Steve Hillage: From Hurdy Gurdy Man To Techno-Trance Wizard (repost)

Steve Hillage's "Hurdy Gurdy Man" - Live at Otto Hahn Schule, Benberg, 1977

I first came to know of Steve Hillage when he was part of the incomparable and indestructible Gong, circa 1973. Noted for his ethereal, bluesy, ecstatically lyrical guitarwork and near lightspeed arpeggios (which someone described as "paint blistering"), Hillage also had a distinctly angelic aura that made him look and sound like a funky Jesus on acid.

When he began producing solo albums, Hillage brought part of the trance-inducing Gong sound with him - but focused more on the metaphysical and theosophical elements rather than on the pataphysical.

While with Gong he met and connected with Miquette Giraudy (synth and vocals). Steve and Miquette have been partners and collaborators since those heady days with Gong. They have been featured guests on many landmark recordings, among the most notable of which is undoubtedly Cyrille Verdeaux's 1975 epic, Clearlight Symphony.

In the late 1970s and early 1980s, musical trends moved towards punk and lounge lizard chic - and Steve Hillage found himself producing younger bands like Simple Minds and Murray Head.

By 1989, Hillage and Giraudy had begun jamming with DJs and techno-trance music producers. They enjoyed it enough to form a group called System 7 (inspired by the Macintosh Operating System then in vogue) which focuses on techno-trance and ambient dance music augmented by live musicians. They also have a record company called A-wave (check out some MP3 samples on their site). Click here for a complete discography.


Activation Meditation: The Glorious OM Riff

Steve Hillage and Miquette Giraudy (System 7 live at the Sonic Rock Festival, Lincolnshire, 2005)


Musick of the Trees (1978)

Giraudy & Hillage: Why get married
when you can make beautiful music together


[First posted 24 June 2007, reposted 28 August 2017]

Musings on the momentous date, August 31st... (repost)

The Nuclear Family in 2013

Every time August 31st rolls around I am reminded of two things. The more significant event of the two, of course, is my very first fuck.

At 14 or 15 I was still wearing stripes & checks

I mean, with a woman. A digression is necessary: you see, at 15 I had ventured, with a few classmates, to Singapore's infamous Bugis Street, where we had decided to collectively put paid to our virginity. The middle-aged hooker I engaged for my initiation into malehood looked fairly attractive in the low-wattage lighting, but when we removed our clothes I noticed she possessed a rudimentary penis. She seemed enthusiastic enough - and who wouldn't be delighted to get paid to fiddle around with a cute 15-year-old, unless they're compulsive virtue-signalers? The scientist in me took charge of the situation and decided that an experience is, after all, an experience.

Besides, I didn't have the nerve to demand my money back and couldn't afford to go shopping elsewhere. After some 20 minutes of awkward fumbling around I thanked "her" and got dressed. I didn't ask my friends if they had had a similar "initiation." We were all too embarrassed by the whole excursion and never spoke about it again.

Beloved mother of my two lovely girls

Coming back to my first fuck. For three whole years I had been courting a feisty, flirtatious femme two years my senior. We maintained an increasingly passionate and playful correspondence while she was at university and I was in New Jersey as an exchange student. Upon my return in early August 1968, she wrote and told me she would be in Singapore on a geography field trip and would be free on August 31st to meet me for a hot date.

Now why does Singapore feature so prominently in every erotic initiation I can recall? Could it be the Merlion Singapore has chosen as its national totem, which combines Leonine and Piscean qualities - masculine rationality (lion) with feminine intuition (dolphin)?

Soulful reunion in 2016

Well, the date August 31st will always symbolize a pivotal moment in my life, a rite of passage, when I not only experienced the exquisite pleasure of being fully plugged into the sacred feminine, the holy of holies, but also claimed my adulthood by becoming a father to my first daughter.

Which explains why my earlier plan to study filmmaking in UCLA, California, had to be scuttled. But 25 years down the line, my second daughter graduated summa cum laude from TCU, Texas, with a filmmaking degree. She also fulfilled my desire to marry a German and produce gorgeous babies, but that's another story.

So for me the 31st of August will always represent a major life initiation, totally unexpected but gratefully embraced. How could I not rejoice to be father of two exceptionally beautiful, honest, and accomplished women who have bestowed quintuple datukships on me?

All grown up, my beautiful girls & their amazing mama

Daughter #1 with her 2 sweeties

As for the other thing, national independence, I must confess I have been indelibly imprinted with the thoughts of Kurt Vonnegut who introduced me to Bokononism in his 1963 novel, Cat's Cradle, wherein he distinguished between two categories of social bonding: the Granfalloon and the Karass. (I suggest you read Gregory Macnamee's instructive essay "On Vonnegut's Karass vs. Granfalloon" for a fuller understanding of this important distinction.) If you can't be bothered to look it up, I shall attempt to paraphrase Vonnegut's definition of a Granfalloon - which is precisely what every nation-state, football club, old boys' association, or ethnic grouping actually is: an assembly of humans drawn together by a common delusion - that there is "strength in numbers" and that people can feel united through loyalty to some corporate brand name or logo.

