Still waiting to hear the Fat Lady sing

Altantuya Shaariibuu's bone fragments

Najib and the Murdered Mongolian
Asia Sentinel
Friday, 13 November 2009

The Malaysian murder case that won't die

A Malaysian private investigator in hiding for more than a year after recanting a sensational statement connecting now-Prime Minister Najib Tun Razak to the murder of a Mongolian translator, has surfaced to reaffirm his allegations and to say he had been offered a RM5 million (US$1.48 million) bribe to disappear by a businessman said to be connected to Najib's wife, Rosmah Mansor.

The attractive translator, Altantuya Shaariibuu, was murdered by two of Najib's elite bodyguards in October of 2006 in a particularly gruesome fashion. After she was shot twice in the head, her body was blown up with C4 military explosives. Any indication that she and two friends had entered Malaysia disappeared from the immigration department's records.

The statement by the private detective, P Balasubramaniam, in a YouTube video, appeared on Malaysia Today, the website run by blogger-in-exile Raja Petra Kamarudin, who promised far more startling episodes in the near future. As many as five segments, accounting for 20 minutes of revelations, remain to be aired, he said in an email to Asia Sentinel. The first segment can be found here.

Balasubramaniam said in his original statutory declaration that he had been hired by Abdul Razak Baginda, one of Najib's closest friends, to protect him from the wrath of Altantuya after he had jilted her. Razak Baginda was originally charged with the murder along with Najib's bodyguards but was acquitted without having to put on a defense.

In the 90-second video, Balasubramaniam said he had met with the businessman, Deepak Jaikishan, the director of a carpet firm, in a bak kut teh (pork rib soup) restaurant in the Rawang suburb where he lived, in which the businessman offered him the money. In an accompanying story in Malaysia Today, Raja Petra displayed photocopies of RM50,000 checks on Public Bank of Malaysia made out by Deepak Jaikishan. Although no indication was given of where Balasubramaniam is now, other sources say he may be in India. In the videotape, he was said to be in the company of three Malaysian lawyers.



Almost immediately on giving his original statement tying Najib to Altantuya in the company of his lawyer and opposition leader Anwar Ibrahim, the private investigator was taken to meet some well-connected individuals and offered RM5 million in exchange for his complicity. The next morning  Bala appeared briefly and sullenly at a hastily convened media conference where a lawyer read a statement saying P.I. Bala had been coerced into making his first statutory declaration by Anwar Ibrahim and others. Then Bala and his family disappeared. .

In his original statement, Balasubramaniam said he was making it because of his "disappointment at the standard of investigations conducted by the authorities into the circumstances surrounding the murder of Altantuya Shaariibuu." He wrote that he wanted the "relevant authorities to reopen their investigations into this case immediately so that any fresh evidence may be presented to the Court prior to submissions at the end of the prosecution's case."

RELATED STORIES:

The Confession that Never Was
Questions for Najib over a Missing Model
Altantuya's Killers Judged Guilty



Cherchez The French
Asia Sentinel
Wednesday, 18 November 2009

Who got what for the sale of French submarines to Malaysia?

On September 3, a 66-meter submarine named for Tunku Abdul Rahman, Malaysia's founding father, glided into the Royal Malaysian Navy base at Port Klang on Malaysia's western coast after a 54-day voyage from France. Malaysia's Prime Minister Najib Tun Razak (right) was there to greet them.

As defense minister, Najib had commissioned a huge military buildup to upgrade Malaysia's armed forces including the purchase of two Scorpene-class submarines and the lease of a third, a retired French Navy Agosta-class boat, for US$1 billion. The two submarines were designed by France's DCNS naval shipbuilder and built in partnership with Spain's Navantia. Both companies are state owned. The deal earned a commission of €114 million for a company owned by Najib's best friend, Abdul Razak Baginda, once the head of a Kuala Lumpur political thinktank.

The Tunku Abdul Rahman, along with its companion, to be named for Najib's father Tun Abdul Razak and to be delivered in 2010, is at the very heart of the continuing controversy over the death of Altantuya Shaariibuu, a 28-year-old Mongolian translator and Razak Baginda's jilted lover. Altantuya was murdered in October of 2006 by two bodyguards attached to Najib's office after Razak , who had jilted Altantuya, went to Najib's chief of staff, Musa Safri, for help in keeping the 28-year-old woman away from him. Not long after being acquitted under questionable circumstances of participating in her murder, he left the country for England.

Questions over the purchases go well beyond the death of a spurned paramour and point to some difficult subjects for French and Malaysian officials. These questions assume added relevancy in light of revelations last week that someone, allegedly close to the Prime Minister, was willing to pay RM5 million (US$1.48 million) to a private detective to forget his statement connecting Najib to Altantuya.


