THE ORIGINS OF MANGLISH ~ by Antares (repost)

A Manglish Primer

Contrary to popular myth, I didn‘t invent Manglish. Nor would I blame it on the Chinese either. As a distinctive language in its own right, Manglish has been evolving quietly and discreetly since the British introduced English to these shores - but it has only been in evident use for about half a century. Prior to 1945 local Anglophones generally attempted to speak "the King's English" (later replaced by the BBC Overseas Service Standard English). Or else they were content to squawk at each other in some lewd and loud local lingo.

When British rule ended in 1957, out went the rules of spoken English - and that's how Manglish rapidly became a functional intermediary between our official first and second languages, Bahasa Malaysia and Business English. I first heard Manglish spoken when I entered the garment (ackchwurly government) primary school - the same year Britain handed Malaya back to the Malayans. To celebrate Independence, we unstiffened our upper lips and reveled in the ecstatic freedom of "seemply tokking kok." No longer would we tolerate being accused of speaking Bad English. We could now proudly proclaim our mastery of Good Manglish.

At home my parents communicated in a curious mixture of Cantonese and Missionary English - which wasn't quite the same potent concoction as Street Manglish. Somehow the species of English spoken in pre-Merdeka days didn't have the gutsy gutturality of Proper Manglish - perhaps because the local Anglophones were in awe of their Colonial masters and suffered from cultural cringe. 

Those with middle class aspirations attempted to speak what they thought was "the King's English" (later replaced by BBC Overseas Service Standard English). But they kept pretty much within their own racial and social boundaries, demonstrating the efficacy of the Divide-&-Rule Policy. A great deal more inter-ethnic socializing occurred in the post-Merdeka years, and this eventually produced an organic amalgam of vernacular idiosyncrasies - the glorious outcome being what is today universally known as Manglish.

In Singapore some folks speak Singlish - which, naturally, has a lot in common with Manglish, since both societies sprang from the same polyglot roots. However, the use of Singlish appears to be diminishing as the literacy level rises - and along with it, social aspirations. But I may be wrong. I wouldn't be at all surprised to receive an indignant email from Sylvia Toh Paik Choo of the Singlish Preservation Trust setting the record straight. In fact a Singlish rap album (Why You So Like Dat? produced by Siva Choy) made the charts in the early 1990s, proving that Singaporeans do possess a sense of humor.

Siva Choy raps in Singlish on his hit album Why You So Like Dat?

Manglish, in any case, seems to be thriving in Malaysia. Indeed there is a growing body of literature in Manglish (mostly generated by me) which has found its way into British Council language courses as teaching aids. Furthermore, studies such as this one have been commissioned by serious anthropological journals (none of which, alas, still exists) - which hardly augurs well for the continued growth and development of this embryonic industry. 

A real pity, as the terangslation - pardon, translation - of the World's Great Books into Proper Manglish (so that they will become accessible to everyone regardless of social background) will inevitably be retarded, along with the intellectual vibrancy of the nation. Manglish, after all, is the Great Equalizer. No one could possibly pull rank or put on airs when communicating in Manglish. You doan belif me ah? Seemply abzob all the impoting facks, and den go araun booshitting like nobody's beezniz until peeple oso ting you are a regular/decent/down-to-earth kind of fler.

A Word of Warning: If you happen to be a Mat Salleh (read White-Skinned Furriner), we advise you not to attempt speaking Manglish to every Malaysian you meet - unless specifically invited, or else you've lived here long enough to appreciate the indescribable delights of sambal belacan, durian and tempoyak (a piquant relish made from fermented durian). Otherwise you may inadvertently cause serious offence (Bladihel, you look down upon us ah? Yuting we cannot spikking your bladi langwidge one ah?) and find yourself arrested under the Infernal Sensitivities Act. Nonetheless, you may enjoy studying Manglish purely out of linguistic interest (so you can understand wat de local peeple are saying about you lah).

