Saturday, August 19, 2023

Just a harmless bit of reminiscing with Uncle Frank...



THE OCEAN IS THE ULTIMATE SOLUTION... turn up the volume!





Illinois Enema Bandit (Frank Zappa, 1976)

The Illinois Enema Bandit
I heard he's on the loose
I heard he's on the loose
Lord, the pitiful screams
Of all them college-educated women...
Boy, he'd just be tyin' 'em up
(They'd be all bound down!)
Just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
The Illinois Enema Bandit
I heard it on the news
I heard it on the news

Bloomington Illinois... he has caused some alarm
Just sneakin' around there
From farm to farm
Got a rubberized bag
And a hose on his arm
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump

The Illinois Enema Bandit
One day he'll have to pay
One day he'll have to pay
The police will say, "You're under arrest!"
And the judge would have him for a special guest
The D.A. will order a secret test
And stuff his pudgy little thumbs in the side of his vest
Then they'll put out a call for the jury folks
And the judge would say, "No poo-poo jokes!"
Then they'll drag in the bandit for all to see,
Sayin' "Don't nobody have no sympathy...
HOT SOAP WATER in the FIRST DEGREE!"
And then the bandit might say, "Why is everybody looking' at me?"
WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY?
WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS KINDA MISERY?
WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY?
Now, one girl shout: "Let the Bandit be!"
BANDIT ARE YOU GUILTY?
BANDIT ARE YOU GUILTY? TELL ME NOW, WHAT'S
YOUR PLEA?
Another girl shout: "Let the fiend go free!"
ARE YOU GUILTY? BANDIT, DID YOU DO THESE DEEDS?
The Bandit say, "It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."

The police will say, "You're under arrest!"
And the judge would have him for a special guest
The D.A. will order a secret test
And stuff his pudgy little thumbs in the side of his vest
Then they'll put out a call for the jury folks
And the judge would say, "No poo-poo jokes!"
Then they'll drag in the bandit for all to see,
Sayin' "Don't nobody have no sympathy...
HOT SOAP WATER in the FIRST DEGREE!"
And then the bandit might say, "Why is everybody looking' at me?"
WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY?
WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS KINDA MISERY?
WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY?
Now, one girl shout: "Let the Bandit be!"
BANDIT ARE YOU GUILTY?
BANDIT ARE YOU GUILTY? TELL ME NOW, WHAT'S
YOUR PLEA?
Another girl shout: "Let the fiend go free!"
ARE YOU GUILTY? BANDIT, DID YOU DO THESE DEEDS?
The Bandit say, "It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."


[This post was inspired by a facebook comment left by Solo Goodspeed - check him out, he's veritably the Return of the Son of Monster Magnet! First uploaded 8 October 2012, reposted 15 August 2015]


Friday, August 18, 2023

Umno, you are hereby sentenced to death by ridicule (again!)

PLEASE DON'T OFFEND ME...
I'M A REAL SENSITIVE GUY!


I was alerted by a facebook message from a friend that my blog had been blocked. True enough, I discovered Umno cybertroopers had been at it again!

Fuckwits. Bodoh betul!

YOU DON'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT FORCES YOU'RE DEALING WITH.

Try your nonsense one more time and I shall

DELETE YOUR PAST AND YOUR FUTURE.

I kid you not.


[First posted 12 August 2009]

Thursday, August 17, 2023

Oh Yes I Support Malaysian Authors 😍 (repost)

May Lee (a well-named marketing executive at MPH) welcomes me to the
Malaysian Authors' High Tea at MPH 1 Utama

Whenever I manage to get a book published I'm fashionable for at least six months. I've been getting invites from MPH to appear in the Merdeka issue of Quill, their in-house magazine; last Saturday there was this forum hosted by MPH on where Malaysia's book industry is heading (don't know why, but the word "industry" makes me shudder).

And next week (3-4 PM on Sunday, September 9th) I'll be giving a short talk on "Mythology in the Digital Age" at MPH Mid-Valley (to which everybody is cordially invited - pick up a copy of Tanah Tujuh and I'll happily scribble on the title page!)

At Saturday's Malaysian Authors Forum I found myself sitting behind Rehman Rashid, whom I hadn't seen in... well, quite a while.

Rehman was his usual larger-than-life comic-book Titan self. It was good to see somebody familiar in that room full of unknown faces (quite a few very prettily framed in designer hijabs). Maybe there are more Malaysians writing books than those actually reading them?

First-time novelist Kam Raslan was conspicuously absent - but I guess his book is doing well enough (a brilliant read, by the way, if you haven't picked up a copy of Confessions of an Old Boy: The Dato' Hamid Adventures).

There was talk of getting all Malaysian authors to form themselves into a guild. Apparently this may be the only way we'll ever break through the protective walls surrounding the literary game in the UK and the US (where the big money presumably is). Only as a organized collective will Malaysian authors have sufficient clout to set up their own literary agency and send representatives to hobnob with the movers and shakers. That's roughly what it takes to break into the global book market, according to those in the know.

I'm not much of a joiner myself - and I doubt if many writers are. Writing books is pretty much the domain of solitary types who enjoy the quietude and tranquility of the graveyard shift. Even if we do manage, out of pure self-interest, to assemble all at once and form ourselves into the semblance of a guild, it's almost a foregone conclusion that the administrative aspects will have to be farmed out to more pragmatic minds. In the end, the writers guild will most likely be hijacked by the few natural-born hustlers amongst us who get a real buzz out of entrepreneurial exertions.

In any case I can't help wondering what a Malaysian - brought up to be polite and face-giving and acutely conscious of other people's sensitivities - might have to say to the world at large. Since we've been told from a tender age never to use swear words or make fun of others - and that it's an absolute no-no to ever speak ill of VVIPs or even mention crooked judges and corrupt ministers - will we end up churning out cook book after cook book? After all, food is undeniably our unifying passion.