The continuing controversy makes it appropriate to ask to examine the defence minister's diaries, calendars and telephone logs and those of Razak Baginda in 2002, when the Royal Malaysian Navy ordered the vessels. In letters found after her death, Altantuya said she was attempting to blackmail Razak Baginda for as much as US$500,000, apparently, her father said, because of her role as translator over the purchase of the submarines. Malaysia ordered the two diesel-electric submarines from DCN SA (Direction des Constructions Navales ), a French manufacturer of warships and submarines and the largest naval shipyard in Europe, in 2002. However, Razak Baginda and Altantuya went to France at the same time Najib did in 2005 to settle details of the purchase.

Perimekar, a company owned by Abdul Razak Baginda, received the €114 million for “coordination and support services” – 11 percent of the sale price of the submarines. Zainal Abidin, then the deputy defense minister, told a parliamentary inquiry that such commissions were commonplace in Malaysia. No further inquiry was made as to the commission, nor was any attempt made to determine what coordination and support services Perimekar might be providing.

ONLY STRANGE MINDS CAN READ THIS...

Eonverye taht can raed tihs rsaie yuor hnad.

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

Fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rsereach pjecort at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.. Azanmig, huh?

Yaeh, and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

[Contributed by Carena Tan]

Towards a new epoch of Humane Economics

Text & Images from Malaysiakini

Anwar named Selangor economic adviser

Terence Netto
Nov 13, 2009
5:41pm


Anwar Ibrahim will get a chance to implement emerging new theories of economic development now that he's been appointed economic adviser to the Selangor state government.

The appointment was announced today by Selangor Menteri Besar Khalid Ibrahim in a bid to enlist a wider array of experience from within Pakatan Rakyat to boost its standing as pacesetter among Malaysian sates where economic development is concerned.

Khalid's administration was recently beset by internal dissension, with a couple of executive councillors opening feuding over matters ranging from the trivial to the important.

Anwar's presence in the state's inner councils would lend it prestige and have a diminishing effect on internal politicking.

Humane economic theories

In recent international forums, Anwar, the former Minister of Finance (1991-1998), has espoused a theory of humane economics which Nobel laureates Joseph Stiglitz and Amartya Sen have leaned towards as expressing a more holistic description of economic progress.

Until the current global financial crisis caused by subprime mortgages, rises in gross domestic product (GDP) were taken as sufficient indicators of economic progress, figures that Stiglitz and Sen now claim are only narrowly reflective of what analysts say ought to go into computing the Felcific Calculus: the levels of economic ease and social amenity that in combination reflect holistic human development.

While finance minister in the 1990s, Anwar presided over a period of strong economic growth, marked by surplus budgets, adequate spending on affordable housing, easy credit for small businesses, and stability in oil prices and toll rates.

Before becoming finance minister, Anwar held the portfolios of education, agriculture, youth, culture and sports, all of which sharpened his perceptual and analytical faculties for the winnowing of insight from experience.

Anwar's tenure as finance minister was marked by favourable international notices. The prestigious magazine Asia Money named him Finance Minister of the Year in 1996 and Newsweek International lauded him as Asian of the Year in 1998.

Anwar' stints as government minister gained him a wide array of international contacts first built up when he was leader of the Muslim Youth Movement of Malaysia, a base upon which he leveraged his national prominence to regional and world levels.

Climb up from a fall from grace

But it was not all prominence and glitter. With his sacking from government in 1998 and jailing for possibly trumped-up charges of corruption and sodomy, Anwar was accused of squirreling away RM3 billion in master accounts abroad.

The accusation deepened the depth of moral turpitude that his detractors claimed the once high-flying politician had fallen into.

So it was sweet vindication earlier this week when a former chief of the anti-corruption agency told a defamation trial in Kuala Lumpur that his agency's investigation of the charge in 1999 cleared Anwar of malfeasance.

It was rare vindication for a man against whom a slew of accusations was hurled the moment he fell from grace.

The strong anti-corruption stance of the former minister while in government had earned him the resentment of corporate and political conspirators seeking to amass wealth at the expense of good governance.

No doubt Anwar would be out to justify his reputation for financial accountability and transparency as economic adviser to the Selangor government that had marked his tenure as minister.

Cyberterrorist explosion rocks Putrajaya!

PI Bala surfaces to drop Bombshell 3

MISSING private investigator P. Balasubramaniam has broken his 15-month silence, claiming that Prime Minister Najib Razak’s younger brother, Nazim, met and threatened him into withdrawing his first statutory declaration.

Bala alleged that carpet businessman Deepak Jaikishan, an aide of the Prime Minister’s wife, Rosmah Mansor, instructed him to meet Nazim on the day he made public his statutory declaration.

He said the first statutory declaration in which he claimed that Najjib had a relationship with murdered Mongolian model Altantuya Shariibuu, a lover of the Prime Minister’s associate Abdul Razak Baginda, was true.

But he withdrew it and signed a second declaration after he was taken to see Nazim at the Curve in Damansara on July 3 2008 when he was told by the Prime Minister’s architect brother to “follow instructions if he loves his family.”

According to Bala, the specific instruction to him was to withdraw the July 3rd statutory declaration and leave Malaysia immediately.