Credit must be given to two cunning linguists (and excellent musicians), Messrs Julian Mokhtar and Rafique Rashid, who sparked my interest in undertaking a formal study of Manglish phonetics and usage - which led to a standardization of spelling and the compilation of a Manglish glossary in 1988. The preliminary results of my research were published in ADOI! (Times Books International, 1989) and since then I have been commissioned to produce a growing body of literature in Manglish - including original poyems and terangslations of eggcerpts from Shakespeare, which appeared in the popular magazine, Manglish Review - whoops, I mean, Men's Review - in the mid-1990s.

MANGLISH IN ACTION (Part One)

A man walks into a department store and is greeted by a good-looking sales promoter.

SALESGIRL: Iffning, sir, how are you? Today got speshul awfer one. Leemeeted stork oni. Impotteds from the Germ Ernie. Got two-ear guarantee. 39.99 oni and summore you baiwanfriwan!

CUSTOMER: Aiseh, you look just like Hongkong star Anita Mui, don‘t get angry ah...

SALESGIRL: Ofcos aidontch-main, sir, I oso like Anita Mui wat, but whynotchew buy one and get one free, can gif to your gurfren?

CUSTOMER: Where I got gurfren, no taim lah. Eh, wat is your name ah, can tell ornot?

SALESGIRL: Aiyah, arfturds your gurfren jailus. Mister, better you buy now, tomollow awfer feenish oridi.

CUSTOMER: Aitoyu got no gurfren lah. How about you ah, got vacancy ornot? Eh, you feenish work we go for sahper, okay?

SALESGIRL: Aiyoh, aiskad oni lah, you so fast-fast one! Plis lah, sir, you hairp me, I hairp you lah, oni 39.99 wat, no nid to be so chipsket one lah!

CUSTOMER: Here‘s my card, plis call me wen you have freetaim, okay?

SALESGIRL: Betayudon gif card, sir. Managemen not allaud.

CUSTOMER: Bladihel, I gif to you, not to managemen wat!

SALESGIRL: Velly solly, sir, cannot like dat one, arfturds I lose my job den how? Solly ah.

CUSTOMER: Barsket, yuting you so bew-tifool ah?

SALESGIRL: Dis kind of peeple oso got. Cheh.

MANGLISH IN ACTION (Part Two)

Coffeeshop scene featuring a gaggle of garrulous pensioners enjoying a few rounds of Guinness.

PENSIONER 1: Aitelyu de barger so-poorting, dah. Lastaim working for debladigarmen, 20-over years, boy. Fraskes oni, defler. Den olafasudden resign and join praivet sector... and wat happen 3 years later? Kena retrench, dah. Hauken dat old fart find anudder job. I arsk yu. Dailah.

PENSIONER 2: Huseso, dah, doan tokkok, man. His brudder-in-law told me defler kena lowtree man, first prize summore. But he wen araun telling wankain sob story, and now defler shiok oni. Tax exile in Labuan. Left his wife and married a Thai pondan – doan laugh ah, I hear damn seksi one, more beatifuller dan woman - and de barsket started his own ooi-dio production kompeni. I tink she got fren in porn beezniz. Many Thai people name Porn wat, heh heh.

PENSIONER 3: Eh, who you tokking about, dah? De fatty bom-bom Singh, izzit?

PENSIONER 2: Yala, Ajaib, yuting who?

PENSIONER 3: Alamak! Yesterday oni I saw de barger!

PENSIONER 1: Ya, ka? Where?

PENSIONER 3: Infrun Central Market lor.

PENSIONER 2: Wat defler doing there?

PENSIONER 3: Nothing much, lah, seemply stand outside KFC in white suit, look like Kernel Sanders lah, shaking hands with customers oni.

PENSIONER 1: Must be wang habis oridi lah, easy come easy go... marry golddigger pornstar summore. Aisehman, taim for anudder raun. Kamon, lah, I spen you flers. Orait!