That's right, in Malaysia we're very good at cari makan - not cari makna!*

And yet, Malaysians have gained worldwide notoriety for three things: destroying forests by exporting loggers, committing credit card fraud with impunity, and using abusive language and venting unmitigated rage on web forums. Maybe e-publishing is what we ought to stick with?

Literary blogger Chet accosted me while I was assuaging my hunger with a few hastily swallowed curry puffs and introduced me to a svelte young lady named Choong Kwee Kim who recently published her first illustrated children's book - Ah Fu, The Rickshaw Coolie. What to do, I had to buy a copy for my grandson Max who turned seven on August 28th. Of course, I read it before wrapping it up. Excellent drawings, lovely story, Kwee Kim, very well done indeed!

-----------
*Trans: cari makan = look for food (earn our keep); cari makna = look for meaning (quest for self-knowledge)

[First posted 30 August 2007]

Sunday, August 13, 2023

The Owl and the Pussy-Cat by Edward Lear (1812~1888)


The Owl and the Pussy-Cat went to sea

   In a beautiful pea-green boat:

They took some honey, and plenty of money

   Wrapped up in a five-pound note.

The Owl looked up to the stars above,

   And sang to a small guitar,

"O lovely Pussy, O Pussy, my love,

   What a beautiful Pussy you are,

            You are,

            You are!

   What a beautiful Pussy you are!"


Pussy said to the Owl, "You elegant fowl,

   How charmingly sweet you sing!

Oh! let us be married; too long we have tarried,

   But what shall we do for a ring?"

They sailed away, for a year and a day,

To the land where the bong-tree grows;

And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood,

   With a ring at the end of his nose,

            His nose,

            His nose,

   With a ring at the end of his nose.


"Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling

   Your ring?" Said the Piggy, "I will."

So they took it away, and were married next day

   By the turkey who lives on the hill.

They dined on mince and slices of quince,

   Which they ate with a runcible spoon;

And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,

   They danced by the light of the moon,

            The moon,

            The moon,

   They danced by the light of the moon.

Saturday, August 12, 2023

ANWAR: A MAN OF EXTRAORDINARY DESTINY (repost)

It never ceases to amaze me when perfectly intelligent folk keep parroting unoriginal notions acquired from coffeeshop gossip and loose talk over a few beers. How many times have I been told by those supposedly in the know that “Anwar can’t be trusted. He’s a chameleon.”

Dammit… look at that bunch of utter nincompoops strutting around the corridors of power today: anal-retentive Umno stereotypes like Abdullah Badawi, Najib Razak, Tengku Adnan Tengku Mansor, Syed Hamid Albar, Muhammad Muhammad Taib, and Khir Toyo… DO YOU TRUST THESE CREATURES? They can’t even speak in public without sounding like robots or reading from scripts! Anwar is human and passionate and you can sense a burning intelligence in his eyes.

Okay, back in the mid-1970s when I first read about this hotheaded leader of ABIM (Muslim Youth Movement), I went ho-hum. Back then Anwar Ibrahim was your archetypal ethnocentric nationalist sporting the mujahideen goatee - but at least he was outspoken on issues affecting the rural poor, and that got him into jail. Seeing his leadership potential, Mahathir persuaded Anwar to join Umno and got him spewing forth the expected foam about bangsa and ugama. I confess that in 1989 I actually did a caricature of him and labeled it "Anal Ibrim" little suspecting that within a decade Anwar would be plagued by that very word. And I'm still troubled by a rumor I once heard, naming Anwar Ibrahim as the minister who came up with the wicked idea to convert the dysfunctional Jabatan Hal Ehwal Orang Asli (Orang Asli Affairs Department) into a tool for converting the Orang Asli to Islam and assimilating them into the Malay mainstream.

Well, I don't know if there's any truth to that accusation - but even if it were true, that was back in 1990, and the man has suffered six years in prison for that reprehensible gaffe. You could say Anwar has paid all his karmic dues. Let's delete Anwar's slightly murky past when he was Umno deputy president and Dr M's hand-picked protégé, and take a closer look at what happened around the time of the currency depreciation in mid-1997. A bunch of young Turks in Umno were pushing Anwar to the forefront as a potential heir to the throne, goading him to attack Mahathir on the corruption front, the old man's weak underbelly. The Mamak didn't like that one bit - and neither did his former finance minister, Daim Zainuddin. Anwar was given the option to hand in his resignation - or face extreme vilification and political damnation.

Anwar, unlike other DPMs, refused to yield to Mahathir’s awesome might and megalomaniacal ego. Anwar fought back when he could have cut his losses by taking up a diplomatic or academic post abroad, returning quietly to the Umno fold a few years later like Musa Hitam.

On September 2nd, 1998, Anwar Ibrahim underwent a radical transformation from Umno bigwig to political renegade - he literally took on the mantle of a messianic cult hero when Malaysia urgently required one. I’ve watched him closely since his sacking and subsequent arrest - and he has performed impeccably as a spiritual warrior and icon of righteous resistance. Over six years of incarceration Anwar maintained his dignity, focus, perseverance and humanity - and that’s when the beautiful, strong women in his life rose to the occasion.

No man who has seen his wife and daughter go through so much on his behalf would ever behave like a male chauvinist pig; he would have a healthy respect for the feminine principle. This is what I see in Anwar and that is why I have publicly hailed him as Malaysia’s best hope at this critical juncture in our political evolution.

Anwar has every quality that marks him as a man of extraordinary destiny. I trust him as much as I trust myself - and because I fear him not, I would walk up to him and tell him to his face if ever I felt he was turning into a tyrant. As a former victim of Dr M's tyranny, Anwar would never want to go down that ignominious road.

In 2001 while overnighting at a friend's house, I flipped through a copy of Anwar Ibrahim's Asian Renaissance I found in his library. Anwar came across as somebody I could imagine having a damn good conversation with on a one-to-one basis. But what most impressed me and turned my views around on politicians in general and Anwar in particular - was the bibliography at the end of the book which listed - among a broad spectrum of classics including the sublime poetry of Rabindranath Tagore - the Tao Te Ching. Now, anybody who can claim to have read that supreme masterpiece in pithy, organic wisdom is welcome in my household anytime. And if he decides to run for high political office, I'd put my money on him. These are no ordinary times we are living in. Successfully navigating the uncharted political seas immediately ahead calls for an extraordinary helmsman - one who has survived the worst storms!

