In October 2011 I was without home access to the internet. We are all creatures of habit and I continued sitting at my computer, sorting out the contents of my personal folders so I could save useful documents on a pen drive. This exercise yielded some interesting discoveries from the recent past - like this hitherto unpublished interview (dated 14 September 2003) conducted by Joeanne Foo, a mass communications student whose assignment was to write a magazine profile on any "colorful and unusual" personality. She began by sending me 13 questions...
1) Who is Antares?
A possible walk-in phenomenon, perhaps, wherein a multidimensional entity (from beyond the 3D Matrix) has effectively fused with the human personality known as "Kit Leee" - or else Antares is a temporary User ID for surfing the zuvuya (what the Maya call the intergalactic, interdimensional memory network). All names, all labels, are essentially part of the return journey to our original and ultimate Ineffability (meaning, the perfect state of Namelessness, or the Tao).
2) What would you consider the biggest achievement(s) in your life? Remembering the Source of Life and reconnecting with It. On a more modest scale, getting my mother to spell my 3D name, Kit Leee, with 3 E's was exceptionally gratifying. She finally accepted my Third E only after seeing the name printed on the cover of my first book, ADOI!I am also extremely proud of the fact that I quit my last full-time job on 1st April 1977 and have been gleefully "unemployed" since!
3) You talked about having an awakening, what is that all about?
During the 13,000-year long Galactic Night when our Solar System was aligned in the opposite direction from the Milky Way Center, all life entered into a deep sleep and became more and more mechanical in its functions (this has been depicted in allegoric terms in popular folklore, e.g., the legend of the Sleeping Beauty). All through this period of reduced consciousness, which Hindu cosmogony calls Kali yuga or the Age of Darkness, individual souls have awoken to the true nature of their beings from time to time, but were often viewed as avatars (divine incarnations), messiahs or prophets (in effect, put on a pedestal and worshiped, but their message was ignored or misconstrued).
As we approach the dawn of a new Galactic Day, this process of Awakening will happen to more and more individuals until a critical mass is attained, at which point humanity as a whole will remember its true destiny and no longer be enslaved by fear, ignorance, and false beliefs. My individual awakening in 1969 continues to be the central motif of my life - and my determination to never again forget my reason for being has given me the inner resolve to persevere against all odds. (If you genuinely wish to explore this theme further, I suggest you read my long letter to a friend now accessible online.
4) Many people see you as a rather eccentric person, do you see yourself that way? My understanding of the word "eccentric" is that it describes an orbital pattern that is "off-center" or differently aligned than others. In certain areas I behave just like everybody else, while in others I am completely unique. In short, if people enjoy describing my inclinations as "eccentric" they are free to do so, but their opinions have little impact on my inner reality. I certainly don't view myself as "eccentric" - if anything, I am "centric" or at least "concentric."
5) If you could turn back time somehow, would you choose to live your life differently?
Absolutely not. Well, maybe I'd change my mind about incarnating on this planet - but then I'd be missing all the fun. Who knows? I didn't plan a single day of my life - and thus far the results have been way beyond my wildest expectations.
6) Would you consider yourself a celebrity?
Anyone who even takes the word "celebrity" seriously needs to be reformatted! Why? There's no real meaning or value to being "famous" – the more people that "know of" you the fewer close friends you actually end up having. No doubt in my younger days I enjoyed being admired, recognized, praised for my work. I guess I still do, but I will no longer do something just to get my picture in the weeklies. Sometimes I can't help thinking it could be quite enjoyable to be completely anonymous and have access to a multibillion-dollar numbered account in Switzerland - but that's just on really bad-hair days.
7) Tell me more about your involvement with music.
Music is among the major sources of pleasure for me - whether making it or merely listening. The word derives from "Muse" (inspiration, being moved by Spirit) - which shows how crucial music is to raising our consciousness, lifting our spirits, sensitizing us to aesthetics (the appreciation of beauty, harmony, truth). Furthermore, music can only occur in real time - and is therefore the most elegant way to experience and enjoy Time. My musical taste is what you might call "eclectic" - I am attracted to the singer, not the song; in other words, if the musician/performer has integrity and originality of expression, I find it appealing. I am not particularly interested in musical genres, as such. If a piece of music inspires me, it matters little whether it is classified jazz or classics or pop or avant-garde.