PENSIONERS 1, 2 & 3: Bawtums up, dah.

MANGLISH IN ACTION (Part Three)

Two old schoolchums bump into each other on the street.

PANG: Hoy, Dol! Long taim no see, man! So weh-yuattash now?

DOL: Aiyo, Pang, izzit? Steel wid debladigarmen, lah, watudu, got six mouse to feed, man. How about you, meelianair oridi ah‘?

PANG: Ha ha, sofanochet, not so easy mah. But working on it lah. Running my own carpet cleaning kompeni. Eh, here’s my card...

DOL: [READING CARD] Wah, Acksikutip Dairector... tera, man! Steel barechiller orwat?

PANG: Yala, where got taim to find wife, man. Make money first, den chewren. Dat’s wat my old man orways tell me.

DOL: Ha ha ha, good advice.... eh, I oso got card. Here, keep in touch, okay, oldfren.

PANG: [READING CARD] No booshit, man! Head of Maintenance Department ah? Wah, not bad, not bad.

DOL: Gimme a call anytaim. Use my hamfone number, okay?

PANG: Okay, man, next week I caw you. We go for makan lah... eh, Dol, you like seafood ornot?

DOL: No problem, towkay! Everyting oso I makan [WINKS]. Minum osoken. Cheevas Reegull, yutingwat!

A COMPACT GLOSSARY OF COMMON MANGLISH WORDS & PHRASES

ackchwurly - originally “actually” – used in Manglish as a sentence starter, e.g., “to be perfectly honest” or “frankly spikking ah.” 

ackshun (oni) - derived from “action” – meaning “to show off.” 

aidontch-main - corruption of "I don't mind" - the extraneous syllable 'ch' indicates that the speaker is well aware of the subtleties of the English language and is making an effort to sound the 't' in "don't." 

aisehman - contraction of "I say, man!" A totally meaningless utterance, most commonly used by those with absolutely nothing to say. 

aiskad (lah) - confession of nervousness, as in "I'm scared, don't have the guts to do it."

aisodono - expression of ignorance, probably imported from India, originally: "I also don't know" (polite variation of "Damned if I know!").

arfturds – contraction of “afterwards” – often used to imply consequence or effect, e.g., “You don’t hit me ah, arfturds I tell my farder!”; also used in place of “later” (“We go and see pickcher first, arfturds can have sahper.”) 

atoyu (wat) - gentle expression of triumph: "What did I tell you?" 

baiwanfriwan - ploy used mainly by Chinese shop assistants to promote sales: "If you buy one, you'll get one free!"  

barfellow – originally “buffalo” – a reference to bulk, usually signifying a clumsy oaf or plodder. 

barger – corruption of “bugger” – literally, pain-in-the-butt or nuisance.

barsket - uncouth interjection; term of derision, often preceded by the prefix "bladi." Probably a mangled compound of "blasted," "bastard" and "bugger. An all-purpose expression of acute annoyance, as in "Goddamn" or "Blast it!" 

betayudon - mild warning, as in "You'd better not do that." 

bladihel - exclamation conveying intense irritation; corruption of "bloody hell!" 

boh-sia – originally a Hokkien expression meaning “mute” but now loosely applied to teenage girls who hang out with, or put out for, sugar-daddies; frequently misheard as “Bosnia,” which arouses instant embarrassment, confusion, moral outrage or sympathy, not necessarily leading to charitable acts. 

bollsdar - rude retort favored by Malaysian Indians, especially Sikhs; essentially a scrotal reference devolved from "balderdash" or "bollocks." (The deliberate slurring of the commonly heard vernacular suffix 'lah' imparts a more emphatic measure of vulgarity. 

cari makan – popular Malay idiom, literally “looking for food” or “to eke out a living” – but usually employed as a rationale for selfish and myopic behavior. 

