Tuesday, September 9, 2025
Morality Questionnaire (revisited)
[A sociology student posted me these questions in 2005 as a reaction to attempts by quasi-religious agencies like JAWI, the Federal Territory Religious Department, to enforce public morality by brute force.]
1. What are your views on the current morality of our Malaysian citizens and why do you think this is the case?
Morality comes from the word "more" meaning "social custom." As such, each society will have its own culturally specific, and ethno-specific, preferences and traditions. None of these traditional social customs is immutable, that is, social mores change with changing economic, educational, and technological conditions. Therefore, "morality" is NOT, in my view, a relevant issue.
HOWEVER, what we're really talking about here is the question of ETHICS. Ethicality - the innate sense of what might be called "decent" human behavior, particularly in terms of interpersonal interactions, is a universal concern and has validity beyond the confines of cultural imprinting, and beyond economic, political, social, ideological, and biological considerations.
Very few human beings on this planet are imbued with an ethical core; simply because the majority of humans are akin to farm animals, kept in a state of abject ignorance and powerlessness to alter their own destiny in order that their energy, their vitality, and their experiential data may be "harvested." Among the few who have somehow broken through their cultural and social programming and attained an ETHICAL sense (which is often accompanied by the evolvement of an AESTHETIC sensibility), there is a strong possibility of these rare individuals gaining sufficient self-awareness to ultimately achieve self-mastery.
Self-mastery implies that the individual no longer refers to any EXTERNAL AUTHORITY for instructions as to how to behave towards others. The "moral authority" is fully internalized in that the individual is no longer an ethical infant, but has indeed attained the intellectual, emotional, and spiritual maturity to govern himself or herself from the highest and most universal perspective available at any given moment.
From this standpoint, few Malaysians - indeed, few human beings, regardless of nationality - have any notion of "morality" that has not been inculcated or indoctrinated into its behavioral programming by an outside source - whether parental, societal, governmental, or ideological. These externally imposed concepts of morality are generally control mechanisms designed to make people easier to manage as statistics rather than as individuals. They often have absolutely no basis in organic reality and function purely as BELIEF SYSTEMS. As such, they are quite unnecessary and irrelevant to existence itself, but serve the hidden agenda of the Elite or ruling class.
When people refrain from certain behaviors out of fear of punishment, that is a sure indication that they have yet to acquire an ethical sense. Their fear of "breaking the law" and incurring "the wrath of God" or being penalized by the Law is what governs their actions. The more perceptive individuals who quickly learn that their parents and governments and spiritual leaders are inclined towards hypocrisy as a way of life ("Do what I say, don't do what I do!") will be prompted to break the taboos and behave in antisocial or criminal ways - but they will do so furtively because "getting caught" would mean severe punishment. Any attempt to "correct" their negative behavior can only result in more laws and more vigorous law enforcement, which ultimately strengthens the totalitarian state we might describe as "Big Brotherism" rather than enhance people's ethical sense.
In effect, the question you pose has to be rephrased differently if you desire an authentic answer instead of a superficial, programmed response. I suggest you work with this question: WHAT IS THE ESSENTIAL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "MORALITY" AND "ETHICS" - AND ARE MALAYSIANS, SPEAKING GENERALLY, AWARE OF IT?
2. In your own point of view, do you think that there are any groups of people who need increased moral policing and why?
The phrase "moral policing" is offensive to me, but let's not quibble about semantic niceties here. In general, the stratum of society most often in need of ethical resensitization is the so-called "ruling class" (which includes hereditary rulers, politicians, bureaucrats, and the uniformed personnel employed and trained to protect their private interests). This widespread condition of hypocrisy has its origins in the distortion of truth stemming from a long history of political power coups whereby authentic authority has been systematically usurped by "pretenders to the throne" - in other words, those least qualified to rule (because they have yet to master themselves) are usually the ones most determined to seize power and pose as "moral authorities."
3. What are your views on the recent incidents involving increased moral policing by some religious authorities? (e.g. arrest of a transgendered person in a friend's house, JAWI raid on a KL nightclub, Malacca Belia 4-B campaign to spy on young people...)