8) You seem to be mentioning a lot about 'rainbow' in your website. Nelson Mandela used the word to describe a multiracial nation. Do you use it in the same context?
The rainbow is a universal symbol of perfect harmony - of the essential unity of all pluralities (the 12 colors of the spectrum are essentially a transcendental, colorless wholeness, represented by Light). Darkness is not an entity unto itself, merely the absence of Light - which manifests in rainbow colors as many languages, many tribes, many forms, many approaches to self-knowledge. So, in response to your question, the rainbow means more than just multi-ethnicity to me - it encompasses a magical quality of awesome splendor, of innocence and openness to all manifestations of life in the entire spectrum of possibility. The rainbow carries the frequency of joy, celebration, divine ecstasy.
9) What are your future plans? The future is how I feel at any moment. How can I plan the way I feel from one moment to the next? Life would cease to be spontaneous! In other words, I do not plan my life - although under specific circumstances, e.g., when I want to travel or manifest a public event, I have to do a certain amount of preparation, deciding what to pack, what form of transport to take, or where and when to stage the show and who to invite. Apart from that, I prefer to be fully present in the moment - and thus able to respond instantly and wholeheartedly to any given situation.
10) You have explored many religions, which one do you find the most fascinating and that you hold on to in life?
All religions have a certain fascination or they would have no followers at all. In general, I find the older belief systems a great deal more mature and acceptable - and a lot less divisive - than the younger ones. Although I have at various times experimented with pretending to be "hindu" or "buddhist" I have found myself gravitating towards the most ancient of belief systems, which some call paganism and others Gnosticism. But even so I do not consider myself a practitioner of any specific belief system, not even scientific pantheism (which closely describes my basic attitude towards existence). As John C. Lilly (a pioneer researcher of altered states of human consciousness) once said: "Belief systems are like clothes. The harsher the climate, the more clothes one wears. But in paradise, under ideal conditions, one doesn't need clothes." In other words, if you want to live in heaven, befriend the naked truth!
11) Do you feel like you have total control over yourself and what you believe in or do you find yourself sometimes lost in your own eccentricity?
Total control? I certainly don't have that - and doubt I would want it. If you mean, do I have total control over my thoughts and feelings - the answer is "no way!" A certain degree of control, of course, is necessary or else one couldn't master anything, especially oneself. But I don't view self-mastery as being equal to self-control. Self-mastery means no longer seeking outside approval for one's being or behavior. Self-control means not desperately seeking to always impose one's preferences or truths on others, to shut up when no one wants your opinion - a mental state not at all easy to sustain.
12) Lightning, scary or fascinating? Mind explaining? Lightning is always fascinating, even exciting, to me. It's a visible manifestation of electricity as it moves through the atmosphere - and to me electricity is my true father (and magnetism my true mother). We are, in truth, interesting byproducts of electromagnetic flux!
13) What's the difference between Antares and Kit Leee? Why emphasize on being Antares?
This question has been answered right from the start, but I'll answer it again, a bit differently. "Antares" is a name I "received" during a meditation, while in a lucid and mature state of mind (I had orbited the Sun 42 times). "Kit" was a name assigned to me at birth by my paternal grandfather (it means "hero" in Chinese, as in the Mandarin "Jet"). I like the name "Kit Leee" very much - but at a certain point it ceased to define my focus in life, which became less and less personal and more and more transpersonal. In effect the entity called "Kit Leee" was a human personality anxious about being liked or disliked, eager to become rich and famous (like everyone who lives under a tempurung is programmed to be). However, "Antares" serves to anchor my consciousness in concerns beyond the merely human, beyond the physical, egoic level where "survival" seems to be the central focus. "Antares" is a galactic tag which gives me access to galactic intelligence - very useful as we attain Galactic Alignment, as marked by the December solstice of 2012 (Gregorian Reckoning).
13 questions for you to attempt ;) Good luck...
Thank you. 13 is a powerful number indeed. It marks the end of an octave/cycle in which all preceding qualities are reconciled, integrated and harmonized! [First posted 17 October 2011. Reposted 31 October 2016 & 27 December 2021]
Our individuality is a miraculous quality, attained through countless aeons of incarnate experience. Indeed, one could say being a fully conscious Integer/Oneness is the whole point and purpose of Evolution/Devolution.
