NATIONAL DICKHEAD DAY (REVISITED)

This is how I look right now, folks, after several weeks' immersion in nothing but dickhead news - all reeking of dead-rat Mamak politics (remember the horrid stench that hung over the nation for 22 years? Well, folks, I can smell it creeping in again, how about that? Guess nobody bothered removing that dead rat from under the floorboards...)

Is it too late? Have we gone past the point of no return? Are you happy now, all you status quoists who kept saying GE12 was really about giving Umno "a wake-up call" - not about removing the vermin completely from power? Well, vermin will be vermin and once they become the govermin, you'll never be completely free of them, since they're pretty good at jumping ship and switching sides.

As long as vile and pernicious politicians continue to promote the absolute nonsense that this land has always been called "Tanah Melayu" (the name "Malaya" actually derives from the Tamil word for mountain, malai; I kid you not, folks, and the Malay Archipelago actually means "archipelago formed from mountains")... as long as those who consider themselves Melayu first - before they consider themselves Manusia (human) - continue to fear dogs, pigs and sultans... we shall remain a failed nation ruled by dickheaded dictators.

BETTER KISS A THOUSAND MANGY DOGS THAN SHAKE NAJIB'S PUDGY HAND!

Are you still hoping to secure that 2-billion-ringgit contract from your political contacts? Well, turn your back on it - if you can! It's blood money and can only bring you and your posterity negative karma. You keep saying you'll stop buying their newspapers. Well, how come I still see The Star and NST on sale in the newsstands?

THE ACCURSED

I've been jotting down the names of The Accursed: all those who self-servingly prop up corrupt regimes for short-term gain. All those half-baked judges hell-bent on serving their own retirement plans rather than justice. All the opportunistic lawyers who do the bidding of their criminal paymasters; the pathologists and hospital directors and heads of medical associations whose public utterances have revealed them as institutional eunuchs. All the tainted police officers with criminal tendencies who lie out of every pore with total impunity... while their men continue to harass, torture and kill without so much as a rebuke. All those who continue to write speeches, design websites, churn out propaganda for the Crude, the Bad and the Ugly in power...

RANDOM SELECTION OF NATIONAL DICKHEADS. THE COMPLETE GALLERY WOULD FILL 1,000 BLOGPOSTS!

While I was wondering what I would do on National Dickhead Day (coming up in only three weeks), a friend forwarded a bunch of photos supposedly from an annual celebration of the phallus in Japan. We ought to take a cue from the Japenis and construct giant effigies of all our national dickheads - what we can do with them I leave to your imagination.


Here's a truly charming video all the way from Israel...

)
THE NATIONAL ERECTION (Tel Aviv, 11 June 2007)

[First posted 11 March 2009. Reposted 12 March 2014]

Global PR for Najib ~ and by PR I don't mean Pakatan Rakyat!

Malaysian government brings in PR firm, will need all the help it can get

Benjamin Bland | The Asia File | Saturday, August 15, 2009

The Malaysian government has appointed APCO, a global PR firm, to advise it on how to engage with the public and the media.

When I covered the stock market in London, the appointment of a new PR firm by a troubled company was usually the equivalent of the band on the Titanic striking up a new cheerful tune: they may be hoping to lighten the mood but ultimately the ship's still going down.

[Read the whole sordid story here.]

PSST! JUST HEARD A RUMOR THAT HIRING APCO IS GOING TO COST THE RAKYAT A COOL RM20 MILLION. CAN ANYONE CONFIRM THIS?

BN Cybertrooper Posting on Malaysiakini?

I couldn't resist responding to this patently spurious letter published on Malaysiakini today.


Chin Chai Ho? Is that a bona fide by-line, I wonder - or one of Azalina's legendary cybertroopers out on an anti-Anwar spin? Sorry, Chin Chai Ho. You'll have to do better than that. Your opinion piece looks like an opinion; it even reads like an opinion piece; but when I hold it against my nose, I smell styrofoam. And perhaps a whiff of cincalok.

Take this paragraph for example:

"Anwar Ibrahim and his associates in the DAP and PAS want the people to believe that the country is coming apart due to massive corruption and mismanagement by the Barisan Nasional government. Yes, there have been some corrupt practices by certain quarters in the government; no one condones them. One Zakaria of Klang does not make all the 500-odd state assembly persons in the country corrupted too. There are other cases of corruption but definitely the country is not riddled by these corrupted officials nor the country is coming apart. Our officials and civil servants are generally a dedicated and honest lot."

Hello, Mr Chin (Or is it Mr Ho?)! I've lived here since I was born a very long time ago and I don't need Anwar, Kit Siang or Nik Aziz to tell me BN has mismanaged my country for as long as I can remember. The only reason why I chose NOT to migrate is that I am a warrior at heart - and I decided 20 years ago I would grow a deep root here and live to see the demise of fear-and-greed driven politics and the passing of the Age of Corruption. We're almost there now... if not for the unfortunate fact that the BN still retains control of the federal government apparatus. Which means they can choose to maintain repressive laws and retain well-trained goons like Gani Patail, Musa Hassan and all the wet-bummed hacks running the mass media. Indeed, many of us don't need any convincing that BN actually LOST control of Malaysia on March 8th. If it hadn't been for the massive cheating and unfair advantages at BN's disposal, right now they would be crushed beyond recognition, blown to smithereens like some Mongolian Mata Hari.

In their hearts BN know they have no business forming the federal government anymore. But it's scary to find yourself suddenly vulnerable and liable to prosecution for gross abuse of power and misappropriation of public funds. Doesn't matter if you're already retired. As Param Cumaraswamy rightly says, "There is no expiry date on crime." That's why you would cling by your fingernails to the last vestiges of power and, with your last ounce of strength, try to push your political foes down the stairs or trip them as they walk by.

The day Anwar Ibrahim (or Wan Azizah) becomes PM, many in the BN will shit their pants and quite a few will do a Zakaria Mat Deros. Anwar returns from the political wilderness of his 6-year imprisonment like the ghost of Altantuya Shaariibuu or Jalil Ibrahim (the conscientious auditor who was murdered in Hong Kong while investigating the BMF scandal). To be publicly humiliated and privately beaten up, poisoned, and punished for being ambitious - and since when has ambition been a crime? It's no secret that Anwar was already in line to become PM, having been given the post of Finance Minister as well as Deputy Prime Minister. But Mahathir is one of those aberrated egos who cannot tolerate being overtaken on the road to immortal glory - he is the original source of road rage! Not that I believe the Pakatan Rakyat government will be vindictive. But just for them to do their job honestly and efficiently would be punishment enough for all the arrogant and greedy cacing that have had their heyday under the dacing.

Mr Ho Ho Ho says: "For goodness sake give us a break. Surely the people can see his true intention. All he wants is the prime minister-ship and the power that goes with it."

My friend, whoever you are, we all know that. Everybody knows that. Anwar Ibrahim would like to be the PM because he has been training his whole life for the job, since he was a kid, probably. I've watched him address the crowds at ceramahs. I've studied his every move and raised my cap in admiration of his stamina and strength-of-will. I know he wants to be PM and I would very much like to see him get the job. In fact many of us have been waiting since 1998 to see justice done and destiny fulfilled. And you know what quality Anwar Ibrahim has that makes me name him our best candidate for PM? Natural intelligence. That's one quality that has been conspicuously absent in politics for a very long while. And don't point at Mahathir and tell me he's even more intelligent. Mahathir is indeed cunning - but that does not equate with true intelligence or he would have apologized, shut up, and relocated to Mauritius years ago.

So what the dickens are you talking about? Chin Chai Cakap ah?