No mature community would tolerate such a gross abuse of vested authority and power. Agencies such as JAWI are infested with hypocrites and serve only as a haven for acutely aberrated individuals. They definitely serve no constructive purpose and we would do well to abolish them completely.
4. What do you think is a better solution to address such situations and why?
There is really no problem and therefore no "solution" is called for. People everywhere will do what pleases them in the way of recreation - and, so long as their activities do not impinge on other people's civil liberties or become destructive, it's nobody's business what anybody does to amuse himself or herself.
5. Do you think the state or private bodies should be responsible to develop better ways to deal with those situations?
Ultimately, the state itself is an abstraction which exists only as a cover for criminal usurpation of the individual's divine right of self-governance. With clarity of mind, these "social issues" publicized in the press are red herrings, non-issues, and merely serve to distract the public from REAL problems, e.g., environmental degradation and the ruthless abuse and exploitation of "lower" lifeforms - whether these be categorized as the "less privileged" or "those not of voting age" or (in a patriarchal society, the female gender), or non-human species as a whole.
6. Do you think there are weakness in our current moral laws and why?
There is only ONE authentic, universal moral law and it simply states: DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD BE DONE BY. All other "moral" rules are arbitrary and utterly useless; and, as such, irrelevant to life and deserve to be abolished or repealed.
7. Do you think our moral laws need corrective measure or changes to be implemented to meet the current society's needs?
Refer to above response.
8. Do you think the State should be given some power to enforce these moral laws and why?
The so-called State has already abrogated unto itself way too many powers. What matters are human beings, indeed, all living beings - not artificial rules and regulations invented to conceal criminal abuse of power usurped from the inherent divinity (the God self) within each entity. Each of us as incarnate Souls ultimately has no evolutionary alternative but to accept TOTAL RESPONSE-ABILITY for how we experience "reality."
9. Many NGOs have campaigned for certain moral laws to be repealed and demand that the State should have no role in policing morality. Do you think this is fair proposition to all parties concerned?
The NGOs are on the right track but have yet to find the right tack. Rather than engage (and waste) their energy on "doing battle" against the "power structure" they will serve themselves and others far more effectively by paying closer attention to their own evolution as sentient beings, with the focus on attaining levels of consciousness some may describe as Buddhahood or Christhood.
10. To your own reasoning, why did you sign the Joint Statement and what do you hope it can achieve?
I am essentially aligned with the NGOs' broad objective of functioning as a system of "checks and balances" to established poltical authority even if I do not always agree with their terms of reference and modus operandi. An internet petition requires only a few seconds to sign and is the least one can do to contribute to positive social change - at least, in the short term.
11. What do you believe constitutes a moral society?
One in which each individual has attained "enlightenment" or Buddhahood and then evolved to the next level of spiritual maturity which some choose to call "Christ consciousness." As such, the "moral society" is constantly evolving and when the point is reached where enough individuals have reclaimed their sovereign power and freed themselves from external controls, the concept of external government will cease to exist - and ETHICS will be a "hardwired" integral component of our Operating Systems.
12. What do you think Malaysians and even yourself can do to bring improvement to the situation?
Ask the questions you have asked in this electronic interview and allow for the widest possible spectrum of responses. In short, we simply have to take time out to ponder the basic existential conundrums - preferably free of the corruption and distortion of institutionalized belief systems, i.e. religious doctrines.
13. Any last words or thoughts?
Enjoy the infinite possiblities of being in freedom and joy!
Thank you very very much 😁
You're entirely welcome!
Antares
~^@^~
[First posted 2 December 2006, reposted 1 October 2015 & 14 August 2019]
Sunday, September 7, 2025
A Doubly Orgasmic Full Moon Equinox (reprise)

On 22 September 2010, I picked up the 2nd Coming CDs from Videoria on Jalan Tiong (near KLPAC). Jess Ho, the feisty manager, can be trusted to do a good job - and she's a lovely woman with a great sense of humor too.


Anyway, now that the CDs are ready to ship, I'd like to express my gratitude to Sharon Chin, who stayed up nights to design the album cover and label, using graphic elements and text I provided. Although I'm still mystified by her decision to change the font on the cover, I'm extremely pleased with the overall feel of her design and layout. I got a stiffy just looking at the gorgeous label she created for the CD, adding color and vibrancy to my personal logo.