Hours after that meeting, Bala signed a second statutory declaration which was prepared for him and later issued to the media.

He and his family were then taken by road to Singapore before being flown to Thailand and and Nepal and eventually to India, where he has been hiding since.

Bala gave the startling account of the alleged threats made by Nazim in a tell-all interview done overseas which concluded with him saying: “As a family man, I want to have a normal life. I want to put a stop to all this. ”

FreeMalaysiaToday was provided with excerpts of the interview done in the presence of three lawyers including Bala’s.

In the hour long interview, Bala gave an account of money allegedly promised by Deepak, whose orders Nazim told him to follow.

He claimed Deepak offered him a RM4 to RM5 million deal to sign the second statutory declaration retracting his allegation against Najib, and to remain overseas until Najib was installed as Prime Minister.

In the course of their conversations, Bala said Deepak related to him how he came to know Rosmah and even offered to arrange a breakfast meeting with the Prime Minister’s wife.

“(Deepak said) I can come back to Malaysia after Najib become the PM. (Also) he will make arrangements to have breakfast with Rosmah (for her to ) thank me ,” for retracting the first SD, Bala added.

However, no breakfast meeting took place with Rosmah, and Bala said he never received the RM5 million sweetener promised to him.

Although Najib’s smooth ascension to power took place as scheduled in April this year, Bala saw little to suggest that he would be allowed to return to Malaysia to lead a normal life with his family.

Bala said Deepak gave him about RM750,000 in total to cover expenses for him and his family during their stay overseas. The money was mostly banked into his account with cheques issued by Carpet Raya Sdn Bhd, of which Deepak is a director.

Another revealation by Bala was his meeting with a Malaysian Police Special Branch team which tracked him to Bangkok in July last year.

Bala said the officer in charge of the Special Branch team, ASP Muniandy, asked him which of the two statutory declarations was true.

“I told him the first SD was the true SD. Then he just shook my hand and said, ‘You are really brave,’” Bala quoted Muniandy as saying.

He said the police team then proceeded to record a statement from him for nearly seven hours on the contents of the first statutory declaration and events leadings to the release of the document.

Given the circumstances of fear and continued harassment against him and his family, Bala indicated he wanted to start his life afresh overseas with his family rather than returning to Malaysia as long as Najib and his people were in power.

Efforts to contact Nazim and Deepak were unsuccessful.

[This story originally appeared in Free Malaysia Today as well as Malaysia Today but has reportedly "disappeared" just like Bala! However, nothing is ever "lost" in cyberspace and the post can still be found here and here.]

FLASHBACK TO 18 JULY 2008...



The Bar Council today expressed concern over the number of lawyers being called in for questioning in relation to missing private investigator P. Balasubramaniam.

"Crimes of avarice and ambition, committed by men of calculation..."

The greatest of all crimes are the wars that are carried on by governments, to plunder, enslave, and destroy mankind.
The next greatest crimes committed in the world are equally prompted by avarice and ambition; and are committed, not on sudden passion, but by men of calculation, who keep their heads cool and clear, and who have no thought whatever of going to prison for them.

They are committed, not so much by men who violate the laws, as by men who, either by themselves or by their instruments, make the laws; by men who have combined to usurp arbitrary power, and to maintain it by force and fraud, and whose purpose in usurping and maintaining it is by unjust and unequal legislation, to secure to themselves such advantages and monopolies as will enable them to control and extort the labor and properties of other men, and thus impoverish them, in order to minister to their own wealth and aggrandizement.

The robberies and wrongs thus committed by these men, in conformity with the laws, - that is, their own laws - are as mountains to molehills, compared with the crimes committed by all other criminals, in violation of the laws.

Lysander Spooner (January 19, 1808 – May 14, 1887) was an American individualist anarchist, entrepreneur, political philosopher, abolitionist, supporter of the labor movement, and legal theorist of the nineteenth century.

[NOTE: The term "spoonerism" was named after another Spooner - Rev. W.A. Spooner - not Lysander!]

GET ANWAR! REDUX AD RIDICULUM!

"The absolute truth is that Mahathir is an absolute liar." ~ Dr Munawar Anees

On 3 October 2000, ABC (Australia) broadcast this powerful documentary about the sordid political circumstances surrounding Anwar Ibrahim's trial in 1999. This footage was digitized, compressed and uploaded on YouTube on 26 December 2007 - just in time for Malaysia's epochal 12th General Election. I first viewed the documentary sometime in 2001 on a VHS copy somebody lent me; and about a year ago I viewed all seven parts on YouTube.


I think this is an extremely well-researched and competently produced documentary that deserves to be permanently archived as a reminder to all Malaysians of the terrible evils of dictatorial misrule, a corrupt judiciary, and a politically compromised police force. Ten years later, it appears that little has changed.... or is that just a delusion on the part of the Barisan Nasional regime?