cheh – expression of total disgust, usually indicating that the user finds the entire subject vile, filthy, contemptible and unworthy of further discussion.

chipsket - contraction of "cheapskate," somebody not known to be generous; also used to describe anything low-cost. 

dai-lah - term of commiseration, usually mock, used in situations where an element of anxiety is present, e.g.,"Oh dear, now you've blown it!" or "Oh well, that's the end of that!" or "Shit! I'm in real trouble." 

debladigarmen - contraction of "the bloody government" - widely used scapegoat for all of life's disappointments, delays, denials, and prohibitions. 

defler - contraction of "that fellow." 

(doan) tokkok - playful insult ("Don't talk rubbish!"); the etymology of tokkok is uncertain but it probably derives from "talk cock" (as in "cock and bull" stories). 

fatty bom-bom – a juvenile reference to bulk; synonymous with “fatso” – a jocular and universally understood description of obesity. 

filim – mispronunciation of “film” – usually refers to movies, whether analog or digital.

fler - personal and/or impersonal reference, originally a contraction of "fellow" but frequently applied in neuter gender, e.g., "You flers better wochaut!" ("Don't any of you try to be funny!") 

fraskes - noun applied to any individual caught in an unenviable impasse; someone whose case is frustrating; could also imply sexual deprivation. 

gifchan (lah) - half-serious plea, as in "Give us a chance, will you?" Could also mean: "Please do us a favor." 

gurfren - slurring of “girlfriend.” 

hauken - another elastic expression applicable in almost any situation, e.g., "That's not right!" or "Impossible!" or "You don't say!" 

ho-laif - adverb, meaning "perpetually" (contraction of "whole life"). 

huseso - "Says who?" or "Who says so?" (alternatively, hused).  

hutoyu - mild challenge, as in "Who told you?" 

izzit - expression of mild unbelief: "Is that so?" 

izzenit - from "isn't it?" but applied very loosely at the end of any particular statement to elicit an immediate response, e.g., "Yused you will spen me a beer, izzenit?" 

kennonot - request or enquiry, contraction of "Can you or can you not?"; also used as "May I?" or "Will you?" or "Is it possible?" 

kenoso - affirmative, "can also"; in other words, "It's quite all right with me" (see osoken). 

kopi money - unofficial commission; bribe. 

lastaim - denotes the past ("last time"), though not necessarily in any specific sense: e.g., "Las-taim we orways see filim but nowadays stay home and watch dividi oni." 

latok - corruption of “datuk”; (i) “grandfather” in Malay; (ii) a tutelary spirit residing in trees and sacred spots; or (iii) an honorific bestowed on individuals deemed worthy (e.g., Malaysia’s best-loved cartoonist Lat, who’s now a “Latok”). Latokship is a much sought-after status symbol (for which some are willing to pay handsomely). 

mais-wan - possessive pronoun, meaning “it belongs to me” or “it’s mine.” Etymologically part of a family including yos-wan (“yours one”) and dias-wan (“their’s one”). 

mebeken - contraction of “maybe can”: in other words, “It may be possible…” 

nemmain - casual dismissal: "Never mind." 

notshai-wan - from "not shy one" - meaning "shameless" or not standing upon ceremony. 

nola - a dilute negative, used as a device to interrupt, deny, or cancel someone else's statement. 

olafasudden - melodramatic variation on “all of a sudden.” 

oridi - contraction of "already." 

osoken - affirmative, interchangeable with kenoso ("also can"); in other words, "Anything goes!" or "Fine by me!" 

ow-tah (punya) - temi of disparagement, meaning "utterly substandard." 

owk-steshen - from “outstation” - a relic of Colonial days when officials were often absent from their posts doing field work; in other words, “out of town” or “abroad.” 

podah - extremely dismissive term derived from street Tamil, as in "Go to hell!" or "Get stuffed!" or "Fuck off!" 