I particularly love how Sharon created a mirror image of the exquisite rainbow I photographed from my front garden. Very intuitive and intelligent designer with impeccable taste. I knew she would add a touch of class to the final product and inject just the right amount of feminine essence.


"Priapus, a greek fertility god with a permanent erection." That's how Sharon captioned the above image. It takes a true artist to appreciate mythic resonances - and few artists are truer than Sharon Chin, who manages an art portal called Arteri and writes on the visual arts for Off The Edge. Sharon says: "In addition to being a high-falutin' artist, patriot and woo-er of pale young writers, I also moonlight as a graphic designer for people/projects I love."


Instead of the grim-looking mugshot I gave Sharon, she opted for this antiquated doodle which appeared in the original cassette inlay when the album was released in 1986. What does it represent? Well, the rabble-rouser with a wagging black tongue was used to illustrate "Terminal Hierophantiasis" - so my low opinion of the Amen priesthood remains unchanged.
Sharon Chin embraces the Earth. And the Universe embraces her right back. Read this insightful interview with a young artist who successfully blends intellect with intuition.

2nd Coming is now listenable &/or downloadable (for free)!
[First posted 23 September 2010. Reposted 3 September 2020 & 5 September 2022]
Labels:
2nd Coming,
E. Manu Eel,
Equinox,
full moon,
packaging,
Sharon Chin
Friday, September 5, 2025
Shamans Among The Machines ~ Talk by Terence McKenna (repost)
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Terence McKenna (1946 ~ 2000) has been studying the ontological foundations of Shamanism and the Ethnopharmacology of spiritual transformation for the past quarter century. An innovative theoretician and spellbinding orator, Terence has emerged as a powerful voice for the psychedelic movement and the emergent societal tendency he calls The Archaic Revival. Poetically dispensing enlightened social criticism and new theories of the fractal dynamics of time, Terence deobfuscates many aspects of the visionary lexicon, and then some. As Artist Alex Grey suggests, "In the twilight of human history, McKenna's prescription for salvation is just so crazy it might work."
[Source: Terence McKenna Land. Brought to my attention by Melissa Lin. First posted 8 September 2012]
A True Visionary and Oracle of the New Evolutionary Spiral
Terence McKenna (1946 ~ 2000) has been studying the ontological foundations of Shamanism and the Ethnopharmacology of spiritual transformation for the past quarter century. An innovative theoretician and spellbinding orator, Terence has emerged as a powerful voice for the psychedelic movement and the emergent societal tendency he calls The Archaic Revival. Poetically dispensing enlightened social criticism and new theories of the fractal dynamics of time, Terence deobfuscates many aspects of the visionary lexicon, and then some. As Artist Alex Grey suggests, "In the twilight of human history, McKenna's prescription for salvation is just so crazy it might work."
[Source: Terence McKenna Land. Brought to my attention by Melissa Lin. First posted 8 September 2012]
A True Visionary and Oracle of the New Evolutionary Spiral
Wednesday, September 3, 2025
Visionary art as an antidote to corporate fascism (repost)
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Galactic Alignment by Andréa Balt |
The world appears to teeter once again on the brink of
all-out war, as criminal regimes with covert links to oil giants, drug cartels,
vice syndicates, mercenary armies and terrorist cells attempt to shock and awe
the masses into docile submission to their totalitarian dictates.
Religious fanaticism, spurred on by vested interests with
divisive survival strategies, rears it ugly head whenever the corrupt status
quo feels threatened by increasingly vociferous demands for radical reform.
At apocalyptic times such as this, the soul finds refuge
and revitalization in magical epiphanies of the unfettered imagination as
expressed through visionary art.
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Chêne (oak) by Gaëlle Van Nah Chong (6.7" X 7.9", Graphite on paper, 2013) |
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Notre-Dame de McFarlane by Gaëlle Van Nah Chong (15.7" X 11.8" Graphite on paper, 2013) |
They have always been with us, these conjurers of phantasmagoric
landscapes who speak directly to the innermost cores of our being, bypassing
our nitpicking intellects.
A close encounter with such imagery restores our primordial memory of authentic freedom, of vistas undefined and unconfined by artificial boundaries and obstacles.
