Anybody keen to possess a "slightly used" fart chamber with original owner's famous fingerprints well preserved?

Antares, Mary Maguire & Bernard Khoo @ Zorro getting ready 
to protest the Peaceful Assembly Act 2012 (photo: Rodi Tahir)

As advertised here .....

MONDAY, MAY 11, 2009

2009's 2ND QUARTER FIRST TENANT.....

Over the months, my readers have noticed that my Fart Chamber has been conspicuously without any inmates. Fact is, there are so many I could have interned but that would have taken away the exclusivity of this abode. No there is nothing wrong with the donors…. they are the old faithful, ever willing to contribute to a just cause. The Board of Directors wants to maintain this Alcatraz, exclusively for repeat-felons and for those who do not understand justice.

And over those months, several high-profile candidates have been put forward. I would have loved to oblige my readers, but being a Chairman of the Chamber, with no veto rights, I uphold consensus.

However this afternoon the Board convened and we unanimously have a candidate. But the Board instructed me to really explain to this candidate the full implications and after-effects of this exclusive incarceration. They also instructed me that the candidate must go for a full medical because we do not want the candidate to give up the ghost in our hallowed chamber.Exorcism is a dying art and is terribly expensive. I was also specifically to tell the candidate that his/her stay in chambers is an international request which we do not want to refuse.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

This is a humane gesture to prepare you for what you have to go through. We hope you can cope, after this briefing. .We don’t wan Pewaris to organize a debate on the legality of this Chamber. Please take time to digest to the best of your ability the contents below which I will produce unexpurgated from Wikipedia:

COMPOSITION OF A FART

Nitrogen, the main constituent of air, is the primary gas released during flatulence, along with carbon dioxide which is present in higher quantities in those who drink carbonated beverages regularly. The lesser component gases methane and hydrogen are flammable, and so flatus containing adequate amounts of these can be ignited. However, not all humans produce flatus that contains methane. For example, in one study of the faeces of nine adults, only five of the samples contained archaea capable of producing methane.^[1] Similar results are found in samples of gas obtained from within the rectum.

The gas released during a flatus event frequently has an unpleasant odor which mainly results from low molecular weight fatty acids such as butyric acid (rancid butter smell) and reduced sulphur compounds such as hydrogen sulphide (rotten egg smell) and carbonyl sulphide that are the result of protein breakdown. The incidence of odoriferous compounds in flatulence emissions increases from herbivores, such as cattle, through omnivores to carnivorous species, such as cats.^{[citation needed]} Such odor can also be caused by the presence of large numbers of microflora bacteria and/or the presence of faeces in the rectum.

The major components of the flatus, which are odorless, by percentage are:^[2]

• Nitrogen - 20% - 90%
• Hydrogen - 0% - 50%
• Carbon Dioxide - 10% - 30%
• Oxygen - 0% - 10%
• Methane - 0% - 10%

( I would pause here to let you digest the above. I did mention about the donors of the chamber…..those colossal derrieres you see along the wall. They were specially selected because these can FART AT WILL! This of course is a special feature of this Chamber, and I will have you know that we have had international requests for the use of this Chamber)

Farting at will

Main article: Professional farter

Historical comment on the ability to fart at will is observed in St. Augustine's The City of God. Augustine, not otherwise noted for his levity, mentions men who "have such command of their bowels, that they can break wind continuously at will, so as to produce the effect of singing." That mankind in general has lost this ability he attributes to the first sin of Adam and Eve and its consequences with respect to body control.^[20]

Le Pétomane "The Fartiste" a famous French performer in the 19th century, as well as many professional farters before him, did flatulence impressions and held shows. The performer Mr. Methane carries on Le Pétomane's tradition today.

But we always try to avoid this bit:

Fart lighting, (also called fart-burning, blue-darting, blue flame, blue angel, flatus ignition, and pyroflatulence) is the practice of setting fire to the gases produced by human flatulence, often producing a blue hue.

Although there is little scientific discourse on the combustive properties of flatus, there are many anecdotal accounts of flatus ignition and the activity has increasingly found its way into popular culture with references in comic routines, movies, and television; including cartoons.

SO IN YOU GO YOU 

PIECE OF sHEEt! 

and your "key chain" won' help'
Your pepper spray sprayed into your nasal cavity
might be a good detox. 