For generations humanity has been misled by gurus and holographically inserted "messengers" who taught us that our own egos are our worst enemy - that one has to destroy one's ego in order to fuse with All That Is or Spirit Most High or The Great Void or whatever you wish to call this nebulous concept of Ultimate Awareness.
Yes, from the Ocean we emerge as tiny drops of consciousness, with a deeply embedded yearning to return to and merge with the Oceanic "I Am That I Am" - however, that merger can be experienced consciously only when we value our uniqueness as individuals.
Our task is to reunite with Source, bringing with us all our experiential databases and our particular perspectives. Think of it in terms of a band or orchestra. The soul must switch from playing in concert with everybody else - and yet be able to express its own specific being when required to solo.
This is one ramification of Hologram Theory, of the idea of ourselves as fractals of the Ultimate Unity. So, while I understand the Buddhistic preference for the path of "ego transcendence" (a very "Eastern" teaching, and one I have always rejected as totally misguided), I'm also prompted to offer my view. The "impersonal" is to me a very dangerous and dehumanizing perspective; it's what turns decent folk into faceless bureaucrats, honest individuals into nameless agents of institutionalized ideologies. Be TRANSpersonal by all means.... but NEVER IMpersonal!
And that "Love 'n' Light" stuff has long been co-opted and corrupted by New Age shysters who are mainly in it for the money!
I trust folks who sign off as their own authority, as their unique selves, instead of hiding behind anonymity or quoting various long-gone entities.
Photo by Spencer Tunick
Be proud of who you are and what you look like. That's what makes our physical existence an exquisite privilege. What joy is there in communicating with a thinking cloud, a burning bush, or a pulsating blue light?
The skin that enwraps the being that is YOU and/or ME is what separates each of us from the rest of the Youniverse, it's true - but at least it's something tangible, palpable, something we can caress, cherish, and savor.
[Originally posted 2 January 2007, reposted 14 January 2020]
I don’t recall a time when the forces of polarization have been stronger on this earth. Nor do I recall a time in my life when I have felt more unsure of every idea I once held close to my heart as absolute truth.
Let me backtrack a little to the Solstice of 21 December 2012. The date itself had since the Harmonic Convergence of August 1987 become a planetary meme signifying the transition between two zodiacal ages, Pisces and Aquarius, and the beginning of a glorious new evolutionary spiral - even if some mistakenly interpreted it as another “end of the world” scenario (although it has certainly proved to be the end of the world as we knew it, at least for those of us born in the 20th century).
Well, on 21 December 2012 I was struck with a severe pain in my lower back (later diagnosed as a mild case of spondylitis) and found myself lying in bed, attended by three healing angels. Just being able to get out of bed and stand straight, not to mention walk around without my whole body twisting up in agony, was all I could focus on. Fortunately the pain eased up and within a couple of days I began to feel more myself.
Heiko & Selina Niedermeyer
On 30 December, I had a long conversation with two healer-counselor friends (Heiko and Selina Niedermeyer) who invited me to usher in 2013 with them. I booked them for a 2-hour healing session on 4 January 2013 and the rest of the year was dedicated to fixing my backache – first with acupuncture, then with a dozen chiropractic sessions, and finally with a series of structural reintegration manipulations (based on Ida Rolf’s deep tissue massage techniques) conducted by another healing angel named Michelle Ch’ng. All in all, I spent close to RM10,000 just so I could stand and walk properly.
That was the bad news. The good news was that I had the money to pay for healing myself physically as well as metaphysically – because my parents’ house was finally sold in late 2013 and my share of the proceeds, though modest by most standards, was more cash in the piggy than I had seen in my entire life. It was fantastic to feel financially comfortable, for the first time ever, and in a position to be generous with others. But four years down the line, less than half of that windfall remains, because it has been all outflow with hardly any cash income.
Chennai-based nadi leaf reader Mr Kumar
So here we are in December 2017 and there is a gnawing feeling that I shall have to consider finding ways of generating funds in 2018. True, a nadi leaf reader I saw in March 2014 informed me that owing to positive karma I will “never have financial problems, forever”… mind you, he didn’t say I’d be rich, just free from lack, which is good enough for me.
It has certainly been a crazy helter-skelter ride in the last five years. I call it the Time Compression Effect where everything can change in a heartbeat – what more from day to day or month to month.