A Karass, on the other hand, is what Vonnegut calls a true soul family, drawn together by natural affinities and a deep sense of kinship beyond appearances and ideological constructs.

Daughter #2 with her 3 sweeties

It goes without saying that I have never been fond of Granfalloons nor will I ever be. Therefore the thought of celebrating something as meaningless as a brand name (Malaysia, Indonesia, Singapore, Great Britain, America, Estonia, Afghanistan, Transylvania) and a corporate logo (Jalur Gemilang, Stars and Stripes or Union Jack) simply makes me chortle till I churn up some loose spittle or awaken a clump of mucus from its slumber.

Go ahead, folks, and wave those plastic flags. It really makes no difference to me if they are emblazoned with a giant M (for Mahathir, Mekdi or McDonald's), a cluster of stars, a few stripes, a maple leaf, a stylized axolotl, or a Mandelbrot Set. Corporations and corporate-states are essentially social engineering constructs, ant-colonies, beehives, designed to gather and accumulate energy (the sweet stuff) for those who commissioned and invested in the project. They may appear to be almighty, indomitable, and indestructibly totalitarian - until you catch a glimpse of colossal ruins such as you will find in Göbekli Tepe, Egypt, Rome, Cambodia, Peru. And here I am reminded of visionary historian William Irwin Thompson's classic observation:

"Civilizations, like the penis, rise and fall, and when the towers and battlements crumble into the earth, they return to the embrace of the Great Mother."

Antares Maitreya

31 August 2019

[First posted 31 August 2019]

Merdeka Message from My #2 Daughter (repost)

Photo by Marcus 

"HAPPY INNER PENANCE DAY TO ALL!"

Received this text message from my #2 daughter Belle on the eve of Merdeka. When I asked her if it was a Belle original, she immediately replied, "Of course!" Just felt like sharing this meaningful Merdeka message with all my friends and loved ones 😂❤️👌

[Originally posted 31 August 2009]

WHAT MY HEART TRULY DESIRES (updated)

1. That Joy and Freedom and Love and Abundance be restored as the keynote features of Life on Earth - and throughout the Cosmos.

2. That my family, my friends and I shall effortlessly draw to ourselves a neverending flow of material and spiritual well-being; and nevermore be in need, nor suffer scarcity.

3. That good health and unbounded wealth, in every form, be ours to enjoy - and that prosperity will continue to increase and facilitate great happiness and pleasure, benefiting an ever widening circle of other beings.


4. That the Love of My Life (in all her enchanting forms) will blossom into my Twin Flame as she yields to the inevitability and undeniability of our boundless passion for one another; that she will love me as deeply as I love her (no matter what form we happen to inhabit) and be inspired to evolve to hitherto unknown levels of awareness, intelligence, power and wisdom.


5. That I will be inspired, motivated, and ably assisted each day to be a conduit of Beauty, Truth and Wisdom in all the things I do - which I shall do with utmost pleasure, joy and masterful ease.

6. That all souls - incarnate and disincarnate - will successfully fulfil their evolutionary potential and destiny, and participate gratefully in perpetual celebration of Life... Life in all its endless mystery, wonder, and exquisite beauty.

7. That all previous conflicts be experienced as Dynamic Tensions necessary to the completion of the Human Experience; and that henceforth all sentient souls shall awaken to the Infinite Glory and Absolute Perfection of Creation in all its multidimensional and kaleidoscopic variety.

I unearthed this memo I wrote to myself several years ago and decided to share it with everybody as a blogpost. First posted 5 May 2013, reposted 21 August 2017.

Eckhart Tolle's POWER OF NOW animated summary

Published June 6, 2020

The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle - The concepts in this book can come across as very simple, but don’t let that trick you into dismissing them without any contemplation. These concepts, although simple, are profound. The Power of Now gets into some deep stuff that needs to be reflected on way beyond a short video summary. With that said, keep an open mind going into this. You may get an initial reaction to resist what this book teaches, but just put your opinions and judgments to the side for a few minutes and consider the possibilities. 

Wisdom for Life

Just a harmless bit of reminiscing with Uncle Frank...

THE OCEAN IS THE ULTIMATE SOLUTION... turn up the volume!