[Here's an inspiring perspective on Anwar Ibrahim by Charles R. Avila that was uploaded today on Din Merican's blog.]

APPENDIX A

Wednesday, 30 July 2008

THE CORRIDORS OF POWER
Malaysia Today

At 2.30pm on Wednesday, 25 June 2008, Senior Assistant Commissioner (SAC) II Mohd Rodwan Mohd Yusof met Mohd Saiful Bukhari Azlan in room 619 of the Concorde Hotel in Kuala Lumpur. Prior to this secret meeting, Rodwan and Saiful spoke on the phone at least eight (8) times.

Three days later, at 2.00pm on 28 June 2008, Saiful went to see Dr Mohamed Osman Abdul Hamid of the Hospital Pusrawi to ‘complain’ that he had been sodomised by ‘a very important person’ and that he wished to lodge a police report. The doctor, however, found no traces or evidence that he had been sodomised and suggested, for purposes of the police report, that Saiful go to a government hospital.

Who is Rodwan, other than the fact that he works for the IGP and is known as the police chief’s bagman and go-between with the organised crime syndicate that controls all the drugs, prostitution, loan-sharking and gambling rackets? Well, read the following archived reports to get a better understanding of this scumbag and slime-ball named Rodwan. Maybe then you can understand why he met Saiful in a hotel room three days before the sodomy allegation against Anwar Ibrahim exploded.

APPENDIX B

This comment was posted 30 July 2008 on Susan Loone’s blog:

Susan,

I would like to write the following statement in the name of GOD whom I believe.

I am a government doctor in the rank of consultant working in Hospital Kuala Lumpur (HKL). I know personally the doctors who examined Saiful on that day - 28 June 2008.

The so-called medical report mentioned in the NST is a fabrication or imagination by the UMNO paper. There is no such medical report submitted to the polis yet.

When examining Saiful, the specialist could not find any signs of Saiful being sodomised. Saiful was very cheerful, unlike real sodomised patients who will usually be very sad and disturbed.

Saiful was subsequently admitted to the ward and observed for a day. He was completely well in the ward and not emotionally disturbed.

Please let RPK know of this.

Thanks.


[First posted 30 July 2008] 

Two Wolves And A Sheep (reprise)

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. - James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)

If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress... But then I repeat myself. - Mark Twain

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. - Mark Twain


There is no distinctly Native American criminal class - save Congress. - Mark Twain


No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
- Mark Twain

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke


If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free! - P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian (1947 - )


I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. - Winston Churchill 


A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)


Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. - Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University (1968)

[This priceless collection of cogent quotes was sent to me by Jane D'Cruz. First posted 14 August 2007]

Saturday, August 5, 2023

Forrest Gump explains Mortgage Backed Securities... again!


Mortgage Backed Securities are like boxes of chocolates. Criminals on Wall Street stole a few chocolates from the boxes and replaced them with turds. Their criminal buddies at Standard & Poor rated these boxes AAA Investment Grade chocolates. These boxes were then sold all over the world to investors.

Eventually somebody bites into a turd and discovers the crime. Suddenly nobody trusts American chocolates anymore worldwide.

Hank Paulson now wants the American taxpayers to buy up and hold all these boxes of turd-infested chocolates for $800 billion dollars until the market for turds returns to normal. Meanwhile, Hank's buddies, the Wall Street criminals who stole all the good chocolates are not being investigated, arrested, or indicted.

Mama always said: "Sniff the chocolates first, Forrest."

Now here's another classic story illustrating the evils of gambling and betting...
An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.

After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office. The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, "$165,000."

The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets.

The president was surprised and asked, "What kind of bets?"

The elderly woman replied, "Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square.'"

The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that. The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, "Would you like to take my bet?"

"Certainly," replied the president. "I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are NOT square.'"

"Done!" the elderly woman answered. "But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind, I would like to come back at 10 o' clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness."

"No problem." said the president of the Bank confidently.

That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his balls as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.

The next morning at exactly 10 o' clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square. The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants so that she and her lawyer could inspect his balls.

The president readily obliged, anticipating an unexpected windfall of $25,000.

The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch his balls.

"Of course," said the president. "Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure."


The elderly woman did so with a small smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, "Oh, it's probably because I bet him $125,000 that around 10 o' clock in the morning I would be fondling the balls of the President of the Bank of Canada."

[First published 27 November 2008, reposted 6 August 2012]

Tuesday, August 1, 2023

SUNDAY FUNNIES: The Genie and the Ostrich


A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a Coke," and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a Coke."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potatoes and a salad," says the man.

"Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers: "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say."













[Forwarded by Jason Rao. First posted 27 July 2008]

Sunday, July 30, 2023

Cross Dressing, Anyone? (worth another reprise)

In 1998 my friend Ray Langenbach initiated a "religious exchange" program wherein he undertook to embrace the belief system, no matter how weird, of anyone willing to embark on the experiment. He sent me a questionnaire and requested that I fill it out. At an appointed time and date we sent each other our questionnaires. When I read Ray's I burst out laughing, because we shared almost identical beliefs - except he's an academic and writes kinda funny. Below is the email I sent Ray...



Subject: Cross Dressing, Anyone?
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1998 00:20:45 -0700
From: Antares
Organization: Magick River
To: Ray Langenbach

1. Your religious beliefs.

You can choose OPTION A, OPTION B OR OPTION C (OR ALL OF THEM):

OPTION A: "Scientific Pantheism" as a belief system. Very briefly, Scientific Pantheism postulates that a Universal Force or Spirit underlies and overlights all phenomena, and our "religious duty" mainly consists in gaining an ever clearer and deeper understanding of the Mystery, the Unknown, by using the tools of our intellect - language, mathematics, art, music, dance, and reason - for to know (and understand) is to appreciate and love, and to love and appreciate is the only service required of all conscious entities.