ANWAR'S TRIAL (Part 1)


ANWAR'S TRIAL (PART 2)


ANWAR'S TRIAL (PART 3)


ANWAR'S TRIAL (PART 4)


ANWAR'S TRIAL (PART 5)


ANWAR'S TRIAL (PART 6)


ANWAR'S TRIAL (PART 7)


FOREIGN CORRESPONDENT (ABC Australia)
Malaysia - Trial of Anwar Ibrahim
Broadcast: 03/10/2000
Reporter: Evan Williams


[Compressed for webstreaming and uploaded by YouthMalaysian]

Jonathan Zap, Interdimensional Traveler

"Interdimensional Passport" ~ collage by Jonathan Zap (1990s)

Cosmic Orgasmologists: Alex Grey and Jonathan Zap

THE INTERDIMENSIONAL TRAVELER'S CODEX
by Jonathan Zap

At all costs, the interdimensional traveler must never surrender multi-incarnate identity and essence to the Babylon Matrix, or any other such matrix. Since so many readers are most familiar with the hideous strength of the Babylon Matrix, we will give it particular emphasis in this Codex.

From a thousand thousand angles, the dark magnetisms of the Babylon Matrix would love to pull travelers into the wrong ends of telescopes. Essentially, the Babylon Matrix has a tunneling effect that can easily shrink your incarnation until it is like a twisty wormhole burrowing into the festering tissues of a rotten apple. When you choose the wormhole over the rabbit hole your incarnation shrivels and descends like the slow intestinal twisting of an endless, monotonous colonoscopy, winding its way down the wrong end of a telescope.

The Babylon Matrix seeks to remake you in its own image. It would like to play you out as a tragicomic retread, the six billionth remake of Honey, I Shrunk the Interdimensional Traveler.

Teal People are funkier than Real People (photo: Jonathan Zap)

The Babylon Matrix churns out remakes by shrink-wrapping hominids into stock characters. It would love for you to be a frat boy, a homeboy, a drama queen, a geek, a couch potato, a yuppie, a workaholic, a celebrity, a celebrity stalker and so forth. Surrender to its shrinking rays and you might find yourself living out your incarnation as one of these diminutive caricatures, a skin job with a limited shelf life.

In the Eighties, in the early hours of a smoggy and overcast Monday morning on the Cross Bronx Expressway, I first saw what would become a ubiquitous bumper sticker. It read, “I owe, I owe, so off to work I go.” It was as if the veil had pulled back right there on the Cross Bronx Expressway, and something I wasn’t supposed to see, one of the underlying black magical spells, actual source code of the Babylon Matrix, suddenly became visible in the manifest realm.

"Parallel Journeys" ~ collage by Jonathan Zap

What potency such spells of darkling magic have! A spellbound victim, laboring under the power of malign enchantment, discovers the spell, the actual contract the devil made him sign in blood, and yet cannot break from it. There it is, the devil’s contract, turning slowly in the spinner rack of a convenience store, rendered word for word onto self-adhesive vinyl. The victim purchases this perfect copy of the spell that rules him and attaches it to the bumper of his car where he sees it every day, and yet he never awakens from its power.

"Interdimensional Traveler" - collage by Jonathan Zap

An interdimensional traveler must never surrender to such spells! These spells are swirling around us like sheets of self-adhesive shrink-wrap spun by a tornado. The tornado is a dark and smoky twister. Spinning within the twister are newspaper headlines, faces, fragments of video, sound bytes of neurotic conversations, glossy magazine torsos---a swirling shrapnel of sticky cultural memes. Lose your footing and the twister rips you out of Oz, out of agrarian Kansas, out of all the infinite places you could be, and shrinks you into an anxious meat puppet, stuck in traffic, worried about being late for the florescent-lit cubicle, unpaid bills and debts stinging like pale scorpions at your shrunken kernel-like mind animated by coffee with non-dairy creamer, kept afloat by serotonin specific reuptake inhibitors and propelled by spell-induced fears.

Is there an engine driving the twister that eludes us, adding invisibly to its torque and stickiness? The interdimensional traveler will at least keep that an open question. He knows that there are other worlds than these, and who can account for all the forces that interpenetrate the Babylon Matrix?

Certainly there is no ambiguity about the existence of the agents of the twister, the enforcers and minor black magicians of the Babylon Matrix. They are all around us, uttering their obvious and yet potent and insidious spells from school yards, televisions, street corners, classrooms, boardrooms and bedrooms, from the thousand thousand blind alleys of the Babylon Matrix.

Jonathan Zap earns his stripes as an intrepid explorer of ontological rabbit-holes

The interdimensional traveler must not step through the wrong ends of telescopes! The interdimensional traveler must not let anxious voices, inner or outer, hurry them down narrowing corridors. The interdimensional traveler must not step onto the conveyor belts of degrading and dreary timelines!