Anwar hugs his wife before being hauled off
to Sungai Buloh Prison, 10 February 2015
For Malaysia the year 2015 started ominously with the imprisonment of Opposition Leader Anwar Ibrahim on 10 February. A few months later the RM52-billion 1MDB debacle – billed as the most audacious case of kleptocracy in history – erupted on the international news - and only the totally apathetic, completely blind or utterly corrupt could deny that we were saddled with a crooked finance minister who also conveniently happens to be the crime (not prime) minister. What is most startling, though, is that nobody has been forced to resign – except dissidents and whistleblowers – while outspoken Opposition leaders, commentators and journalists have been harassed, intimidated, arrested and dragged through the kangaroo courts.*
The year before, on 7 March 2014, Anwar’s January 2012 acquittal by a high court judge had been overturned by the Court of Appeal. There would likely have been massive street protests – but for the mysterious disappearance of Flight MH370 just six hours after the judges pronounced Anwar guilty. Instead of mammoth rallies demanding justice for the Opposition Leader, Malaysians were glued to laptop and TV screens, waiting for a breakthrough in the fruitless search for the missing Boeing 777 with 239 on board (many are convinced its autopilot system was remotely taken over and the plane hijacked to Diego Garcia; while some psychics maintain that Flight MH370 went through a portal into a different dimension). A few months later, another horrendous “accident” involving the national airline MAS – when Flight MH17 from Amsterdam to Kuala Lumpur was blown out of the sky as collateral damage in the murkiest of spy-versus-spy maneuvers.
Aftermath of the 1 October 2017 Massacre in Las Vegas
So instead of a planet-wide epiphany, we are witnessing bewildering events of an apocalyptic nature, orchestrated by hidden hands. And it has been so since 11 September 2001 – relentlessly so – as reported by the establishment media.
A few glimpses of light do issue from alternative media via the internet - and are immediately dismissed as “fake news” by those who have traditionally scripted events on the world stage. It’s almost as if humans are now divided into Bluepillers and Redpillers - not just Leftwingers and Rightwingers as we used to be, or Liberals and Conservatives.
Indeed, the incredibly intense years since 2012 appear to be a single continuum of dramatic, often abrupt and violent, change. I can’t even confine myself to writing about what transpired in 2017 without referencing 2016 and the tumultuous preceding years. 2016 certainly stands out on so many levels: apart from being the hottest year recorded in recent memory, when a whole slew of celebrities checked out, it was also the year of Brexit (UK’s referendum on whether to stay or leave the EU) and Trump’s unexpected electoral victory.
In 2016 I found myself diverging from the views of almost everyone I know on a broad spectrum of issues - from political correctness and vaccinations to tolerating virulent belief systems disguised as religion. I was secretly pleased about the way the Brexit vote went, even though I knew it would create massive confusion and distress for a great many who were happy to be able to live and work freely all over the European Union. Brexit was a spanner in the works for the globalist totalitarian vision of the New World Order cabal; it paved the way for further fragmentation and decentralized power - very good news indeed when those who would wield absolute power over others are hideously disconnected from their own hearts and feel nothing but contempt for Mother Earth.
All my adult life I have seen myself as essentially a liberal person with progressive ideas about everything. Although not a US citizen, I have long favored the Democrats over the Republicans. In hindsight my views were influenced by the Zionist-Khazarian-owned “liberal” media (including Hollywood) and the “well-educated” company I kept. I had been impressed by Bill Clinton’s easy charm and intelligence as a presidential figure and saw Hillary as a tenacious street-savvy politician (but that was during the early days of the internet and few of us had access to alternative journalism, so we really had no idea what nasty things public figures got up to in private).
Barack Obama’s entry into the White House seemed to be a harbinger of a happier new era – but it didn’t take long for me to notice he was really just a fabulous orator who got the job because he looked suave and urbane in a custom-tailored suit. Long before his term ended it was obvious that Obama was a hardcore status-quoist with no intentions to rock the neoliberal crony-capitalist boat or turn on his deep state sponsors. For a start, Obama failed to launch a proper enquiry into the outrageous 9/11 black ops (which launched the spurious and perpetual “war on terror”). He promised to shut down Guantanamo Bay but didn’t.