2. Describe any rituals to be performed, and when they must be performed, what must be said, what must be in the mind at the time, any prayers, how often, any taboo foods, words, actions, sexual practices, thoughts etc.

In Scientific Pantheism, rituals are optional. However, a few personal rituals I favor are those performed in acknowledgment of our vital relationship to the Earth, the Moon, the Sun, and the Stars.

EARTH RITUAL essentially consists of resensitizing oneself to the magnetic field of our planet; recognizing that human industrial and military activities have a deleterious effect on the integrity of the geomagnetic field; and that as conscious individuals we can help reharmonize the field by aligning our own bio-energetic fields with that of the Earth, which may be perceived as the Great Mother of Life. This ritual can be performed by remembering to breathe deeply and slowly while visualizing a continuous flow of prana or ch'i through our biomagnetic field (which may be visualized as a doughnut-shaped "tube torus" energized by prana and rooted within the earth's central core, with the opposite pole extending outwards all the way to the nearest source of light, the Sun). As we perform this ritual, it is necessary to focus on our heart chakra (our compassion centre), letting it open to the max and infusing the pranic flow with ecstatic, unconditional, non-judgmental love.

MOON RITUAL: Taking note of life rhythms as they are affected by the phases of the Moon. Basking in the glow of the full moon in celebration of Beauty, Truth, and the Eternal Mystery of Life; tuning inward at each new moon, reassessing our life path, and refocusing on our personal goals/missions.

SUN RITUAL: Observing equinoctial and solstitial dates, opening our hearts and minds to the life-sustaining power of the Solar/Stellar Light, which permeates our bio-energetic fields as photons.

No specific food or sexual taboos... but in accordance with the Law of the Universal Food Chain, "Everything Eats and All Is Edible!" ... a practising Scientific Pantheist will regard each meal, each sexual encounter, as a fusion of energy fields - and therefore a true act of worship. Each experience of lifeforce exchange or transfusion is thus perceived as a holy (or whole-making) act, consecrated to what Einstein called "the Grand Unified Field."

3. Describe your cosmology, that is how reality or the world as we know it came into being.



























This is a tough one! But the Hologram Model of Reality serves us best... 

Hermeticists quote the formula, "As above, so below." Our current understanding of Fractal Geometry and Hologram Theory prompts us to say: "As within the Micro, so throughout the Macro!" OR: "As within, so without!" In effect, inner and outer space are as concave and convex surfaces of a sphere, which is the prime geometric form of existence in this waveform universe. 

All forms are understood as permutations of the Sphere within which the five "Platonic solids" - the tetrahedron, octahedron, hexahedron, icosahedron, and dodecahedron - interact in a bi-polar dance of line and curve, yin and yang, male and female, electricity and magnetism. In effect, the World we see around us, the Cosmos surrounding us, has its correlation with an esoteric or inner reality accessed not via the outer senses but through establishing and sustaining a state of contemplative receptivity. 

There is a paradox which needs to be accepted: just as an electron can be a wave or a particle (physicists are now calling this paradox a "wavicle") - Universe is created and NOT created, depending on the specific frequency zone from which one is "viewing" it. This paradox applies to the perception of time - which can be linear (where Past, Present, Future exist) or spherical (where only Eternity reigns). In effect, both these statements may be accepted as "true":

GOD IS ONE
ONE IS GOD


(However, Scientific Pantheism tends to avoid using hackneyed terms such as "God" unless absolutely necessary.)

OPTION B: No beliefs. Only complete trust in the absolute perfection and wisdom of All That Is and Isn't. No rituals except the comfortable habits that get us through each day, e.g., brushing teeth, having breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner; the occasional indulgence, be it tobacco, alcohol, marijuana, or sexual gratification. No taboos. An easy option.

OPTION C: I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Lowest and the Highest, the One and the All. Sometimes I forget - hence the apparent mess we call Life. No specific beliefs - except that Life is a great deal neater when I remember who and what I truly am. No rituals - except conscious remembrance of my original and ultimate state of being and non-being. No taboos - except lying to myself (which of course includes everyone else).

4. Any other beliefs or actions that are important for someone who is to take on your beliefs.

Hmmm... can't think of any right now - but I'll let you know if something comes to mind. Or if I feel like making a few more up.

[First posted 1 March 2007, reposted 20 September 2014, 2 November 2016 & 21 June 2021]

Saturday, July 29, 2023

THE PANTHEIST MANIFESTO (Revisited Yet Again)

Annunciation - Mati Klarwein - 1961 - 128 x 88 cm


I CLEARLY REMEMBER that life was a great deal simpler a few decades ago... especially in the 1960s when I was a curious-minded adolescent interested in just about everything, especially the Mysteries. In those days, it was so exciting to read about Egyptian, Andean and Trans-Himalayan Mystery Schools, ascended masters, alchemists, wizards, spiritual hierarchies, Sufi networks, Templar secrets, and whatnot!

Names like St. Germain, Djwhal Khul, Koot Hoomi, Rakoczi, and Morya fired my imagination. When I was 15 or 16 I hungrily devoured books by Lobsang Rampa, Dion Fortune and Dennis Wheatley. Pauwels & Bergier's Morning of the Magicians was a sort of bible to me. Richard Kieninger, writing as Eklal Kueshana, described his stellar initiations in The Ultimate Frontier and invited readers to join his Stelle Community based outside Chicago. I actually wrote to them and they sent me a membership form (which I never filled).

Jane Roberts came out with her Seth books and corroborated many private notions. I longed to be tapped on the shoulder by a beggar on the street who, with a merry twinkle in his eye, would reveal that he was an emissary of some Invisible Brotherhood that had been in existence for thousands of years as Keepers of the Sacred Flame... you know, the sort of Dr Strange comicbook stuff that folks like Drunvalo Melchizedek and Jimmy Twyman report. In short, the 'New Age' was NEVER all that "new" to me - esoteric knowledge was something I grew up on.