God as the Ultimate Narcissist (self-portrait by Jonathan Zap)

Some foolish interdimensional travelers will perceive these injunctions through the exciting, intoxicating and scintillating distortion fields of the archetype of the eternal youth. These archetype-possessed travelers will see the injunctions of what not to do as an infinite license to indulge, and though they emulate Peter Pan on steroids, they end up as flabby Peter Pans with kidney damage, divorcing the Babylon Matrix only to marry flaccid Never Never Lands where obese lost boys play video games in their mothers’ basements. The path of the interdimensional traveler is not a license to indulge, it is a space that opens when the imagination of the eternal youth and the impeccability of the Warrior meld. It is a path that demands prodigious will and discipline. If you try to follow the path of the interdimensional traveler without will and discipline, you will end up as a pathetic lost boy of some sort, sucking weakly at the soured edges of the Babylon Matrix, caught in a grey limbo where embittered contempt for the realm of shrink-wrapped, spell-driven drones melds with a parasitic dependence on the fruits of drone labor.

Mr Zap getting his crown chakra refurbished

Portals open for the traveler on a mission of compassion who is aligned with his true will. Different portals may open for a dark traveler possessed of and by a dark will. Still another set of portals open for the young fool traveler who may, for example, step through the wrong end of a kaleidoscope. Certain intentions beckon certain matrices, for better and for worse.

Interdimensional by Herban Mama

An interdimensional traveler must be a Warrior, must have a moral purpose, and must be aware of all the shrinking rays that press upon us. The price of freedom for the interdimensional traveler is eternal vigilance about the sticky enchantments that would like to bind us to the Babylon Matrix and turn individualized travelers into hordes of automatons and hungry ghosts. To step across the event horizon you need to molt the many layers of malign enchantment encasing your soul.

Go then, there are other worlds than these...

[GET COMPLETELY ZAPPED @ ZAPORACLE!]

Interesting read: Zapped by the Blogospheric Multilinkverse

"Mum... dad... I wanna join the MACC!"

This ticket stub carries some pleasurable memories for me. That's why I have immortalized it here on my blog. I first stumbled on the intriguing poster below on Patrick Teoh's Niamah blog...

What phenomenal inspiration, I thought, to present three stand-up comedians - all Chinese, of course - as the Malaysian Association of Chinese Comedians. I was determined to catch the show, even visited TicketCharge to try and book online... but was put off by the fact that TicketCharge charges an additional RM12 as a "service fee." That's way too much, I thought. I mean, if I were booking a RM375 ticket to see Beyonce, I wouldn't blink an eye at a RM12 service fee. Nobody minds paying up to RM5 extra for the convenience of booking a theater ticket online - but RM12? That's 33% of the ticket price! What if I were buying TWO tickets? RM24 could easily buy a very fine dinner for two...


Fast-forward to 24 October. I get to Jaya One around 8:20PM and, after asking a couple of people, manage to locate PJ Live Arts. As I stand in line at the ticket office, I notice a poster for MACC 1st EGM  that has "Sold Out" scrawled over it in black marker. True enough, it was a full house - not even one seat left! But a girl named Lulu was really helpful. She told me to hang around till just before 9PM - in case somebody cancelled out. Just then I bumped into Patrick Teoh and his lovely wife Min Chan with heartthrob actor/director/playwright Gavin Yap in tow. They were downing some beers and awaiting the arrival of more friends. We had a quick chat and then I headed back to the ticket office where more friends were assembled - including a few prominent bloggers I had never met in person (Nathaniel Tan and Khoo Kay Peng to name but two). They were waiting around for cancellations too.

But as it turned out there was only ONE cancellation... and since I was alone I got it! I wasn't going to miss MACC 1st EGM after all :-)

Pic courtesy of Grant Corban

The President, Vice-President, Treasurer, Secretary and Supreme Advisor of the Malaysian Association of Chinese Comedians is a mutant Malaysian Chinese multi-tasker named Douglas Lim (left). I first heard of him when my daughter was assistant director on a successful sitcom called Kopitiam. She told me supporting actor Douglas Lim was incredibly talented but I must admit I was more keen to be introduced to Joanna Bessey, the star of the series. Back then at only 18, Douglas Lim looked rather nerdy - but it was undeniable that he was a natural-born actor, singer and comedian with tremendous promise.

Well, that promise has been totally fulfilled. Douglas Lim at 32 is a world-class act. I never would have believed a Chinaman could do stand-up comedy the way Douglas does it. Back in the mid-1980s my friend Thor Kah Hoong gave it a shot and he did pretty okay - but I still preferred Chris Rush, Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, even Robin Williams. Thor was simply too cerebral, too cynical, too dry (and too skinny) and for my taste.

Along came the irresistible Jit Murad and the inimitable Harith Iskandar, followed by the untoppable Alan Pereira and Indi Nadarajah (of Comedy Court fame). Amazing talents - but not Chinese mah, that's why so funny. Before long, Patrick Teoh and Nell Ng joined the luminous cast of The Instant Cafe Theatre and both proved to be extreme hoots on stage and always entertaining - but while Patrick and Nell are fantastic comedians, they don't actually do stand-up stuff. Riveting pub entertainer Rafique Rashid acquired a loyal following as a singing stand-up comedian whose specialty was "Weird Al" Yankovic-style spoof songs - but his only claim to Chineseness was his predilection for Chinese girls with nice legs. And then, of course, there's the supercool Afdlin Shauki - but also not Chinese, so not counted.