Then he allowed state secretary Hillary Clinton to launch a massive black op against the Gaddafi regime in Libya and authorized countless drone attacks on civilians in Afghanistan. He allowed the CIA and Mossad to fund, arm and train mercenaries under the Daesh-Islamic Caliphate flag in an insidious attempt to destabilize the Assad regime in Syria, resulting in horrendous atrocities and the death of countless thousands, triggering mass migrations on a catastrophic scale. He even closed an eye to a cocaine syndicate operated by Hezbollah. The last straw was his active participation in the staged assassination of CIA operative Osama bin Laden. In retrospect the only laudable act of Obama’s entire presidency was his pardoning of army whistleblower Chelsea Manning just before he left the White House (even though her freedom proved shortlived).
As the US presidential race heated up and everyone’s favorite candidate Bernie Sanders quickly got nudged out by Hillary Rodham Clinton, amid reports of electoral rigging in the primaries, I began to pay more attention to narratives that were deliberately being omitted by the mainstream media. Dozens of YouTube channels were sprouting overnight, featuring young and plugged-in citizen journalists and political commentators who seemed to have their fingers on the post-2012 pulse of things. They were discussing important issues – such as endemic corruption within the machinery of government, congressmen and senators on the payroll of banks and giant corporations that influenced policies through professional lobbyists, rogue elements in the CIA and FBI, involved in a long list of black ops - from the assassinations of the Kennedy brothers (JFK and RFK), Martin Luther King, and John Lennon to false flag events like the Oklahoma City bombing and 9/11, not to mention apparently random acts of senseless violence involving demented (or mind-controlled) shooters, suicide bombers and jihadi drivers mowing down pedestrians.
On 8 November 2016, much to my own surprise, I found myself rooting for Donald J. Trump who represents a wild card, a political amateur – as opposed to Hillary Clinton who stands for the deeply-entrenched cynicism, corruption, hypocrisy and bloodthirsty cruelty that has long been associated with the traditional power structure. All the well-known political pundits were convinced HRC would be a shoo-in. When Trump was sworn in as the 45th US president, I knew the geopolitical world had shattered into fragments and would never be the same again.
But was The Donald really going to “drain the swamp” (with a little bit of help from the Marines and the “White Hat Alliance”) as he promised, and put the Bush and Clinton crime families in jail? Would he really reopen the 9/11 investigation and let the truth finally see the light of day? It seemed an impossible undertaking – the rot had set in so deep at all levels. Most folks continue to be distracted by trivia, judging by their posts on Instagram and Facebook, and when they do have a strong opinion about anything, it is more often than not influenced by leftwing neoliberal (read Khazarian mafia) media like CNN, MSNBC, ABC, the Huffington Post or the New York Times - or any number of trendy online magazines like BuzzFeed which specialize in launching trendy memes into cyberspace via Facebook. To the “well-informed” and intelligent but unwittingly brainwashed majority, Donald Trump is a just a hideous joke - and the Clintons and Obamas far more “reasonable” leadership choices. How little they know about what’s been going on right below their noses and under their feet!
I suppose if millions of humans over the last few thousand years have allowed their children to be indoctrinated by predator priests with questionable ideas like “virgin birth” and “72 virgins in paradise” (why this obsession with virginity, I wonder?)… believing that governments are in power “to serve the people”… religious and educational institutions exist “to serve God” and “impart knowledge” to the masses… and that royal bloodlines are actually “noble”… well, that explains why they have no problems at all with their own cognitive dissonance.
On a more personal level (I tend to be transpersonal by default), 2017 hasn’t been much fun, despite many magical encounters, unforgettable moments, minor miracles, and a great deal for which to be thankful. The year began with a massive shock when my only begotten son Ahau Ben stood up, blacked out, and fell with a loud splat on the floor, breaking his humerus. I assure you, it wasn’t at all funny to spend New Year’s Day taking him to the district hospital where there is no orthopedic unit. Long story short, it was a wake-up call for me as well as Mary Maguire (Ahau’s surrogate mum and our next-door neighbor since 2008). We spent the greater part of 2017 fretting about Ahau’s erratic brain chemistry which seemed to trigger absence seizures (resembling epileptic fits) and seeing him in a cast month after month after month.