Illinois Enema Bandit (Frank Zappa, 1976)

The Illinois Enema Bandit
I heard he's on the loose
I heard he's on the loose
Lord, the pitiful screams
Of all them college-educated women...
Boy, he'd just be tyin' 'em up
(They'd be all bound down!)
Just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
The Illinois Enema Bandit
I heard it on the news
I heard it on the news

Bloomington Illinois... he has caused some alarm
Just sneakin' around there
From farm to farm
Got a rubberized bag
And a hose on his arm
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump

The Illinois Enema Bandit
One day he'll have to pay
One day he'll have to pay
The police will say, "You're under arrest!"
And the judge would have him for a special guest
The D.A. will order a secret test
And stuff his pudgy little thumbs in the side of his vest
Then they'll put out a call for the jury folks
And the judge would say, "No poo-poo jokes!"
Then they'll drag in the bandit for all to see,
Sayin' "Don't nobody have no sympathy...
HOT SOAP WATER in the FIRST DEGREE!"
And then the bandit might say, "Why is everybody looking' at me?"
WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY?
WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS KINDA MISERY?
WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY?
Now, one girl shout: "Let the Bandit be!"
BANDIT ARE YOU GUILTY?
BANDIT ARE YOU GUILTY? TELL ME NOW, WHAT'S
YOUR PLEA?
Another girl shout: "Let the fiend go free!"
ARE YOU GUILTY? BANDIT, DID YOU DO THESE DEEDS?
The Bandit say, "It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."

The police will say, "You're under arrest!"
And the judge would have him for a special guest
The D.A. will order a secret test
And stuff his pudgy little thumbs in the side of his vest
Then they'll put out a call for the jury folks
And the judge would say, "No poo-poo jokes!"
Then they'll drag in the bandit for all to see,
Sayin' "Don't nobody have no sympathy...
HOT SOAP WATER in the FIRST DEGREE!"
And then the bandit might say, "Why is everybody looking' at me?"
WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY?
WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS KINDA MISERY?
WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY?
Now, one girl shout: "Let the Bandit be!"
BANDIT ARE YOU GUILTY?
BANDIT ARE YOU GUILTY? TELL ME NOW, WHAT'S
YOUR PLEA?
Another girl shout: "Let the fiend go free!"
ARE YOU GUILTY? BANDIT, DID YOU DO THESE DEEDS?
The Bandit say, "It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."


[This post was inspired by a facebook comment left by Solo Goodspeed - check him out, he's veritably the Return of the Son of Monster Magnet! First uploaded 8 October 2012, reposted 15 August 2015]

Umno, you are hereby sentenced to death by ridicule (again!)

PLEASE DON'T OFFEND ME...
I'M A REAL SENSITIVE GUY!

I was alerted by a facebook message from a friend that my blog had been blocked. True enough, I discovered Umno cybertroopers had been at it again!

Fuckwits. Bodoh betul!

YOU DON'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT FORCES YOU'RE DEALING WITH.

Try your nonsense one more time and I shall

DELETE YOUR PAST AND YOUR FUTURE.

I kid you not.


[First posted 12 August 2009]

Oh Yes I Support Malaysian Authors 😍 (repost)

May Lee (a well-named marketing executive at MPH) welcomes me to the
Malaysian Authors' High Tea at MPH 1 Utama

Whenever I manage to get a book published I'm fashionable for at least six months. I've been getting invites from MPH to appear in the Merdeka issue of Quill, their in-house magazine; last Saturday there was this forum hosted by MPH on where Malaysia's book industry is heading (don't know why, but the word "industry" makes me shudder).

And next week (3-4 PM on Sunday, September 9th) I'll be giving a short talk on "Mythology in the Digital Age" at MPH Mid-Valley (to which everybody is cordially invited - pick up a copy of Tanah Tujuh and I'll happily scribble on the title page!)

At Saturday's Malaysian Authors Forum I found myself sitting behind Rehman Rashid, whom I hadn't seen in... well, quite a while.

Rehman was his usual larger-than-life comic-book Titan self. It was good to see somebody familiar in that room full of unknown faces (quite a few very prettily framed in designer hijabs). Maybe there are more Malaysians writing books than those actually reading them?

First-time novelist Kam Raslan was conspicuously absent - but I guess his book is doing well enough (a brilliant read, by the way, if you haven't picked up a copy of Confessions of an Old Boy: The Dato' Hamid Adventures).

There was talk of getting all Malaysian authors to form themselves into a guild. Apparently this may be the only way we'll ever break through the protective walls surrounding the literary game in the UK and the US (where the big money presumably is). Only as a organized collective will Malaysian authors have sufficient clout to set up their own literary agency and send representatives to hobnob with the movers and shakers. That's roughly what it takes to break into the global book market, according to those in the know.