Hollywood celebrities like Shirley Maclaine came out of the closet with mystical books (Out on a Limb); box-office stars like John Travolta declared their faith in Scientology; and even country-&-western singers like John Denver got involved with dadfangled new therapies like EST, just as John & Yoko had popularized Arthur Janov's Primal Scream.

And we mustn't forget how the Beatles (and Mia Farrow) had promoted Transcendental Meditation with their visits to the Maharishi's ashram. More recently, author-teachers like James Redfield (The Celestine Prophecy) and Neale Donald Walsch (Conversations With God) broke into the mainstream with their best-selling books and infected millions with a newfound optimism and holographic perception.

Many of us will recall the excitement of discovering that there may be a great deal more to existence than meets the egocentric "I" - that angels, cherubim and seraphim, space brothers and sisters, Venusian bombshells and Arcturian crystal healers might ACTUALLY exist.

And when did I first come across that evocative word, "Pleiades"? I never felt 100% comfortable with the idea of "Sirius" - for some strange reason.

Then there was the widespread buzz over the Zeta Reticulan Greys and John A. Keel's famous Mothmen. In 1991 a muse goddess loaned me a book by Solara and I was introduced to the mysterious Og-Min (which spawned a small collection of Og-Min jokes, e.g., Bog-Minster Fuller of the Intergalactic Og-Ministration :-)... Nibiru and the Anunnaki was a fairly new discovery... perhaps within the last 10 years, after I got plugged in on the WorldWideWeb and had access to more information in a week than I used to have in years.

My point is this: were all my "peak experiences" - times when I felt fully reconnected to Source and at-one with All That Is - simply the synergetic result of my years of reading, thinking, and arcane research?

Do Catholic girls have visions of Jesus and the Blessed Virgin Mary simply because they were raised on this specific pantheon? Does a Hindu carrying the kavadi at Thaipusam inevitably receive messages of healing and succor from Lord Murugan - or might Kwan Yin, Kryon, or Amaterasu come to him instead? Did Mother Teresa model herself after Amaterasu?

And how do Obama, Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Blair, Queen E, MJ-12, MI6, Mossad, MK-Ultra, Najib Razak, the Mafia and the Reptilians fit into this dense and elaborate scenario? Are we still playing Cozmik Cowboys 'n' Injuns? Where is Inspector John Lee of the Nova Police when we need him? Has anyone heard from Uranium Willy and the Heavy Metal Kid of late?

Believe me, I've had FAR-OUT experiences since the age of 19. Once, in 1972, Jimi Hendrix materialized briefly in my garden looking like a Mayan galactic navigator (or was it just a side-effect of the psilocybin mushrooms?) I used to have extended telepathic conversations with Frank Zappa, whom I perceived as Intelligence Incarnate. Lest anyone think I only traffic with the Rich 'n' Famous, I occasionally hobnob with garbage bins and lampposts, even toilet brushes - not to mention trees, grasshoppers, and garden shrubs. Does this make me a candidate for the Cuckoo's Nest? Or am I simply way too eclectic in my scientific pantheism?

I've explored tantric yoga and vegetarianism, Rosicrucianism, Enochian magick, Crowley, Gurdjieff, Wilhelm Reich, Tim Leary, John Lilly, Terence McKenna, the Kabbala, sacred geometry, and the Flower of Life.

And now Asha Deane is saying that the Alpha-Omega Melchizedek Order (of which Drunvalo claims membership) is behind a nasty plot to get people to activate their Merkabas in reverse, so that Fallen Angelic Hierarchies can take over their souls! Jim Hurtak is really an Illuminati agent channeling the naughty Jehovian Elohim via his Keys of Enoch. However, Enoch himself is cool and doing his darndest to remain neutral in the Final Conflict between Light and Dark.... Hmmmm.

In truth, I am utterly bewildered by all this metaphysical shit flying around. Some say we must transcend to ascend. Others insist we must get involved on the social and political levels - or lose our genetic inheritance to evil extradimensional parasites. However, I do have a mathematical constant to which I can refer when feeling disoriented: my innermost core is none other than Source Itself!

All that peripheral detail is just an entertaining spin-off from allowing a random factor into the permutation process that makes manifestation possible. No matter what belief system I take a temporary fancy to - or to use a more organic analogy, no matter which philosophical Playboy Playmate I pick as my flavor-of-the-month - I know that what I'm all about is LOVE. Even in my grouchiest state on the worst bad-hair day, I am centered in Universal Love, Compassion, and the Unending Quest for Pure Meaning and Perfect Harmony.

And that is ultimately all anyone needs to be. The rest is just subscription TV with an infinite choice of channels (pun fully intended).

Written 10 May 2003 & published in Magick River's lunatic fringe e-zine, The Moon. First posted 7 January 2009, reposted 16 May 2014 & 15 August 2015.

Tuesday, July 25, 2023

AND ON THE 3RD DAY... HE CRACKED ME UP ALL OVER AGAIN! (repost)

Three days ago, on 22 June 2008, a very funny man left the planet. He wasn't just hilariously, laugh-a-second, faster-than-a-speeding train funny - George Carlin was also one of the smartest, clearest-thinking humans who ever made a lifetime career out of stand-up comedy. Some would add that George Carlin was also arguably the foulest-mouthed, most offensively in-your-face type of free-thinking, free-wheeling atheist - and that folks like him ought to be completely banned from the airwaves. Well, anyone who would say something so unkind about my dear departed friend George Carlin will be immediately added to George's infamous list of "People Who Deserve To Be Killed" for being so dumb-ass fucking stupid. In celebration of his life and as a tribute to a shining beacon of intelligence, I've selected some wonderful examples of George Carlin's brilliant wit, courtesy of YouTube (what would the world be without YouTube?)







