Hasan Ali's Favorite Cowboy Story

A very successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.

She was a very good-looking woman, and determined to keep the ranch but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You've done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night. One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. He returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the house he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. "Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. "Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. "Now," she said, "take off my panties." By the light of the fire, he slowly pulled them down and off.

Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."

[Forwarded by a friend]

Why would The Vatican threaten legal action against this ad?

Isn't it a sweet image? After nearly 15 centuries of animosity between Christians and Muslims - and between Muslims and Jews - wouldn't it be loverly if they would just kiss and make up?

United Colors of Benetton is a fashion house, I know, but you have to salute their pluck when it comes to attention-grabbing advertising. As long as they have been in business, they appear to have promoted peace, unity and harmony on this planet - if only to sell more fancy gear, perhaps, but what's the harm in that, ultimately?

Anyway, it's most unfortunate that UCB have been forced to take down the above ad from billboards and omit it from their magazine campaign. It says a lot about the cynical old men who run The Vatican. Firstly, they have no sense of humor; secondly, they don't really want peace, unity and harmony on earth; thirdly, their homophobia is only a pretense. I mean, I'm mostly hetero - so if you put up a photoshopped picture of me kissing some bearded guy, I might feel a bit grossed out, but in the end I'd just have to laugh out loud. Why would I bother sueing anybody - unless I'm actually a closet gay, and the image cuts too close to the bone?

This image of Palestian leader Mahmoud Abbas and Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu kissing
is definitely a lot more amusing than photos of wounded kids and people
buried under the rubble of their bombed houses.

Malaysian Institute of Advanced Sodomology

Faculty of the Malaysian Institute of Advanced Sodomology

L-R: Mahathir Mohamad (patron), Musa Hassan (proctor), Daim Zainuddin (purser), Naif Ton Rasa 

(vice-chancellor), Gani Patail (dean), Shafee Abdullah (professor emeritus)

GET OFF YOUR SMELLY BUTTS, PEOPLE! 
THIS IS THE CHANCE OF A LIFETIME TO WIN A FULL SCHOLARSHIP FROM THE CRIME MINISTER'S DEPARTMENT. ACHIEVE YOUR AMBITION TO BECOME A PROFESSIONAL ASSHOLE. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TESTIFY AGAINST A CERTAIN OPPOSITION LEADER...

Enrolment starts at 9:00AM, 8 July 2009
@ the Jalan Duta Court Complex


Please wait at the Rear Entrance
or contact recruitment officer Saiful Azlan Bukhari @ 012-2143177

For more details go here!