rigadingwat - interrogative used exclusively by telephonists and secretaries when you demand to speak to their bosses: "What is it regarding?" 

sahper - "supper," usually a major pig-out after a nocturnal shopping spree or pub-crawl. 

seehau - mangling of "let's wait and see how it turns out." 

shiok (oni) - expression of intense pleasure, etymology obscure. 

sofanochet - meaning "it hasn't happened yet"; can also be shortened to nochet, a slurring of "not yet.“ 

sohau - polite interrogative, usually used as greeting, e.g., "Well, how are things with you?" or "how goes it?" 

so-poorting - expression of sympathy or condolence: "You poor thing!" 

sorait - universal apology or palliative ("It‘s all right.") 

tera (oni) - noun describing someone who inspires awe, "a real terror." Often has a positive connotation, as in "defer wankain tera ladykiller lah!" 

tan-slee - corruption of “Tan Sri” - the equivalent of a knighthood. 

tingwat - highly adaptable expression stemming from "What do you think?" May be used as a challenge ("Who cares a hoot what you think!"); a rhetorical question ("Well, how about that?"); or as a friendly insult ("Please don’t inflict your abysmal ignorance on us!") - depending on context and intonation. 

wankain -(wan) - adjective denoting uniqueness, oddness, weirdness, extraordinariness: contraction of "one of a kind" (with "one" repeated for rhythmic symmetry). Sometimes rendered as wankain-oni (to emphasize the uniqueness). 

watudu - rhetorical question: "But what can we do?" An excellent excuse for apathy. 

weh-yuattash - polite question when introduced to a stranger: "Where are you attached to?" (in other words, "What do you do for a living?") 

wochaut - from "watch out" - an ominous threat favored by gangsters and polticians. 

yala - non-committal agreement, liberally used when confronted with a bore. A string of "yalas" issuing forth from your hapless listener is a sure sign that he or she wishes to terminate the conversation as soon as possible. 

yesa - general expression of interest, usually inserted as a question during conversations, as in "Oh, really?" 

yu-a-yu - term of friendly accusation, meaning "You're really too much!" 

yugifmisi - imperative indicating intense curiosity, as in: "Let me have a look!" 

yusobadwan - expression of mild reproach: "Hey, that's not very nice!"

[The Manglish Glossary originally appeared in ADOI! (Times Books International, 1989) which sold 13,000 copies and is currently accessible online. This version, first posted 5 October 2012 & reposted 3 June 2014, 12 June 2020 & 22 January 2021, has been slightly expanded.]

LOMEO & JURIET (Act II, Scene 2) ~ Terangslated from the Shakespeare into Proper Manglish by Antares

The Story So Far

There has been little peace in the new township of Jinjang Utara ever since the long-drawn and gruesome War of the Seafood Palaces caused a serious rift between two influential clans – the Ngs and the Chans. At a lavish Chap Goh Meh party hosted by Datuk Chan, trouble brews when a bunch of rowdies from the Ng clan decide to gatecrash and are immediately spotted. Not wishing to ruin the festivities, Datuk Chan orders his hotheaded nephew and his gang to ignore the intruders. And so, while the rest of the guests are merrily lambadaing the night away, Lomeo Ng (youngest son of Towkay Ng) encounters the lovely Juriet Chan (favorite daughter of Datuk Chan) and Fate (or Biochemistry and/or Electromagnetism) takes over. They fall desperately (or rise ecstatically) in love; and after the party Lomeo finds himself drawn to the luxurious Chan Villa where, as our hero lurks libidinously in the shadows, he sees the moonstruck Juriet on her second floor balcony, sighing and calling for her true love…