A close encounter with such imagery restores our primordial memory of authentic freedom, of vistas undefined and unconfined by artificial boundaries and obstacles.
They remind us who we really are, beyond
outward appearances, beyond bureaucratic pigeonholes, beyond our own fears and
fleshly limitations. It is the visionary artist we must thank for reconnecting
us with our inner beings where our humanity is most deeply rooted.
Throughout the centuries, they have spoken to us from
their own mysterious depths, with voices intimate and introvert, of the soul’s
adventures in dimensions far subtler than consensus reality. Visionaries like
Hieronymus Bosch, William Blake, M.C. Escher, Salvador Dali, Alex Grey, Abdul
Mati Klarwein – who share an artistic lineage with magical realists like Dante
Alighieri, Jorge Luis Borges, Lewis Carroll, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Isabel
Allende. Their work serves an entirely therapeutic purpose, resensitizing and
reintegrating our battered psyches, affording us a secure hideaway from the ruinous
violence of outer realms ravaged by the territorial disputes of warlords and
would-be world conquerors.
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La Désalpe by Gaëlle Van Nah Chong (11.8" X 30", Graphite on paper, 2013) |
It gladdens my heart to witness the continuance of this
essential therapeutic service as signified by the coming together of three
young visionary artists who, in expressing their own internal dreamscapes,
remind us where our true freedom dwells – in the secret depths of our own
unique individuality.
Melissa Lin, Pereira Irving Paul and Gaëlle Chong… thank
you for freely sharing with us the astounding authenticity, veracity and raw
power of your extraordinary inner visions.
Antares Maitreya
Magick River
1 September 2013
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Oily Teh O Ais: 3 Person Show with Melissa Lin, Pereira Irving Paul & Gaëlle Van Nah Chong 7 - 21 September 2013 @ LostGens'
“MAMAK! SATU LAGI O.T.O.A!” by T.S. HON
It’s been raining cats and dogs for weeks now. These afternoon showers come unannounced but not unexpected. Though it puts a damper on our daily wheeling and dealing, it should be seen as a much needed respite from all the brouhaha generated during the country’s 13th general election and its bitter aftermath just a few months ago.
For many of the everyday people, the business of life and making a living goes on as usual. They’ve come to accept with resignation that the more things change, the more they remain the same. “Same shit, different day” as they say. Come Monday mornings, as they commute by trains or buses packed like sardines (or KFC poultry) to the daily grind, they turn off their anger and tune out their resentment with the major and petty transgressions both real and imaginary and go through the motions till payday. That’s when they put away their ‘salarymen’ attire, gingerly don their branded mall worshipper’s costume and proceed to engage recklessly in retail therapy. And everything turns out fine in the end... as usual.
Yet, there are those who do not rest easy even though it is so much easier to uncritically adopt a herd mentality to adapt to the workings of conventional society. They refuse to subscribe to a standardized way of living prescribed for them via enculturation, education or indoctrination. These ‘misfits’ and ‘outsiders’ hold stubbornly to their own dreams and beliefs that other, more authentic and spontaneous ways of existing are possible besides the roles/lifestyles promoted by consumerism, propagated by jingoism or sanctified by religious fundamentalism. They remain true to their personal convictions against the dilution of their individuality and the commodification of life in general by the machinations of the establishment (usually in complicity with regimes, those voted to power or those that seized it.)
Perhaps it is from this context that the exhibition ‘OTOA’ can be understood and appreciated. Featuring works by Pereira Irving Paul, Gaëlle Chong and Melissa Lin, ‘OTOA’ (the title being a private joke between Melissa and Gaëlle) is a three-person exhibition at LostGens’ latest venue - located at 8C Jalan Panggong in KL’s infamous Chinatown, which serves as an extension of its residency program.