Well, I tell you, this fella Douglas Lim can hold his own on the same stage with all the great names in stand-up comedy - including, possibly, the late great George Carlin. You know why? Because if you can do stand-up comedy with a typical Chinaman accent and not make everybody cringe... you've got to be absolutely fantastic!

Watch Douglas Lim in action, expressing the frustration some of us must feel because we happen to be born yellow instead of black...



Stand-up comedy is perhaps the most challenging form of performance. Apart from your voice, your brain, and your own body - all you've got is a microphone. No fake mustache, no funny hat. The ones who make it in this incredibly challenging medium must also be equipped with brains that can process data at a million times average speed. In short, unless you qualify as a Grade A mutant genius, don't even bother auditioning as a stand-up comedian.

I wish I could upload a few more clips of Douglas doing his thang. But they don't exist on YouTube yet. The kind of rapid-fire multi-layered humor he trades in can't really be transcribed as text because one has to see his face and watch his moves. Suffice to say, Douglas Lim found a new fan in me that night.

The MACC 1st EGM poster featured two other board members of the Malaysian Association of Chinese Comedians: Phoon Chi Ho (listed as an "intern") and Kuah Jenhan ("sacked - pending appeal"). Phoon had to cancel out at the last minute because he was down with chicken pox. That put the onus on 22-year-old Jenhan (left) to work doubly hard since it was now a two-man rather than a three-man show. I'm happy to report that Jenhan's performance was truly outstanding, no doubt because he picked the best sifu (guru) in the business - Douglas Lim, whose masterful tutelage Jenhan acknowledged more than once during his routine.

What impressed me most was the sheer sophistication of the material presented at MACC 1st EGM. Douglas and Jenhan effortlessly negotiated the squiggly boundary between heavyweight cutting-edge political satire and lighthearted pop trivia and kept the audience rolling in the aisles without a moment's letup.

The audience, about 75% Chinese I'd venture, left the theatre feeling it's actually quite okay to be born yellow instead of black or white. That's really no mean feat - to make being Chinese look funky, funny, sexy and lovable all at once!

Douglas and Jenham fully earned the standing ovation they received that memorable Saturday night.

Get Ready For Galactic Alignment!

Recorded July 2009


The Final Mayan Calendar steps to 2012:
8 November 2009 – beginning of the 6th Night

By Carl Johan Calleman

Before going into the specifics of the upcoming sixth night, November 8, 2009 – November 2, 2010, of the Galactic Wave Movement (or Underworld) I feel I should clarify some of my basic points of departure for understanding the Mayan calendar, since the various ideas that are currently proposed for this vary significantly. There are for instance those that believe that the end date of the Mayan calendar only marks the end of a cycle and the beginning of a new. On my own part I however think that we are approaching something much more profound than just a point in a cycle that again will be repeated. The only Mayan inscription from ancient times, the Tortuguero monument, which describes the end of their calendar says that nine cosmic forces will then manifest. Empirically, there is also overwhelming evidence from modern research that we are approaching a point in time when nine evolutionary levels (so called Underworlds) of the cosmic plan are simultaneously going to be completed. This would imply that we are approaching not another cycle or another shift, but the end to all shifts, which have been driving evolution since the beginning of the universe. Such an end to all shifts could conceivably provide the basis for a harmonious eternal peace on Earth.

What is about to transpire now is in other words not something that has ever happened before in the history of the universe. Maybe this impending change, partially unknown, causes the widespread denial that I feel dominate many people at the current moment. Rather than facing a great change in our socioeconomic relationships (since any change in human consciousness also implies a change in our relationships) many prefer to fantasize about some physical or astronomical event, that purportedly is going to happen on December 21, 2012. In reality the Mayan calendar is however not about something that will happen on a singular date, but a description of a divine plan for the evolution of humankind where quantum shifts between calendrical energies bring about shifts in consciousness. Thus, human consciousness will continue to be transformed step by step in accordance with this plan until we come to the real end date of the process of creation, October 28, 2011. At this date the highest quantum state of the universe will be attained (13.13.13.13.13.13.13.13.13 13 Ahau) when the shifts disrupting the harmony will come to an end. Obviously, we are not there yet.

In this plan for the evolution of consciousness we are now approaching the sixth night of the Galactic Wave Movement, the eighth of the nine levels, which will begin on November 8, 2009. If my understanding of the Mayan calendar is correct we will in this coming night be witnessing the most significant transformation of consciousness ever in the history of mankind. What is exciting about this is that I feel that a relatively clear picture of how a new world is going to be born is now finally becoming evident. On the other hand, what is also becoming increasingly clear is that this birth is likely to become very demanding. For this reason it becomes all the more important to understand how some of the difficulties ahead actually serve the delivery of this new world even though it may not always seem that they do so in the moment. If people can gain a realistic understanding of how this new world will be born they may be able to keep a hope for the future, which is based on something more than mere wishful thinking. Unfortunately, much confusion reigns about the Mayan calendar and many that present themselves as experts on this deny the ancient Mayan knowledge that there are nine cosmic forces that are about to manifest, and that it is these, and nothing else, that explains why a new world will be born.