A remarkable monument to Nelson Mandela by Marco Cianfanelli...

Fifty rods of steel, symbolizing prison bars... 

... so people will never forget the years Nelson Mandela was imprisoned. 

 The remarkable thing about this artwork is that...

... it is only when you stand at a certain distance that you see him.

South African artist Marco Cianfanelli has designed and constructed a monument to commemorate the 50-year anniversary of peace activist, statesman, and Nobel Peace Prize winner Nelson Mandela’s arrest by the apartheid police in 1962.  The sculpture comprises 50 steel columns measuring 21.32 and 29.52 feet (6.5 and 9 meters) high, each anchored to the concrete-covered ground. The shape and form of the sculpture are representative of the leader’s 27 years behind bars for his efforts to bring equal rights and governmental representation to the once racially divided nation. 

The monumental sculpture is located in Howick, 56 miles (90 kilometers) south of Durban. For more images, go here.

[Courtesy of Olivia de Haulleville]

Nurul Izzah takes on the rabid racists

A new script for Malaysia
Free Malaysia Today | Tue, 24 Aug 2010 06:00

By Nurul Izzah Anwar

A Malay daily recently declared that a civil war would break out in the country. And this war would dwarf the May 13 1969 racial riot – the worst in Malaysia’s history. The war, said the newspaper, is a response to a non-existing amended constitution that abolishes the special position of the Malays and Islam.

Deputy Prime Minister Muhyiddin Yassin also made reference to the 1969 riot in his comment when he reminded his Barisan Nasional (BN) colleague, Dr Chua Soi Lek, to tone down his demands to scrap what the government likes to call the pro-Malay economic policy.

In Penang, we heard stories that the name of the Yang di-Pertuan Agong has been replaced with Penang Chief Minister Lim Guan Eng in Friday sermons in some mosques in the state.

Apart from some Umno leaders who are fond of making racist comments, we also now have Perkasa which claimed to champion the constitutional position of the Malays.

These stories have been reported at length and front-paged by many newspapers, inviting discussions from both sides of the political divide.

These stories are not new. Many of us have heard similar stories not too long ago.

Remember in 1987 when Umno organised a racially charged political rally? It was followed by detention of many opposition leaders, including Karpal Singh and Guan Eng, under Operasi Lalang.

I wonder what the people behind the recent racial provocations hope to achieve.

Political theatre

I was too young to remember Operasi Lalang, but from my understanding of the event, it sounds so similar to the political theatre we are watching right now.

Every now and then, Malaysians are forced to watch the show based on an outdated script, written perhaps by those in power who benefit from racial polarisation.

Except for the change in the cast, the script always revolves around racial hatred, and how one community is a threat to another community’s interest.

Thank God, this latest show has not resulted in a new racial riot, or the “great war” that the Malay daily was trying to instigate.

Obviously, this tactic has not worked with Malaysians. Young Malaysians now demand a new script for the nation to be written by them.

In saying that the latest attempt at disuniting the country has failed, I am not entirely dismissing the fact that the racial rhetoric might have attracted some groups of young Malaysians.

Reading reports on Perkasa activities, I noticed the presence of a small number of young Malays. These are the people that I wish to reach out and to join other young Malaysians to write a new script for the nation.

Real issues

Perkasa has been accused of only trying to defend rent-seeking activities, but I doubt these youths are awarded any government contract. My suspicion is they have been indoctrinated with years of racist propaganda.

They are not alone. I have heard of civil servants and even teachers who made racist remarks while on the job.

For them, this country is all about “us” versus “them”, “oppression by certain group” or “risk of losing political power.”

But I have not given up on them.

I want to tell them that it is not hard to look beyond the colour of our skin, to understand that diversity has always been the foundation of this country.

I would like for all of us to focus on the real issues that will destroy this country: such as corruption, low foreign investment, lack of job opportunities and many other problems shared by all Malaysians.

It would not be easy to make them understand, but the success of the new script for Malaysia’s future depends on not just one group but also others who have been misled and marginalised. That is why all Malaysians must speak out and decide once and for all what the new script would be. A script built on the promise and vision of an independent Malaysia for all citizens: based on the rule of law, justice and equality.

Those who deny the will of the people for a better Malaysia should take note. Malaysians recognise theatre as it is, and the days of political theatre are over.

Nurul Izzah Anwar is PKR's MP for Lembah Pantai.