My grandfather would say: "I'm going upstairs to fuck your grandmother". He was an honest man, and he wasn't going to bullshit a four-year-old.” — George Carlin

GEORGE CARLIN was born 12 May 1937 in New York City, the son of Mary (née Bearey), a secretary, and Patrick Carlin, a national advertising manager for the New York Sun. Carlin was of Irish descent and was raised in the Roman Catholic faith.

Carlin grew up on West 121st Street, in a neighborhood of Manhattan which he later said, in a stand-up routine, he and his friends called "White Harlem," because that sounded a lot tougher than its real name of Morningside Heights. He was raised by his mother, who left his father when Carlin was two years old. After three semesters, at the age of 14, Carlin involuntarily left Cardinal Hayes High School and briefly attended Bishop Dubois High School in Harlem. He later joined the United States Air Force, training as a radar technician. He was stationed at Barksdale AFB in Bossier City, Louisiana.

During this time he began working as a disc jockey on KJOE, a radio station based in the nearby city of Shreveport. He did not complete his Air Force enlistment. Labeled an "unproductive airman" by his superiors, Carlin was discharged on July 29, 1957. In 1959, Carlin and Jack Burns began as a comedy team when both were working for radio station KXOL in Fort Worth, Texas. After successful performances at Fort Worth's beat coffeehouse, The Cellar, Burns and Carlin headed for California in February 1960 and stayed together for two years as a team before moving on to individual pursuits.

Carlin became more popular as a frequent performer and guest host on The Tonight Show during the Johnny Carson era, becoming one of Carson's most frequent substitutes during the host's three-decade reign. Carlin was also cast on Away We Go, a 1967 comedy show. His material during his early career, which included impressions, and his appearance, which consisted of suits and short-cropped hair, has been seen as "conventional", particularly when contrasted with his later antiestablishment material.

Carlin was present at Lenny Bruce's arrest for obscenity. According to legend the police began attempting to detain members of the audience for questioning, and asked Carlin for his identification. Telling the police he did not believe in government issued IDs, he was arrested and taken to jail with Bruce in the same vehicle.

Eventually, Carlin changed both his routines and his appearance. He lost some TV bookings by dressing strangely for a comedian of the time, wearing faded jeans and sporting a beard and earrings at a time when clean-cut, well-dressed comedians were the norm. Using his own persona as a springboard for his new comedy, he was presented by Ed Sullivan in a performance of "The Hair Piece," and quickly regained his popularity as the public caught on to his sense of style.

In 2001, Carlin was given a Lifetime Achievement Award at the 15th Annual American Comedy Awards.

In December 2003, California U.S. Representative Doug Ose introduced a bill (H.R. 3687) to outlaw the broadcast of Carlin's seven "dirty words," including "compound use (including hyphenated compounds) of such words and phrases with each other or with other words or phrases, and other grammatical forms of such words and phrases (including verb, adjective, gerund, participle, and infinitive forms)". (The bill omits "tits", but includes "ass" and "asshole", which were not part of Carlin's original routine.)

The following year, Carlin was fired from his headlining position at the MGM Grand Hotel in Las Vegas after an altercation with his audience. After a poorly received set filled with dark references to suicide bombings and beheadings, Carlin stated that he could not wait to get out of "this fucking hotel" and Las Vegas in general, claiming he wanted to go back East "where the real people are." He continued to insult his audience, stating:

"People who go to Las Vegas, you've got to question their fucking intellect to start with. Traveling hundreds and thousands of miles to essentially give your money to a large corporation is kind of fucking moronic. That's what I'm always getting here is these kind of fucking people with very limited intellects."

An audience member shouted back that Carlin should "stop degrading us", at which point Carlin responded "Thank you very much, whatever that was. I hope it was positive; if not, well blow me." He was immediately fired by MGM Grand and soon after announced he would enter rehab for drug and alcohol addiction.

For years, Carlin had performed regularly as a headliner in Las Vegas. He began a tour through the first half of 2006, and had a new HBO Special on November 5, 2005 entitled Life is Worth Losing, which was shown live from the Beacon Theatre in New York City. Topics covered included suicide, natural disasters (and the impulse to see them escalate in severity), cannibalism, genocide, human sacrifice, threats to civil liberties in America, and how an argument can be made that humans are inferior to animals.

"If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter.” — George Carlin

Although raised in the Roman Catholic faith, Carlin often denounced the idea of God in interviews and performances, most notably with his "Invisible Man in the Sky" and "There Is No God" routines. In mockery, he invented the parody religion Frisbeetarianism for a newspaper contest. He defined it as the belief that when a person dies "his soul gets flung onto a roof, and just stays there", and cannot be retrieved.

Carlin also joked that he worshiped the Sun, because he could actually see it, but prayed to Joe Pesci (a good friend of his in real life) because "he's a good actor", and "looks like a guy who can get things done!"

Carlin also introduced the "Two Commandments" - a revised "pocket-sized" list of the Ten Commandments in his HBO special Complaints and Grievances, ending with the additional commandment of "Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself."



CAN'T GET ENOUGH? CLICK HERE!

[First posted 25 June 2008]


A wonderfully wicked session with George Carlin (repost)













If you'd like a bit more from George Carlin, click here!

[First posted 19 January 2015]

Sunday, July 23, 2023

Drunvalo Melchizedek's extraordinary mission on Planet Earth! (reprise

Immortal Teachings of
The Flower of Life
by Antares

How often have you looked at the stars on a clear night and wondered: "This is so beautiful, so inspiring... but what does it mean to my life on this tiny planet?"

And then have you not wished, for a whimsical moment, that a very ancient and wise person would magically appear and tell you the story of how Life came to be on Earth, and the Purpose of it all, if any?

What if such a Person did appear and told you the true story of Earth and her place among the stars... would you believe any of it? Or would your "scientific" education prevent you from listening with your heart and remembering the stories that already live within your cells, like a wondrous tapestry of evolutionary tales woven with the very strands of your DNA?