I'm not much of a joiner myself - and I doubt if many writers are. Writing books is pretty much the domain of solitary types who enjoy the quietude and tranquility of the graveyard shift. Even if we do manage, out of pure self-interest, to assemble all at once and form ourselves into the semblance of a guild, it's almost a foregone conclusion that the administrative aspects will have to be farmed out to more pragmatic minds. In the end, the writers guild will most likely be hijacked by the few natural-born hustlers amongst us who get a real buzz out of entrepreneurial exertions.

In any case I can't help wondering what a Malaysian - brought up to be polite and face-giving and acutely conscious of other people's sensitivities - might have to say to the world at large. Since we've been told from a tender age never to use swear words or make fun of others - and that it's an absolute no-no to ever speak ill of VVIPs or even mention crooked judges and corrupt ministers - will we end up churning out cook book after cook book? After all, food is undeniably our unifying passion.

That's right, in Malaysia we're very good at cari makan - not cari makna!*

And yet, Malaysians have gained worldwide notoriety for three things: destroying forests by exporting loggers, committing credit card fraud with impunity, and using abusive language and venting unmitigated rage on web forums. Maybe e-publishing is what we ought to stick with?

Literary blogger Chet accosted me while I was assuaging my hunger with a few hastily swallowed curry puffs and introduced me to a svelte young lady named Choong Kwee Kim who recently published her first illustrated children's book - Ah Fu, The Rickshaw Coolie. What to do, I had to buy a copy for my grandson Max who turned seven on August 28th. Of course, I read it before wrapping it up. Excellent drawings, lovely story, Kwee Kim, very well done indeed!

-----------
*Trans: cari makan = look for food (earn our keep); cari makna = look for meaning (quest for self-knowledge)

[First posted 30 August 2007]

The Owl and the Pussy-Cat by Edward Lear (1812~1888)

The Owl and the Pussy-Cat went to sea

   In a beautiful pea-green boat:

They took some honey, and plenty of money

   Wrapped up in a five-pound note.

The Owl looked up to the stars above,

   And sang to a small guitar,

"O lovely Pussy, O Pussy, my love,

   What a beautiful Pussy you are,

            You are,

            You are!

   What a beautiful Pussy you are!"

Pussy said to the Owl, "You elegant fowl,

   How charmingly sweet you sing!

Oh! let us be married; too long we have tarried,

   But what shall we do for a ring?"

They sailed away, for a year and a day,

To the land where the bong-tree grows;

And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood,

   With a ring at the end of his nose,

            His nose,

            His nose,

   With a ring at the end of his nose.

"Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling

   Your ring?" Said the Piggy, "I will."

So they took it away, and were married next day

   By the turkey who lives on the hill.

They dined on mince and slices of quince,

   Which they ate with a runcible spoon;

And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,

   They danced by the light of the moon,

            The moon,

            The moon,

   They danced by the light of the moon.

ANWAR: A MAN OF EXTRAORDINARY DESTINY (repost)

It never ceases to amaze me when perfectly intelligent folk keep parroting unoriginal notions acquired from coffeeshop gossip and loose talk over a few beers. How many times have I been told by those supposedly in the know that “Anwar can’t be trusted. He’s a chameleon.”

Dammit… look at that bunch of utter nincompoops strutting around the corridors of power today: anal-retentive Umno stereotypes like Abdullah Badawi, Najib Razak, Tengku Adnan Tengku Mansor, Syed Hamid Albar, Muhammad Muhammad Taib, and Khir Toyo… DO YOU TRUST THESE CREATURES? They can’t even speak in public without sounding like robots or reading from scripts! Anwar is human and passionate and you can sense a burning intelligence in his eyes.

Okay, back in the mid-1970s when I first read about this hotheaded leader of ABIM (Muslim Youth Movement), I went ho-hum. Back then Anwar Ibrahim was your archetypal ethnocentric nationalist sporting the mujahideen goatee - but at least he was outspoken on issues affecting the rural poor, and that got him into jail. Seeing his leadership potential, Mahathir persuaded Anwar to join Umno and got him spewing forth the expected foam about bangsa and ugama. I confess that in 1989 I actually did a caricature of him and labeled it "Anal Ibrim" little suspecting that within a decade Anwar would be plagued by that very word. And I'm still troubled by a rumor I once heard, naming Anwar Ibrahim as the minister who came up with the wicked idea to convert the dysfunctional Jabatan Hal Ehwal Orang Asli (Orang Asli Affairs Department) into a tool for converting the Orang Asli to Islam and assimilating them into the Malay mainstream.