Pereira Irving Paul (36) is a full-time multidisciplinary artist, independent curator and occultist currently based in Singapore whose works are guided by western and eastern magickal traditions. He specializes in Tarot and energy healing. 32-year old Gaëlle Chong hails from Lamboing, Switzerland. She is also a self-taught whose works are rich with mythical, archetypal symbols and imageries. She is a full-time artist based in Kuala Lumpur. Completing the trinity of this three-person exhibition is Melissa Lin Shi Min (31) or Mel as her friends calls her. Born in the state of Johor, Mel studied literature formally and later enrolled in an art academy in the Netherlands but has switched to astrology instead. She is as a full-time artist and certified astrologer (having obtained her certificate of graduation from the Nightlight Astrology School a couple of years ago) and is currently based in KL. She continues to practice and take advanced classes with her mentor, the writer and astrologer Adam Elenbaas.
This exhibition could have been like any of the many weekly showcases of new works by upcoming, mid career or veteran artists in the Klang Valley; nevertheless what sets ‘OTOA’ apart from the rest is the unconventional subject matter. These are not the predictable outputs of academically trained visual art practitioners, whose objectives are mostly commercial.
Rather the artists of ‘OTOA’ belong to that small minority of creative individuals who, unshackled from the tyranny of conventional society’s regulations and expectations, dare to tap directly into that unfiltered wellspring of the universal via the unconscious, inspired and alchemical, to explore the many parallel universes, realities and possibilities beyond the fossilized versions zealously maintained by institutions, organizations and the ruling classes. And to discover what it means to be a conscious and individuated human being living in a society of the spectacle.
Moreover, ‘OTOA’ comes at time when there is a discernible feeling of lethargy in the local art scene, a feeling of pointlessness and apathy towards all the banal, formulaic and generic looking works circulating around the galleries in the city. With so much sheen, shenanigans and vacuity masquerading as visual or performance Art, it is getting harder these days to penetrate the hype (or spectacle) and come across artists who are brave and willing to express (or rather expose) themselves in visual vernaculars that are deceptively unassuming, idiosyncratic but accessible enough to be understood. There is much food for thought here, way more enriching than all the expensive aesthetic candy that is being sold in the private showrooms for the ‘loaded’ and ‘cultured.’
Without the profit motive, hidden agendas or obligations, they came together in a spirit of camaraderie and kinship, each bringing something discovered or drawn from their ‘night journeys’ to this exhibition. Their works embody a little bit of magick, mystery and madness, elements that were familiar to our primordial selves before it was suppressed or exorcised in preparation for our (forced) entry into society as functional, efficient and obedient workers/consumers by our guardians, teacher and leaders. This they have done successfully with coercion, alternating between promises of remuneration and threats of punishment.
With the ‘spirit’ driven out from the flesh, once hardened, we are ready to become the nuts, bolts and cogs that form the ruling classes’ means of production or their instruments of destruction. This dehumanizing process can also be detected in our surrounding environment which was designed to suppress the subjective and spontaneous, and aggressively induces us to see the world objectively in only blacks and whites, namely yes or no, profit or loss, us or them, left or right. It encourages us to become more and more like the electrical contraptions or electronic gadgets we operate, use and enjoy; one-dimensional and manageable with the turn of a key, swipe of a finger, flip of the switch or push of a button.
The discontent and alienation are real and natural reactions to the stultifying conditions imposed upon us. Our unconscious mind seeks to communicate with us, to warn us of the imbalances in our lives by presenting signs, symbols or symptoms through our dreams, slips of tongue, or susceptibility to certain diseases. Can the artists’ non-objective subject matter (and the way they live their lives) be read as a conscious but subtle objection to the process of objectification of life? Perhaps.
Hopefully it is evident from their thoughts in the following interview. Will their works be able to stir, resonate with something within us that the system has not managed to extinguish completely and inspire us to question the validity of the ‘reality’ sold to us, or at least to reconsider the many life-affirming choices previously denied us? That will depend on whether we are prepared to face the truth about our existence. A life which has been comfortably boxed in within these four walls made up of denials, subterfuges, prejudices, and false impressions. If we are able to push the boundaries of our comfort zone and to peek or to slip through when the cracks appear, we have given ourselves a chance to step out of a long dark shadow cast over our lives, and to finally begin that search for our rightful place in the sun.
“Under the paving stones, the beach!”
T.S. HON interviews the three artists of OTOA
T.S.HON: When did your passion in art begin and who or what was your earliest influence(s) -visual arts, music, literature?