Thus, what will happen in the time ahead cannot be understood from the sixth night of the Galactic Underworld alone. The overlapping of the cycles preparing for the ninth, and highest, level in the cosmic evolution scheme; the Universal Wave Movement (see Figure below) with the energy of this sixth night will then also need to be taken into consideration. Because of this overlapping, and the speed-up of time associated especially with the latter Wave Movement, not only do I think that the upcoming period will be unusually intense, but also energetically quite complex.

Click to enlarge

At the time of this writing (October 31, 2009, 1 Ben) we are towards the end of the sixth day, the period of flowering in the process from seed to mature fruit in the Galactic Wave Movement, which precedes the sixth night. As I predicted in an earlier article it would now to some economists seem that the “global economic recession” (or the worst of it) is already over. There are however certain things currently going on in the world that belies this and are more in line with the prediction I made in an article in May of a further economic downturn, especially expressed in a fall in the value of the US dollar, to take place around the time that the sixth night begins. While several sources now predict a dollar fall it is important to note that mine was made a relatively long time ago and if it proves to be correct shows that what is happening in the economy is part of a divine plan charted by the Mayan calendar.

My prediction of a further economic downturn was based on the observation that nights, at least in the second part of an evolutionary Wave Movement, usually mean at the very least a slowdown of economic growth. An indication of such an impending downturn at this upcoming night is for instance that there has been a rush for gold, which for the first time passed the magical limit of USD 1000/troy ounce. Moreover, an index of insider trading shows that people knowledgeable about the actual basis for valuing US stock tend to think of this as highly overvalued. Most importantly, increasingly higher voices are now raised in almost all corners of the world for the replacement of the petrodollar system and thus also of the use of the US dollar as the world’s reserve currency. These various indices thus do not indicate that the “recession” is over, but if anything that an intensification of the economic decline, especially in the indebted West, is imminent. It seems that investors are escaping assets in the form of paper or digit values, which is exactly what we would expect from this late phase of the Galactic Wave Movement, when a shift in consciousness amounting to a shift from abstract to concrete economic values is taking place. Thus, while many will say that the changes are a result of a conspiracy, for instance against the US, the point to realize is that if that were the case they would not have been predictable from the Mayan calendar.

I believe that what is happening in the world’s economy is something much more profound and fundamental than a temporary recession and is a direct consequence of the particular transformation of consciousness that the Galactic Wave Movement is bringing. As I explain in my new book The Purposeful Universe, consciousness is primarily a relationship to the Tree of Life, which exists on many different levels of the cosmos and causes synchronized shifts on these different levels. What this means is that the shifts in consciousness that give new directions to our lives will also directly affect the world and society at large and how we relate to this. A shift in consciousness is hence not something that only happens in our heads, but is simultaneously also expressed in changes in our relationships. Our economic relationships are thus also subject to shifts in consciousness and the evolution of this. We should then expect an even further escape from abstract values as the sixth night begins, a shift that may be expected to especially severely hit the western economies of the United States and the United Kingdom, which remain the financial centers of the world and control much of its banking activities. At the present time these nations, and especially the United States, are so indebted that there really is no need to present an explanation as to why there would be another downturn in its economy. All that is needed for this is something to trigger what is going to happen anyway one way or another. While many things may trigger such a downturn, and the media will place all the emphasis on this trigger, the deeper reasons for a downturn is best understood from the Mayan calendar. From a Mayan calendar perspective the ongoing decline in economic growth reflects a stepwise adaptation to the end of the economic cycles that will be associated with the Mayan end date (or beginning date of a new world if you like).

If the downturn of the economy is part of a process creating the conditions for the birth of a new world a relevant question to ask is how deep it is going to be. Even if it seems clear that the value of paper money, and especially the US dollar, will be hit, it is still somewhat of an open question how far-reaching the consequences of this will be. I think this can only be understood from a study of what might be the nature of the new world to be born. When it comes to understanding this it seems however that there are actually no ancient Mayan sources to consult. The Mayan sources only say that Nine cosmic forces are going to manifest as the calendar comes to an end, but there is no ancient inscription, which talks about what will follow upon this. Because of this dearth of material I suggest that we turn to sources from the large Abrahamic religions such as the Bible or the Quran, which do say something on the matter. If we combine these with our understanding from the Mayan calendar I feel we may gain some idea of what is to come. I believe everything that has been happening in this time plan has been subordinated to the delivery of this new world.