Well, I don't know if there's any truth to that accusation - but even if it were true, that was back in 1990, and the man has suffered six years in prison for that reprehensible gaffe. You could say Anwar has paid all his karmic dues. Let's delete Anwar's slightly murky past when he was Umno deputy president and Dr M's hand-picked protégé, and take a closer look at what happened around the time of the currency depreciation in mid-1997. A bunch of young Turks in Umno were pushing Anwar to the forefront as a potential heir to the throne, goading him to attack Mahathir on the corruption front, the old man's weak underbelly. The Mamak didn't like that one bit - and neither did his former finance minister, Daim Zainuddin. Anwar was given the option to hand in his resignation - or face extreme vilification and political damnation.

Anwar, unlike other DPMs, refused to yield to Mahathir’s awesome might and megalomaniacal ego. Anwar fought back when he could have cut his losses by taking up a diplomatic or academic post abroad, returning quietly to the Umno fold a few years later like Musa Hitam.

On September 2nd, 1998, Anwar Ibrahim underwent a radical transformation from Umno bigwig to political renegade - he literally took on the mantle of a messianic cult hero when Malaysia urgently required one. I’ve watched him closely since his sacking and subsequent arrest - and he has performed impeccably as a spiritual warrior and icon of righteous resistance. Over six years of incarceration Anwar maintained his dignity, focus, perseverance and humanity - and that’s when the beautiful, strong women in his life rose to the occasion.

No man who has seen his wife and daughter go through so much on his behalf would ever behave like a male chauvinist pig; he would have a healthy respect for the feminine principle. This is what I see in Anwar and that is why I have publicly hailed him as Malaysia’s best hope at this critical juncture in our political evolution.

Anwar has every quality that marks him as a man of extraordinary destiny. I trust him as much as I trust myself - and because I fear him not, I would walk up to him and tell him to his face if ever I felt he was turning into a tyrant. As a former victim of Dr M's tyranny, Anwar would never want to go down that ignominious road.

In 2001 while overnighting at a friend's house, I flipped through a copy of Anwar Ibrahim's Asian Renaissance I found in his library. Anwar came across as somebody I could imagine having a damn good conversation with on a one-to-one basis. But what most impressed me and turned my views around on politicians in general and Anwar in particular - was the bibliography at the end of the book which listed - among a broad spectrum of classics including the sublime poetry of Rabindranath Tagore - the Tao Te Ching. Now, anybody who can claim to have read that supreme masterpiece in pithy, organic wisdom is welcome in my household anytime. And if he decides to run for high political office, I'd put my money on him. These are no ordinary times we are living in. Successfully navigating the uncharted political seas immediately ahead calls for an extraordinary helmsman - one who has survived the worst storms!

[Here's an inspiring perspective on Anwar Ibrahim by Charles R. Avila that was uploaded today on Din Merican's blog.]

APPENDIX A

Wednesday, 30 July 2008

THE CORRIDORS OF POWER
Malaysia Today

At 2.30pm on Wednesday, 25 June 2008, Senior Assistant Commissioner (SAC) II Mohd Rodwan Mohd Yusof met Mohd Saiful Bukhari Azlan in room 619 of the Concorde Hotel in Kuala Lumpur. Prior to this secret meeting, Rodwan and Saiful spoke on the phone at least eight (8) times.

Three days later, at 2.00pm on 28 June 2008, Saiful went to see Dr Mohamed Osman Abdul Hamid of the Hospital Pusrawi to ‘complain’ that he had been sodomised by ‘a very important person’ and that he wished to lodge a police report. The doctor, however, found no traces or evidence that he had been sodomised and suggested, for purposes of the police report, that Saiful go to a government hospital.

Who is Rodwan, other than the fact that he works for the IGP and is known as the police chief’s bagman and go-between with the organised crime syndicate that controls all the drugs, prostitution, loan-sharking and gambling rackets? Well, read the following archived reports to get a better understanding of this scumbag and slime-ball named Rodwan. Maybe then you can understand why he met Saiful in a hotel room three days before the sodomy allegation against Anwar Ibrahim exploded.

APPENDIX B

This comment was posted 30 July 2008 on Susan Loone’s blog:

Susan,

I would like to write the following statement in the name of GOD whom I believe.

I am a government doctor in the rank of consultant working in Hospital Kuala Lumpur (HKL). I know personally the doctors who examined Saiful on that day - 28 June 2008.

The so-called medical report mentioned in the NST is a fabrication or imagination by the UMNO paper. There is no such medical report submitted to the polis yet.

When examining Saiful, the specialist could not find any signs of Saiful being sodomised. Saiful was very cheerful, unlike real sodomised patients who will usually be very sad and disturbed.

Saiful was subsequently admitted to the ward and observed for a day. He was completely well in the ward and not emotionally disturbed.

Please let RPK know of this.

Thanks.