Well, a very wise and ancient person appeared before Drunvalo Melchizedek in 1972, not long after Drunvalo "arrived" on this planet. This phantasmal being gazed intensely with babylike eyes at Drunvalo, as if scrutinizing him without judgement... and then disappeared.

Twelve years later on November 1, 1984 (Drunvalo seems very specific about particular dates), the strange apparition appeared again, at first in the form of a golden, egg-shaped light; and then as a compact, brown-skinned, twinkling-eyed man. This time, Drunvalo was ready to receive his distinguished visitor, whose name - or one of them at least - was Thoth.

His mission, it turned out, was to transmit to Drunvalo (and whoever was interested) everything he knew of Earth's tumultuous history since 50,000 B.C., when he was a mighty Atlantean king named Chiquetet Arelich Vomalitos. Actually, Thoth was a bit of a Time Traveler and had juicy information dating back 5.5 million years. Beyond that point, Thoth said, the Akashic Records had been scratched or completely deleted by an inexplicable occurrence.

Now, any mystic worth his sacred mantram will tell you that every thought, word and deed is indelibly imprinted in the akasha (etheric timetrack). What could possibly have happened 5.5. million years ago around this planet to have obliterated the records? Oh well, never mind the hoary past but what of the future?

Thoth wasn't too concerned about that, since he was looking forward to completing his mission and departing this Dimensional Octave altogether. Which he did, according to Drunvalo, with 31 other Ascended Masters on May 4, 1991 (if these precise dates have any significance, I have yet to discover it).

Goodbye, Thoth! Hello, Drunvalo! But this won't be the last you'll be hearing of Thoth. Indeed, much of the historical data presented by Drunvalo Melchizedek in his extraordinary Flower of Life workshop comes directly from Thoth's vast memory banks. No wonder the early Egyptians worshiped Thoth as the God of Scribes, depicting him with an ibis head. Later he incarnated in Greece as Hermes Trismegistus (the Thrice-Bom Master) and initiated Pythagoras into the Great Mysteries. The Romans called him Mercury, Messenger of the Sun (and, by extension, the Stars).

You see, Thoth succeeded in penetrating the Veils of Time and Space, and ascended to Immortality about 52,000 years ago. He could have moved on to other realities but chose instead to stay close to Earthbound humanity till every laggard soul was ripe for graduation to "higher levels" of consciousness.

The fact that Thoth and his wife have finally fused with a soul group of Ascended Masters and zoomed off way beyond the Time-Space Horizon augurs very well indeed for all of us. It means we are nearing the Time of Completion in our evolution.


Between now and January 2013, hints Drunvalo, every human being will have made it through the proverbial Eye of the Needle - even the grossly overweight ones (although some very drastic transformations of lifestyles and perceptions may be necessary).

What about the rest of the planet - the oceans, the forests, the plants and animals, the indigenous peoples? Don't worry about them, Drunvalo advises, they're perfectly fine; it's the technology-addicted human race that's going through a major initiation. We simply have to lay down our weapons and quit judging or trying to control other people's behavior or beliefs.

Not at all an easy order to fill. But we really have to think and act and play WIN-WIN for EVERYONE - and we've got to do it NOW. Or else? Or else we won't know what hit us when the Earth's magnetic field collapses, erasing our synthetic realities and our memories.

Is that an inevitable scenario? "Don’t ask me, I only work here," Drunvalo quips impishly. "Actually, nobody knows anymore, not even the Ascended Masters. Events are accelerating way beyond predictability. But it's no use worrying. Just open up your heart and activate your living Merkaba field. It's no big deal - we've only forgotten how to do it, that's all - because we stopped breathing prana directly when we 'fell' about 13,000 years ago.”


In March 1994, at the Archangel Michael Conclave in Banff, Canada, Drunvalo Melchizedek broke the Good News: The aeons-long war between Good and Evil is OVER! 

At least on the "higher levels" it's over - even if a few stragglers are still roaming the jungles of dense reality, sniping at imaginary enemies and dodging illusory bullets. The Great Archangels Lucifer and Michael have reached a special new understanding. The drama of duality has finally played itself out. Heroes and villains will share the stage with the entire chorus at the curtain call, while the audience jumps to its feet for a standing ovation.

And we can all celebrate with a drink of ambrosia (what else?) afterwards - although questions of "before" and "after" will get trickier and trickier when linear time transforms itself into spiral or even spherical time (which could mean No-Time at all!)

Er.. can you PROVE any of this?

Actually, no, Mr Jones. However, that's not really a problem. Picture it this way: what sort of proof could you show a frog living under a coconut shell that there's a whole reality "out there" which is utterly beyond its conception? Or how do you explain to a tankful of aquarium fish that their "owner" has moved house - and that they're in fact in a completely different city? City? What's a "city"? See what I mean? Now if you’ve been experiencing weird intimations that there’s a whole lot more going on around here than meets the socially conditioned “I” – or you’ve had vivid dreams which make you feel that waking reality may not be all that real – you won’t be demanding any concrete proof, just validation and elaboration.

Drunvalo Melchizedek doesn't know everything. After all, he's only been on this planet twice. But what he says, and the way he says it, resonates with my own feelings about reality. His stories, Thoth's stories, stir the depths of my soul, bringing to light a great many long-forgotten truths. I can recognize the SHAPE and the SOUND of what's “true.” I don't need an official document to prove I am who I am.

So what else did I learn in 6 long days (from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m.)? Well, for one thing, I learned how God or Prime Creator or Great Spirit managed to generate a universe in 6 simple movements. That's the great secret concealed in the Flower of Life emblem. It's all holographic. The great contains the small and vice versa. Or, as Hermes succinctly put it to Pythagoras: "As above, so below." Sacred geometry - or synergetic-energetic geometry, in Buckminister Fuller's terms - explains it best.

The original Flower of Life workshop included 44 hours of videos. In six days I watched more videos than I have since the advent of television (I believe someone has compressed and edited the info to less than 33 hours now). The participants took turns nodding off (there were only four of us, owing to last-minute cancellations, so it was easy to keep tabs on who was asleep and who wasn't. 