In mid-January we took Ahau to see a neurologist at Universiti Malaya Specialist Center (UMSC) who prescribed 200-mg carpamezapine daily, to which Ahau responded instantly and favorably. He has been fine since – although in July he gave us another fright when he went into convulsions for a good 20 minutes, running a high fever. Mary brought his temperature down with an ice-pack and, to our relief, he broke out in chicken pox the next morning. So it was brought on by the onset of chicken pox – thankfully not another seizure!**
Rehman Rashid (1955-2017)
2017 was also a year I lost a few friends – whether through physical or emotional death. Most prominent among these was my old friend the celebrated author Rehman Rashid who suffered a heart attack in Rawang while out on his titanium bicycle and ended up in a 4-month coma (because it took two whole hours to get him to the Coronary Care Unit of Selayang Hospital, which resulted in brain damage from oxygen deprivation, even though Rawang is technically only 15 minutes from the hospital).
Rehman and I had since the new millennium drifted apart and were reduced to exchanging pleasantries at supermarket checkout counters, even though we lived in the same small town. I saw him as a great soul and a brilliant mind whose patriarchal ego, alas, all-too-often undermined his own need for emotional intimacy and warm friendship. Finally his heart gave way around dawn on 3 June 2017 and it must have been a tremendous release and a relief for him, as well as for his mother Rosna and brother Rafique who had been commuting daily to the hospital since January 26th. Rehman’s passing felt like the loss of a brother, albeit an estranged one, but at least it left no bitter aftertaste – only a poignant sense that it was a death mourned by an entire nation, for Rehman Rashid was a brilliant thinker, storyteller and patriot of the first magnitude.
Far more painful and distressing losses occurred in 2017 when two witchy goddess embodiments I had long loved and cherished succumbed to possession by parasitic entities, turned paranoid, and abruptly disconnected from me, hurling noxious abuse. The first psychic attack occurred during the Hari Raya period; the second before the year ended. Emotional aftershocks are still being felt that undermine my faith in the reliability and permanency of love itself.
Well, this overview could go on another thousand words or more – but I’m beginning to realize I haven’t quite managed to comb through the chaotic tangle of my thoughts despite my best efforts. I’m left with the feeling that I have outgrown all belief systems and let go of most personal expectations. I shall accept and process whatever comes my way with minimal fuss and performance anxiety – because in 2018 I have no pre-established standards to live up to, and no self-image I must defend or protect.
Bring on the tidal wave of change!
1 January 2018
An0maly the YouTube Jesus explains why he became a Trump supporter...
___________
*Less than six months after I wrote this, the entirely corrupt Barisan Nasional regime was overthrown in a shocking electoral defeat that occurred on 9 May 2018. Malaysia is now sailing in unchartered political waters with a new federal government for the first time since 1957... and thus far it certainly appears that the "nightmare of history" isn't quite over for a vast number of us (especially when it involves people's addiction to cultural imprints, religious beliefs and calcified traditions designed to disempower and enslave rather than enlighten and liberate)!
**Ahau has been stable since he began taking carbamezapine and in early 2018 his dosage was reduced by half, later to alternate days, and 100 mg now twice weekly.
[First posted 1 January 2018, reposted 8 December 2018, 28 August 2019 & 30 January 2024]
A possible walk-in phenomenon, perhaps, wherein a multidimensional entity (from beyond the 3D Matrix) has effectively fused with the human personality known as "Kit Leee" - or else Antares is a temporary User ID for surfing the zuvuya (what the Maya call the intergalactic, interdimensional memory network). All names, all labels, are essentially part of the return journey to our original and ultimate Ineffability (meaning, the perfect state of Namelessness, or the Tao).
Music is among the major sources of pleasure for me - whether making it or merely listening. The word derives from "Muse" (inspiration, being moved by Spirit) - which shows how crucial music is to raising our consciousness, lifting our spirits, sensitizing us to aesthetics (the appreciation of beauty, harmony, truth). Furthermore, music can only occur in real time - and is therefore the most elegant way to experience and enjoy Time. My musical taste is what you might call "eclectic" - I am attracted to the singer, not the song; in other words, if the musician/performer has integrity and originality of expression, I find it appealing. I am not particularly interested in musical genres, as such. If a piece of music inspires me, it matters little whether it is classified jazz or classics or pop or avant-garde.