[First posted 30 July 2008] 

Two Wolves And A Sheep (reprise)

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. - James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)

If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress... But then I repeat myself. - Mark Twain

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. - Mark Twain


There is no distinctly Native American criminal class - save Congress. - Mark Twain


No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
- Mark Twain

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke


If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free! - P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian (1947 - )


I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. - Winston Churchill 


A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)


Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. - Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University (1968)

[This priceless collection of cogent quotes was sent to me by Jane D'Cruz. First posted 14 August 2007]

Forrest Gump explains Mortgage Backed Securities... again!

Mortgage Backed Securities are like boxes of chocolates. Criminals on Wall Street stole a few chocolates from the boxes and replaced them with turds. Their criminal buddies at Standard & Poor rated these boxes AAA Investment Grade chocolates. These boxes were then sold all over the world to investors.

Eventually somebody bites into a turd and discovers the crime. Suddenly nobody trusts American chocolates anymore worldwide.

Hank Paulson now wants the American taxpayers to buy up and hold all these boxes of turd-infested chocolates for $800 billion dollars until the market for turds returns to normal. Meanwhile, Hank's buddies, the Wall Street criminals who stole all the good chocolates are not being investigated, arrested, or indicted.

Mama always said: "Sniff the chocolates first, Forrest."

Now here's another classic story illustrating the evils of gambling and betting...

An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.

After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office. The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, "$165,000."

The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets.

The president was surprised and asked, "What kind of bets?"

The elderly woman replied, "Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square.'"

The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that. The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, "Would you like to take my bet?"

"Certainly," replied the president. "I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are NOT square.'"

"Done!" the elderly woman answered. "But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind, I would like to come back at 10 o' clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness."

"No problem." said the president of the Bank confidently.

That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his balls as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.

The next morning at exactly 10 o' clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square. The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants so that she and her lawyer could inspect his balls.

The president readily obliged, anticipating an unexpected windfall of $25,000.

The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch his balls.

"Of course," said the president. "Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure."


The elderly woman did so with a small smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, "Oh, it's probably because I bet him $125,000 that around 10 o' clock in the morning I would be fondling the balls of the President of the Bank of Canada."

[First published 27 November 2008, reposted 6 August 2012]

SUNDAY FUNNIES: The Genie and the Ostrich

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a Coke," and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a Coke."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potatoes and a salad," says the man.

"Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers: "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say."













[Forwarded by Jason Rao. First posted 27 July 2008]

Cross Dressing, Anyone? (worth another reprise)

In 1998 my friend Ray Langenbach initiated a "religious exchange" program wherein he undertook to embrace the belief system, no matter how weird, of anyone willing to embark on the experiment. He sent me a questionnaire and requested that I fill it out. At an appointed time and date we sent each other our questionnaires. When I read Ray's I burst out laughing, because we shared almost identical beliefs - except he's an academic and writes kinda funny. Below is the email I sent Ray...

Subject: Cross Dressing, Anyone?
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1998 00:20:45 -0700
From: Antares
Organization: Magick River
To: Ray Langenbach

1. Your religious beliefs.

You can choose OPTION A, OPTION B OR OPTION C (OR ALL OF THEM):

OPTION A: "Scientific Pantheism" as a belief system. Very briefly, Scientific Pantheism postulates that a Universal Force or Spirit underlies and overlights all phenomena, and our "religious duty" mainly consists in gaining an ever clearer and deeper understanding of the Mystery, the Unknown, by using the tools of our intellect - language, mathematics, art, music, dance, and reason - for to know (and understand) is to appreciate and love, and to love and appreciate is the only service required of all conscious entities.

2. Describe any rituals to be performed, and when they must be performed, what must be said, what must be in the mind at the time, any prayers, how often, any taboo foods, words, actions, sexual practices, thoughts etc.

In Scientific Pantheism, rituals are optional. However, a few personal rituals I favor are those performed in acknowledgment of our vital relationship to the Earth, the Moon, the Sun, and the Stars.

EARTH RITUAL essentially consists of resensitizing oneself to the magnetic field of our planet; recognizing that human industrial and military activities have a deleterious effect on the integrity of the geomagnetic field; and that as conscious individuals we can help reharmonize the field by aligning our own bio-energetic fields with that of the Earth, which may be perceived as the Great Mother of Life. This ritual can be performed by remembering to breathe deeply and slowly while visualizing a continuous flow of prana or ch'i through our biomagnetic field (which may be visualized as a doughnut-shaped "tube torus" energized by prana and rooted within the earth's central core, with the opposite pole extending outwards all the way to the nearest source of light, the Sun). As we perform this ritual, it is necessary to focus on our heart chakra (our compassion centre), letting it open to the max and infusing the pranic flow with ecstatic, unconditional, non-judgmental love.