                               Shakespearean                                                      Manglish

JUL:  O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name; or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Capulet.	JUR:  Aiya Lomeo, Lomeo! Where are you ah, Lomeo? Donkair your farder lah, simply chain your name olidi can; udderwise ah, you plomise to love me orways and I will tlade in my surname Chan.
ROM:  [Aside] Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?	LOM: [Aside] Watudu ah, keep quiet and rissen summore, or say hurro to her now?
JUL: 'Tis but thy name that is my enemy: thou art thyself, though not a Montague. What's Montague? It is nor hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part belonging to a man. O, be some other name. What's in a name? That which we call a rose  by any other name would smell as sweet; so Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd, retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title. Romeo, doff thy name, and for that name, which is no part of thee, take all myself.	JUR: Your name oni got ploblem one; you yourself okay, so what your family name called Ng. Arfter all, what is Ng? Not your finger, or your foot, or your nose, or your toes, or any udder part of you called Ng wat. Aiya, why notchew call yourself some udder name? Name is name oni wat. Loh’s frower we call sumting else steel smelling nice wat; so Lomeo oso nice, sahpose he not called Lomeo Ng, evelyting about him ngam-ngam oni. Lomeo, cancer your name lah; your name not rike gum to your body wat. Give up the Ng and take me lah.
ROM: I take thee at thy word. Call me but love, and I'll be new baptis'd; henceforth I never will be Romeo.	LOM: Orait lah, I take, I take! You oni have to call me sayang, and olidi I got new name; Lomeo Ng habis!
JUL: What man art thou that, thus bescreened in night, so stumblest on my counsel?	JUR: Alamak! Got olang minyak or wat? Who de hell are you ah, and why you spy on me one?
ROM: By a name I know not how to tell thee who I am: my name, dear saint, is hateful to myself, because it is an enemy to thee. Had I it written, I would tear the word.	LOM: My name I skad to tell you, bekos now I oso hate my name: arfturds you ting I am your anneemee, dear moon goddess. Sahpose my name wlite on piece of paper, better I tear it up.
JUL: My ears have yet not drunk a hundred words of thy tongue's uttering, yet I know the sound. Art thou not Romeo, and a Montague?	JUR: Oni a few words flom your mouf enter my ear, but olidi I know your voice: you are Lomeo, your farder Towkay Ng, istlu ornot?
ROM: Neither, fair saint, if either thee dislike.	LOM: Not tlue, cantik, if you doan rike my farder name or mais one.
JUL:  How cam'st thou hither, tell me, and wherefore? The orchard walls are high and hard to climb, and the place death, considering who thou art, if any of my kinsmen find thee here.	JUR: How you kum here and waffor, yutelme? Got high-high wall outside, summore bubwire and 24-hour sikhulity; dailah, sahpose my family catch you.
ROM: With love's light wings did I o'erperch these walls, for stony limits cannot hold love out, and what love can do, that dares love attempt: therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me.	LOM: My hut feeling so right one, can fry olidi; so hauken stonewall stop me? Bekos of love lah I bekum helo, and helo kennot die one.
JUL:  If they do see thee, they will murder thee.	JUR: Aiyo, eef my brudders see you ah, dey weel hantam you kau-kau.
ROM: Alack, there lies more peril in thine eye than twenty of their swords. Look thou but sweet and I am proof against their enmity.	LOM: Adoi, your rooks arone enuf to kill, no nid twenty palangs and bearing sclaper; you rook so sweet, hauken anyone fill beetter?
JUL:  I would not for the world they saw thee here.	JUR: Better dey doan see you here, udderwise mampus lah.
ROM: I have night's cloak to hide me from their eyes, and, but thou love me, let them find me here; my life were better ended by their hate than death prorogued, wanting of thy love.	LOM: So dark one, how dey can see me? And eef you doan love me, better dey catch me; better to die flom their hate dan leeve widout your love.
