances. We need to know the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth. [Source: Malaysia For All]
Lim Kit Siang with Beng Hock's baby
Today also happens to be Nomination Day for Malaysia's 13th general election. On 5 May 2013, voters will decide who they wish to form the next government - which we pray will be the People's Government. The results of GE13 will be known after midnight, that is 6 May 2013 - which, incidentally, marks the day Altantuya Shaariibuu was born. Isn't it ironic that the fate of those responsible for the murders of Teoh Beng Hock and Altantuya Shaariibuu will be decided between these two birthdays?
Bruce Lee in 'Justice for Teoh Beng Hock!'
Brilliantly edited and scripted series from Nasi Lemak Productions. A big bravo to those involved in this excellent project. Time to wake up and reclaim your beloved land from cruel, arrogant, greedy, dishonest, incompetent, braindead and heartless tyrants!
I don't particularly like attending weddings and funerals, even though I appreciate that these are significant rites of passage for most humans. All non-human life-forms generally mate and expire without undue ceremony - and I prefer to align myself with non-human life-forms, simply because I don't detect too much hypocrisy and pretense among them.
Some wedding invitations I cannot refuse, for various reasons - and there are times when one is compelled to formally send off a beloved friend or relative on his or her further adventures. Well, one of the rare weddings I did attend last October was when my dear friend Fi-Sha married Rafizi Ramli.
I had met Fi-Sha during the Hulu Selangor by-election in April 2010 when she came to KKB to observe the proceedings. It was an instant soul connection between us. I found her beautiful and honest beyond words and completely uncontaminated in essence. We chatted often via email, SMS and facebook, and enjoyed a long chat over tea after an evening at the theatre. Her openness, empathy and vulnerability were not only endearing but made me feel very protective towards her. So when she announced that she was engaged, I felt compelled to run a check on her future mate.
PKR director of strategy Rafizi Ramli
One look at Rafizi Ramli's face was all it took to convince me that theirs was destined to be a very auspicious union - one that would ultimately influence the future of Malaysia in a truly positive way. My instincts were confirmed when I finally met Rafizi Ramli on his wedding day and congratulated him on his exquisite taste in women. I also met members of both families and found them perfectly charming and befriendable - the sort of authentic, uncorrupted Malaysians with core values intact who would do their country proud simply by being themselves.
Fi-Sha and Fizi (as she calls him) looked absolutely resplendent at the wedding reception - a very homely and modest affair attended by close friends and family. I whispered to Fi-Sha: "Now you're in for it. One of these days your hubby will be a key figure in the new government, and you'll have your work cut out keeping him grounded, sane and on track."
Disgraced Wanita Umno Chief Shahrizat Abdul Jalil
It didn't take long for Rafizi Ramli to hit the headlines. His spectacular exposé of the grotesque and almost comical RM250 million National Feedlot Corporation fiasco involving Wanita Umno chief Shahrizat Abdul Jalil and her immediate family gripped the attention of the entire country - and Rafizi's calm and lucid revelations presented over a series of well-attended media conferences lent his shocking accusations irrefutable credibility.
Malaysians have almost become unshockable when it comes to political scandals. What gave an incisive edge to Rafizi's investigation into the NFC scam was the thoroughness and detail of his probe. Of course, a whistleblower or two was involved - otherwise it would have been well-nigh impossible to produce incontrovertible documentary evidence of such shameless financial wrongdoing.
In the following weeks and months it appeared that Rafizi Ramli was on a roll and rapidly warming to his new-found role as Umno's can (of worms) opener. Even as BN was forced to make a big show of arresting and charging Shahrizat's husband Mohamad Salleh Ismail with multiple counts of CBT and misappropriation of funds, Rafizi launched a full-frontal assault on the biggest target of all - crime minister Najib Razak himself who, doubling as finance minister, was shown to have personally manipulated the outcome of an "open tender" exercise in favor of a golfing crony's bid.
Needless to say, BN's knee-jerk reaction was to order Rafizi Ramli arrested on a spurious charge of breaking some banking secrecy law. This is akin to arresting a kid for unlawfully peeping through a keyhole (and infringing on some minister's privacy) when he reports a brutal murder in the bedroom. In this instance, a murder was committed, for sure - the cold-blooded murder of the public's confidence in the BN regime.
Umno crime minister & finance minister(!) Najib Abdul Razak
By heavy-handedly tampering with routine administrative procedures to ensure that public projects are competently, effiiciently, cost-effectively and - most importantly, safely - implemented, Najib Razak and his cohorts in crime are not only committing massive fraud, they are also endangering the lives of commuters by allowing a dishonest and inexperienced operator to engineer and construct a railway extension at grotesquely inflated cost.
Almost overnight, Rafizi Ramli has joined the ranks of the most electable young candidates in Malaysian politics. My heartiest congratulations and thanks, Fizi!
Just hours before the Home Ministry is scheduled to release its version of Bersih 3.0 rally footage, the DAP has launched its videoon the April 28 street protest in Kuala Lumpur.
Focusing on police brutality, the 15-minute edited video, entitled Bersih 3.0 Semangat Bersih, Harapan Negara (Bersih 3.0 Clean Spirit, Hope of the Nation), has Malay subtitles and a narrative.
National publicity secretary Tony Pua, who screened the video at a press conference at DAP headquarters this morning, said the footage proves that the rally was a peaceful and joyous one until the police got involved.
“There was no reason why the police should have acted in such an aggressive fashion against unarmed Malaysians,” he said.
The video, Pua said, also exposes the prime minister’s “clear-cut discrepancy and hypocrisy” on the rally for clean and fair elections.
National publicity secretary Tony Pua, who screened the video at a press conference at DAP headquarters this morning, said the footage proves that the rally was a peaceful and joyous one until the police got involved.