MOON RITUAL: Taking note of life rhythms as they are affected by the phases of the Moon. Basking in the glow of the full moon in celebration of Beauty, Truth, and the Eternal Mystery of Life; tuning inward at each new moon, reassessing our life path, and refocusing on our personal goals/missions.

SUN RITUAL: Observing equinoctial and solstitial dates, opening our hearts and minds to the life-sustaining power of the Solar/Stellar Light, which permeates our bio-energetic fields as photons.

No specific food or sexual taboos... but in accordance with the Law of the Universal Food Chain, "Everything Eats and All Is Edible!" ... a practising Scientific Pantheist will regard each meal, each sexual encounter, as a fusion of energy fields - and therefore a true act of worship. Each experience of lifeforce exchange or transfusion is thus perceived as a holy (or whole-making) act, consecrated to what Einstein called "the Grand Unified Field."

3. Describe your cosmology, that is how reality or the world as we know it came into being.

This is a tough one! But the Hologram Model of Reality serves us best... 

Hermeticists quote the formula, "As above, so below." Our current understanding of Fractal Geometry and Hologram Theory prompts us to say: "As within the Micro, so throughout the Macro!" OR: "As within, so without!" In effect, inner and outer space are as concave and convex surfaces of a sphere, which is the prime geometric form of existence in this waveform universe. 

All forms are understood as permutations of the Sphere within which the five "Platonic solids" - the tetrahedron, octahedron, hexahedron, icosahedron, and dodecahedron - interact in a bi-polar dance of line and curve, yin and yang, male and female, electricity and magnetism. In effect, the World we see around us, the Cosmos surrounding us, has its correlation with an esoteric or inner reality accessed not via the outer senses but through establishing and sustaining a state of contemplative receptivity. 

There is a paradox which needs to be accepted: just as an electron can be a wave or a particle (physicists are now calling this paradox a "wavicle") - Universe is created and NOT created, depending on the specific frequency zone from which one is "viewing" it. This paradox applies to the perception of time - which can be linear (where Past, Present, Future exist) or spherical (where only Eternity reigns). In effect, both these statements may be accepted as "true":

GOD IS ONE
ONE IS GOD

(However, Scientific Pantheism tends to avoid using hackneyed terms such as "God" unless absolutely necessary.)

OPTION B: No beliefs. Only complete trust in the absolute perfection and wisdom of All That Is and Isn't. No rituals except the comfortable habits that get us through each day, e.g., brushing teeth, having breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner; the occasional indulgence, be it tobacco, alcohol, marijuana, or sexual gratification. No taboos. An easy option.

OPTION C: I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Lowest and the Highest, the One and the All. Sometimes I forget - hence the apparent mess we call Life. No specific beliefs - except that Life is a great deal neater when I remember who and what I truly am. No rituals - except conscious remembrance of my original and ultimate state of being and non-being. No taboos - except lying to myself (which of course includes everyone else).

4. Any other beliefs or actions that are important for someone who is to take on your beliefs.

Hmmm... can't think of any right now - but I'll let you know if something comes to mind. Or if I feel like making a few more up.

[First posted 1 March 2007, reposted 20 September 2014, 2 November 2016 & 21 June 2021]

THE PANTHEIST MANIFESTO (Revisited Yet Again)

Annunciation - Mati Klarwein - 1961 - 128 x 88 cm

I CLEARLY REMEMBER that life was a great deal simpler a few decades ago... especially in the 1960s when I was a curious-minded adolescent interested in just about everything, especially the Mysteries. In those days, it was so exciting to read about Egyptian, Andean and Trans-Himalayan Mystery Schools, ascended masters, alchemists, wizards, spiritual hierarchies, Sufi networks, Templar secrets, and whatnot!

Names like St. Germain, Djwhal Khul, Koot Hoomi, Rakoczi, and Morya fired my imagination. When I was 15 or 16 I hungrily devoured books by Lobsang Rampa, Dion Fortune and Dennis Wheatley. Pauwels & Bergier's Morning of the Magicians was a sort of bible to me. Richard Kieninger, writing as Eklal Kueshana, described his stellar initiations in The Ultimate Frontier and invited readers to join his Stelle Community based outside Chicago. I actually wrote to them and they sent me a membership form (which I never filled).

Jane Roberts came out with her Seth books and corroborated many private notions. I longed to be tapped on the shoulder by a beggar on the street who, with a merry twinkle in his eye, would reveal that he was an emissary of some Invisible Brotherhood that had been in existence for thousands of years as Keepers of the Sacred Flame... you know, the sort of Dr Strange comicbook stuff that folks like Drunvalo Melchizedek and Jimmy Twyman report. In short, the 'New Age' was NEVER all that "new" to me - esoteric knowledge was something I grew up on.