JUL:  By whose direction found'st thou out this place?	JUR: Who show you de way here?
ROM: By love, that first did prompt me to enquire. He lent me counsel, and I lent him eyes. I am no pilot, yet, wert thou as far as that vast shore wash'd with the furthest sea, I should adventure for such merchandise.	LOM: Love lah, love orways find a way, izzenit? I kennot dlive Ploton or sail boat or fry aeloplane, but even eef you leeve overseas, steel I weel find you; how far oso nevermain, I doan brarf you.
JUL:  Thou knowest the mask of night is on my face, else would a maiden blush bepaint my cheek for that which thou hast heard me speak tonight. Fain would I dwell on form; fain, fain deny what I have spoke. But farewell compliment. Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say 'Ay', and I will take thy word. Yet, if thou swear'st, thou mayst prove false. At lovers' perjuries, they say, Jove laughs. O gentle Romeo, if thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully: or if thou thinkest I am too quickly won, I'll frown, and be perverse, and say thee nay, so thou wilt woo: but else, not for the world. In truth, fair Montague, I am too fond; and therefore thou mayst think my 'haviour light: but trust me, gentleman, I'll prove more true than those that have more cunning to be strange. I should have been more strange, I must confess, but that thou overheard'st, ere I was 'ware, my true-love passion: therefore pardon me; and not impute this yielding to light love which the dark night hath so discovered.	JUR: Lucky tonight vely dark, so you kennot see my chik turn led-led one olidi. Aiya, shy oni lah wat you hear me spik just now! But wat I said you olidi hear, so nemmain lah; no nid to pletend anymore, too rate to save face. You love me ornot? Sure lah, you say yes; can sumpah summore, but mebbe tipu oni. The God oso he orways raughing at peeple’s plomises of love. Aiya Lomeo, tell me tluly one lah: you love me ornot? Sahpose yuting I am too easy to get? Mebbe I better talik harga and say dowan! Den you weel chase a bit lah; but I oso dowan to lun too fast. Ackchwurly, my dear Mr Ng, I feel vely geli lah: plis doan ting I am phooling alaun wid you, I am vely stletford one, my hut kennot chit people one, not rike dose womans wid swit-swit tongues. Mebbe sum people weel say I am too flenly to you, a stlanger summore, but olidi you heard me saying all kind of tings, so nemmain lah. Solly ah, I kennot acting one: I give myself to you, even doh I kennot see you one, so gelap tonight.
ROM: Lady, by yonder blessed moon I vow, that tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops…	LOM: Chah Bor, I sumpah by the silver moon which makes all de tlees in your garden shiny…
JUL: O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon, that monthly changes in her circled orb, lest that thy love prove likewise variable.	JUR: Cheh, doan sumpah by the moon, he not vely steady one, evely week chain size and shape. Arfturds your love rike dat oso, den how?
ROM: What shall I swear by?	LOM: Den how to swear?
JUL: Do not swear at all. Or if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self, which is the god of my idolatry, and I'll believe thee.	JUR: Better not to swear at all; or else you sumpah on your own hut, which is the awltar where I can pray; like dat I can belif lah.
ROM: If my heart's dear love...	LOM: Sahpose my hut pumping too hard…
JUL: Well, do not swear: although I joy in thee, I have no joy of this contract to-night: it is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden; too like the lightning, which doth cease to be ere one can say 'It lightens.' Sweet, good night! This bud of love, by summer's ripening breath, may prove a beauteous flower when next we meet. Good night, good night! as sweet repose and rest come to thy heart as that within my breast!	JUR: Aiyah, den doan swear lah. I am vely happy to see you, but not so happy to see you rike dis: hauken so fast, so culi-culi one, rike rightning which doan last more dan a few seckands. Let us meet again later lah, and see eef dis tender fluit of love is masak ornot. Now our lomance rike frower bud oni, not open foolly yet. So I say goonight; go home and sreep first, okay?