Hence, the Quran says this in Surah 82:17-19: “And what will explain to thee what the Day of Judgment is? Again, what will explain to thee what the Day of Judgment is? (It will be) the Day when no soul shall have power (to do) aught for another: For the command, that Day, will be (wholly) with Allah.” I believe this disappearance of dominance may refer to the Universal Underworld, which brings a consciousness of oneness and transparency to our whole beings and all of our past actions. If we take this seriously it would imply that all chains to people dominating others would need to be broken. The last book of the Bible, the Book of Revelation 21:4-5 also describes a new world to be born: “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new.” This would seem to imply that all chains to the past would need to be broken for the new world to be born. Taken together it would seem that as pre-requisites for the birth of a new earth we would need to free ourselves from the chains to the past as well as from chains to other people.

Loom of Maya

To some these changes may look so great that it might even be more comfortable to fantasize that the world would come to an end than to go through all of the necessary changes that would more or less turn our world upside down. Certainly, there is also a tremendous amount of people in power, who do not want to see such a transformation towards equality and harmony coming about. These quotes may however give us a hint about where the economic downturn may be leading us and how deep it will be. Will money for instance completely disappear? I think the answer to this is that money will disappear to the extent that it no longer chains the world to the past. In practice, this probably means that all thinking about profitable investing etc is somewhat beside the point, since the emerging new world is not likely to be a growth economy based on the drive for accumulation of abstract values. More likely, the new world is going to be one based on sharing and care-taking of all members of society as the unity consciousness of the Universal Wave Movement, presumably after much turmoil, eventually is established.

Read the full article here.

Who is Carl Johan Calleman and why is he so obsessed with the Mayan Calendar?

HEY GUYS, BE NICE TO MY FRIEND NOW!

Bernard Khoo aka Zorro and I

Got an SMS this evening that pissed me off. My buddy Bernard is being harassed by Najib's Nazi Regime. The cops have called him in for questioning over something he ranted about in his popular blog. This sort of shit is never good news. I doubt anything will emerge from Zorro's 3PM appointment at the Commercial Crimes Department (near the Bank Negara KTM stop) - but the fact that the regime is on the rampage again augurs ill for the truth-loving.

Zorro speaks truth to Power. And it appears that Power doesn't want to hear; in fact, wants Zorro to shut up. Or at least tone down his rage against the nightmare of a nation in the clutches of terminal dementia. You've got to be demented if you can endure Pink Lips's 1Malaysia crap - or you may have grown up in the era of Vision 2020 and Malaysia Boleh and are therefore immune to official spin.

One thing Umno hasn't learned: if a very large number of people detest you, switching to a different brand of shampoo won't improve your chances of re-election. Even a complete wardrobe change won't save your skin.

The only real option is to apologize, retire to the wings, and let another management team take over. A genuine show of humility, remorse and the beginnings of wisdom should make it easier for us to forgive you and refrain from coming down hard on you.

Ten years playing the role of Loyal Opposition will do wonders for your soul. People may even start liking you again.

Meanwhile, let's not stand for heavy-handed tactics to inject fear into the blogosphere. If you care for freedom and justice, show your moral support for Zorro by turning up at the Commercial Crimes Department at 3PM, 4 November 2009.

The Most Obnoxious Cop In KL?

Ladies and Gentlemen, watch these videos and you'll agree that Brickfields OCPD Asst Comm Wan Abdul Bari Wan Abdul Khalid fully deserves the 2009 Award for "The Most Obnoxious Cop in KL"...



Here he is, the delightfully obnoxious Wan Bari Wan Khalid, interrupting Tian Chua's speech during Nurul Izzah's fund-raising dinner at Taman Sri Sentosa on 31 October 2009. A special halloween treat for horror movie fans!

Flashback to 8 May 2009...



For the second straight night the Brickfields police have arrested people who gathered to show support for activist Wong Chin Huat, arrested under the Sedition Act on Wednesday.

In a repeat of last night's shameful demonstration of police aggression, 14 people were arrested again today for allegedly participating in an illegal assembly. About two hours later, six others were also taken in, including lawyers who had come to assist those arrested earlier.

The 14 - nine men and five women - included PKR Youth movement exco member Ginie Lim, KLSCAH Youth chief Ng Chong Soon, journalist Teh Yi Keong, PKR party worker Chua Yee Ling and several student activists.

The arrested lawyers were Fadiah Nadwa Fikri, Syuhaini Safwan, Puspawati Rosman, Ravinder Singh and Murnie Hidayah Anuar. They are all from the Bar Council's legal aid centre.

All six were arrested for illegal gathering.

Camera: Amirrudin Abdullah
Editor: Lydia Azizan

If I were the homo minister, I'd either promote this psychopath to IGP and turn the whole country into Abu Ghraib... or hang my head in shame and resign.

LIGHTNING GOT MY MODEM... AGAIN!

Well, it's a Sunday and the only place in Kuala Kubu Bharu where I might have picked up a new modem is the cybercafe I use whenever my phone line is down. Unfortunately they don't sell any basic modems. No way I'll fork out RM200+ for a Level One modem with built-in wireless router. So I'll just have to wait till the Kedai Telekom opens tomorrow to sort it out. Meanwhile, read all about the mysteries of lightning here.