Hollywood celebrities like Shirley Maclaine came out of the closet with mystical books (Out on a Limb); box-office stars like John Travolta declared their faith in Scientology; and even country-&-western singers like John Denver got involved with dadfangled new therapies like EST, just as John & Yoko had popularized Arthur Janov's Primal Scream.

And we mustn't forget how the Beatles (and Mia Farrow) had promoted Transcendental Meditation with their visits to the Maharishi's ashram. More recently, author-teachers like James Redfield (The Celestine Prophecy) and Neale Donald Walsch (Conversations With God) broke into the mainstream with their best-selling books and infected millions with a newfound optimism and holographic perception.

Many of us will recall the excitement of discovering that there may be a great deal more to existence than meets the egocentric "I" - that angels, cherubim and seraphim, space brothers and sisters, Venusian bombshells and Arcturian crystal healers might ACTUALLY exist.

And when did I first come across that evocative word, "Pleiades"? I never felt 100% comfortable with the idea of "Sirius" - for some strange reason.

Then there was the widespread buzz over the Zeta Reticulan Greys and John A. Keel's famous Mothmen. In 1991 a muse goddess loaned me a book by Solara and I was introduced to the mysterious Og-Min (which spawned a small collection of Og-Min jokes, e.g., Bog-Minster Fuller of the Intergalactic Og-Ministration :-)... Nibiru and the Anunnaki was a fairly new discovery... perhaps within the last 10 years, after I got plugged in on the WorldWideWeb and had access to more information in a week than I used to have in years.

My point is this: were all my "peak experiences" - times when I felt fully reconnected to Source and at-one with All That Is - simply the synergetic result of my years of reading, thinking, and arcane research?

Do Catholic girls have visions of Jesus and the Blessed Virgin Mary simply because they were raised on this specific pantheon? Does a Hindu carrying the kavadi at Thaipusam inevitably receive messages of healing and succor from Lord Murugan - or might Kwan Yin, Kryon, or Amaterasu come to him instead? Did Mother Teresa model herself after Amaterasu?

And how do Obama, Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Blair, Queen E, MJ-12, MI6, Mossad, MK-Ultra, Najib Razak, the Mafia and the Reptilians fit into this dense and elaborate scenario? Are we still playing Cozmik Cowboys 'n' Injuns? Where is Inspector John Lee of the Nova Police when we need him? Has anyone heard from Uranium Willy and the Heavy Metal Kid of late?

Believe me, I've had FAR-OUT experiences since the age of 19. Once, in 1972, Jimi Hendrix materialized briefly in my garden looking like a Mayan galactic navigator (or was it just a side-effect of the psilocybin mushrooms?) I used to have extended telepathic conversations with Frank Zappa, whom I perceived as Intelligence Incarnate. Lest anyone think I only traffic with the Rich 'n' Famous, I occasionally hobnob with garbage bins and lampposts, even toilet brushes - not to mention trees, grasshoppers, and garden shrubs. Does this make me a candidate for the Cuckoo's Nest? Or am I simply way too eclectic in my scientific pantheism?

I've explored tantric yoga and vegetarianism, Rosicrucianism, Enochian magick, Crowley, Gurdjieff, Wilhelm Reich, Tim Leary, John Lilly, Terence McKenna, the Kabbala, sacred geometry, and the Flower of Life.

And now Asha Deane is saying that the Alpha-Omega Melchizedek Order (of which Drunvalo claims membership) is behind a nasty plot to get people to activate their Merkabas in reverse, so that Fallen Angelic Hierarchies can take over their souls! Jim Hurtak is really an Illuminati agent channeling the naughty Jehovian Elohim via his Keys of Enoch. However, Enoch himself is cool and doing his darndest to remain neutral in the Final Conflict between Light and Dark.... Hmmmm.

In truth, I am utterly bewildered by all this metaphysical shit flying around. Some say we must transcend to ascend. Others insist we must get involved on the social and political levels - or lose our genetic inheritance to evil extradimensional parasites. However, I do have a mathematical constant to which I can refer when feeling disoriented: my innermost core is none other than Source Itself!

All that peripheral detail is just an entertaining spin-off from allowing a random factor into the permutation process that makes manifestation possible. No matter what belief system I take a temporary fancy to - or to use a more organic analogy, no matter which philosophical Playboy Playmate I pick as my flavor-of-the-month - I know that what I'm all about is LOVE. Even in my grouchiest state on the worst bad-hair day, I am centered in Universal Love, Compassion, and the Unending Quest for Pure Meaning and Perfect Harmony.

And that is ultimately all anyone needs to be. The rest is just subscription TV with an infinite choice of channels (pun fully intended).

Written 10 May 2003 & published in Magick River's lunatic fringe e-zine, The Moon. First posted 7 January 2009, reposted 16 May 2014 & 15 August 2015.