ROM: O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?	LOM: Aiyo, I nochet satisfied.
JUL: What satisfaction canst thou have tonight?	JUR: How you wan me to satisfy you?
ROM: The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine.	LOM: I wan to hear you sumpah your love for me.
JUL: I gave thee mine before thou didst request it: and yet I would it were to give again.	JUR: Podah, oridi swear wat, even before you arsk. But you wan, I can swear again, no ploblem. I take back my plomise.
ROM: Wouldst thou withdraw it? for what purpose, love?	LOM: Oi, doan take back lah; waffor you take back?
JUL: But to be frank, and give it thee again. And yet I wish but for the thing I have: my bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite. [Nurse calls within] I hear some noise within; dear love, adieu! Anon, good nurse! Sweet Montague, be true. Stay but a little, I will come again. [Exit]	JUR: So I can geeve you again lah, bodoh. But you got olidi wat. Arfterall I filling open rike the sea, and my love vely deep one you know: I geeve and geeve you, steel kennot habis, just rike sea orways got water one. [Amah calls from inside] Someone bising olidi. Okay lah, sayang, goodbye! - Ah Soh, why you shouting? – Mr Ng, manis, you wait reetle while ah, I come out again. [Exit]
ROM: O blessed, blessed night! I am afeard. Being in night, all this is but a dream, too flattering-sweet to be substantial.	LOM: Wah, shiok oni lah! Hope I am not dleaming oni; why I so rucky bugger one?
[Re-enter JULIET, above] JUL: Three words, dear Romeo, and good night indeed. If that thy bent of love be honourable, thy purpose marriage, send me word tomorrow, by one that I'll procure to come to thee, where and what time thou wilt perform the rite; and all my fortunes at thy foot I'll lay and follow thee my lord throughout the world. NURSE [Within]: Madam! JUL:  I come, anon. -- But if thou mean'st not well, I do beseech thee -- NURSE [Within]: Madam! JUL: By and by, I come: -- To cease thy suit, and leave me to my grief: to-morrow will I send.	[Re-enter JURIET on 3rd floor of Chan Villa] JUR: Tlee words more, Lomeo sayang, or mebbe tlee hundled; den distaim really goonight oridi. Eef you love me enuf to marry me ah, tomollow you must pass me message  showing orspeeshus date and which lestoran we can have beeg dinner; and my holaif I weel put infrun of you lah, and all alaun de world I weel forrow you. AMAH [Within]: Meees! JUR: Kahming, kahming – But eef you are not really selious one, aitelyu – AMAH [Within]: Meees Juriiiiet! JUR: Okay, okay lah! – stop praying dis game and let me suffer hut pain by myself. Tomollow I contact you ah.
ROM: So thrive my soul --	LOM: Hweeyoh, my hut so happy can die one --
JUL: A thousand times good night! [Exit, above]	JUR: Goonight, goonight, lepeat one tausend taims goonight! [Closing 3rd floor window]
ROM: A thousand times the worse, to want thy light. Love goes toward love, as schoolboys from their books, but love from love, toward school with heavy looks.	LOM: One tausend taims more susah to see you go away. Love ah, going near love orways rike rong weekend coming up; but when love reaving love ah, just rike must go for extla tuition.

                                                 

Antares © 1995-2019

Antares now heads the Department of Advanced Manglish at the University of Pertak. He has initiated a RM42 million program to "terangslate" the World's Great Books into Manglish - which has yet to be formally acknowledged as Malaysia's de facto national language, even though many have actively campaigned for this since 1989. 

The infamous balcony scene in Manglish from Lomeo & Juriet has twice been staged in Kuala Lumpur. It also inspired a full-scale Malaysian adaptation in 2005 by Gavin Yap, titled Romi & Joo Lee (dan lain-lain). 

Thanks to Sheryll Stodhart (glowingly described by an Umno rightwing dickhead as a "diehard socialist, Anwar Ibrahim apologist, and rabid anti-government writer") and Men's Review for being the first to publish my Manglish-Lit series in 1995.

[First posted 2 October 2012, reposted 11 August 2016 & 7 May 2019]