Korton (aka Lloyd Taylor) our greybearded, grandfatherly, bighearted facilitator from Maleny, Queensland, told us not to worry about "missing" some segments. "Trust that your Higher Self knows when to knock out your conscious mind so your subconscious can record it for later use."

What came across most powerfully, watching Drunvalo's impeccable classroom manner during a couple of FOL workshops conducted in 1992 and 1993, was how he so seamlessly merged the Scientist and the Mystic in his personal being. Here was a man who had started out studying Physics and Mathematics, only to switch abruptly to Fine Arts; and then Alchemy, followed by crash courses in Judaism, Sufism, Hinduism, Tantrism, Tibetan Buddhism, Islam, Shamanism, Sacred Geometry, the Kaballah, Mineralogy, Crystallography... not bad for someone who began his present life as a Roman Catholic.

Thermodynamic Horizon by Adam Scott Miller
As Drunvalo candidly explains, he "walked" into his physical body on April 10, 1972 (he doesn't say what time) by prior arrangement with the previous tenant. As a new-kid-on-the-block by earthly standards, Drunvalo needed a fully customized vehicle to ease his entry into the density and complexity of 3-dimensional living. Prior to accepting this assignment, Drunvalo remembers his free and formless state in the 13th Dimension (but only vaguely, or the nostalgia would have been too painful to endure). He’s a Melchizedek from outside the System, from beyond the 12 Dimensions of our Reality Octave.

Unity Consciousness is the Alpha and Omega state of being, and Drunvalo originally knew no Polarity (he has since learned a hell of a lot about it, he says with a wry grin). That's precisely why he was chosen for this special mission by the Great White Brotherhood (on the recommendation of his great-great-great-grandfather Machiavinda Melchizedek, the very same Mysterious Melchizedek mentioned casually in the Bible as a powerful Priest-King of Salem).

As you may have guessed, the Great White Brotherhood (not to be confused with the Ku Klux Klan, a degenerate modern mutation of an ancient Druidic clan of Melchizedek Initiates) has nothing to do with racist notions of Black or White. Branches of the GWB have also been called the Brotherhood of Light or the White Lodge - and its ordained task has ever been to assist in the evolution of Consciousness throughout the Cosmos.

Now this traditionally placed the GWB at odds with the Great Dark Brotherhood or the Dark Lodge, whose avowed objective has been to thwart the evolutionary process by preying on less conscious lifeforms and arresting their spiritual growth. You can think of it as the intricate interplay of footwork between accelerator and brake pedals. Or some suspenseful species of intergalactic James Bond movie - complete with Spectre and SMERSH Agents, MI6, the CIA, KGB, Mossad, Dr No, and Secret Cabals. As above, so below.

BUT THEN CAME A DIVINE TWIST IN THE PLOT. IT HAPPENED IN 1972. YES, THE YEAR DRUNVALO MELCHIZEDEK SHIPPED IN... THE YEAR LIFE ALMOST ENDED IN OUR SOLAR SYSTEM... THE YEAR EARTH WAS BORN ANEW… THANKS TO "DADDY" AND "MUMMY'... AND A WHOLE BUNCH OF DOTING "AUNTS" AND "UNCLES" FROM THE STARRY REALMS…

In order to even begin to sense the relevance and truth of everything Drunvalo discusses in the FOL teachings, one needs to quickly scan the general outline of the curriculum and get a rough idea of the wild assortment of heavy topics we're grappling with... sorry, I mean LIGHT topics! Ready for this?



Although starseeds began germinating on this planet about 500 million years ago, most of these early civilizations have evolved beyond the Waveform Universe. Their stories are inaccessible to us at this juncture, but perhaps at some point in our distant future we shall reconnect with our remote past and gain direct experience of life processes at this level.

However, it is possible to get a glimpse of the numerous Great Cycles our Earth has passed through in the last 5.5 million years once our consciousness has broken through the dense shell of 3D Time-Space. It's the most recent 200,000 years that directly affects us - especially the last 13,000 years since the Great Deluge that came in the wake of the Atlantean Disaster.

A specific landmark year was 1972, the year our Sun underwent an unscheduled Pole Shift. The resulting solar wind would have obliterated all lifeforms on the physical plane - had it not been for timely extraterrestrial intervention sanctioned by the highest Spiritual Authority. Those deemed responsible for our genesis undertook a radical experiment, hoping to save at least two or three Earthian humans from annihilation. As events turned out, the results exceeded all expectations. Not only was the human race saved in biological terms, we are now potential saviors in the theological sense.


Thanks to this deus ex machina Holographic Virtual Reality Insert, humanity is now a species on the very brink of attaining Christ-consciousness en masse (I know the evidence from consensus reality makes it virtually impossible to believe this, but this is veritably the darkest hour before the New Dawn). In fact, millions have already experienced this mysterious effect without understanding what it's all about.

In the Hebrew scriptures, the beings behind our creation were called the Elohim and the Nephilim. But we may call them by their more "upbeat" names - how about Sirians (from the Dog Star Sirius) and Nibiruans (from the 4th-dimensional planet Nibiru, known in Greek mythology as Typhon?... and even as I write this, swiftly approaching the Earth in its 3,600-year orbit around our Sun).

These were indeed the Sky Gods described in the Sumerian cuneiform clay tablets as Anunnaki (Those Who From Heaven To Earth Descended) - the saga was subsequently paraphrased as the Book of Genesis in the Old Testament (read Zecharia Sitchin's extensive studies on the subject of the 12th Planet available from Bear & Co).

While Drunvalo makes no mention of the role of the Pleiadians in our planet's life history, I feel that a very significant aspect of our "higher selves" originates from what the Maya/Inca and other indigenous peoples regard as our original home constellation. Stay tuned for further revelations...


[First published 1997 in JOURNAL ONE. Posted 11 June 2012 & 1 August 2014]