Pereira Irving Paul: I think what came first to me, what is more important than a passion for art is a passion for imaginative fantasy. I think that's the biggest factor that makes me who I am today. Art, music, writing, magick, are just vehicles that lead imagination into reality, making Imagination real is my true inspiration and passion I would say.
I started doodling and writing stories from as young as 10 but spent more time in my head with imaginary friends and places and that is still true for me today, at 36 years of age. I truly started art making in 2008, when I started working as a Tarot card reader. The archetypes opened something up in me and all these visions started pouring out proper. So in a way, Tarot has been a major influence in terms of how its energy and magickal mystery affects me to create.
TSH: What was the impact of these influences?
PIP: The mystery of Imagination has helped me build a strong 'interior universe' which is so critical to my creation and magickal process that it cannot be separated.
There's a term called ‘Paracosm,’ a fully developed interior world that began growing in early childhood. This universe is populated with its own denizens, logic, language, philosophy and life. This is where I live from and express myself artistically and magickally. My imagination is always evolving, becoming a source of greater power every day and becoming more alive to a point where I think it is now a kind of Guiding Spirit that I’m in contact with. It informs me and instructs me on my creative processes, it wants to come out and make contact with this world.
TSH: Who are your favorite artist(s), author(s)?
PIP: I'm largely influenced by the world of H.P Lovecraft as an author. Artistwise, I respond to and identify very well with Nathan Menglesis for some reason even though his themes aren't exactly in line with mine, but his style, the mess, the dirty look, the intensity, I love it.
TSH: What are your current concerns and how are the images you've produced able to communicate your thoughts?
PIP: Right now, my main mission is to translate occult extraterrestrial technologies and philosophies into something people can engage with through my writing, visual art, spoken word, film and sound. Each form or medium plays a part in creating the 'total work of art' or Gesamtkunstwerk.
Writing/poetry/spoken word is, as much as possible, the 'explanatory' element, the form of expression that tries to convey the sense of things, using language, to give certain meaning to feelings and energies I’m trying to convey. Sound and Vision are the instinctive, emotional and spiritual vehicles for these energies. It's about the feelings and powers one feels looking or listening to the work created. Visual works are symbolic, maps of concepts condensed into an image, that when looked at, opens up portals in the mind and soul. All of it together acts as a kind of interconnected trigger to open up doorways to secret realms and arcane power that I hope can help people to expand their consciousness and Spirit.
My concern is in the field of alternative consciousness expansion, of discovering alternate paths to Spiritual unfolding and attainment. I deal with darkness a lot; darkness as a kind of necessity that actually makes you shine brighter as a Light Force.
I feel that there are people who find it hard to connect with traditional paths of religion and spirituality and I hope that as an artistic and occult vessel, I can create works that 'fringe or esoteric avant-garde lovers' can identify with on some level, that the art can at least point the way to further exploration of unbeaten and extraterrestrial paths.
TSH: What are your preferred art mediums?
PIP: If I really had to choose one, I would say pen and paper, it's organic technology. I think marks made with ink grounds 'far out ideas' into something earthy (paper) and Ink has more permanence than say charcoal or graphite and I wish to earth certain energies and keep it here for future generations to tune into. Black makes things possible; all colours vanish into the black so in a way I think black contains all spectrums. It also represents mystery and the hidden universe, which I love exploring using art.
TSH: A quote from you on the works you've produced for this exhibition or your philosophy in life in general.
PIP: I believe in having and living a rich interior life. That is where magic and art co-exists as one. Both are creative powers, magic and art is one and the same. External manifestations may pass away but an inner life lives forever. I believe it is what we continue into after the physical body dies and the inner life is intimately connected to a much immense, more powerful form of Life Force that is ever present and eternal. I think it’s important to stay true to the inner life no matter how alien or 'scary' or weird. If it is empowering in some way to you, then it's a power that should be developed and honed. For more information please visit www.ipaulpereira.com
[First posted 14 September 2013]
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Tuesday, September 2, 2025
Preface to TANAH TUJUH ~ Close Encounters with the Temuan Mythos (repost)

AT THE OUTSET I wish to declare that I am not an anthropologist.
I am, however, deeply interested in mythology. What fascinates me about the mythic tradition is that it has proven to be an effective way of preserving important archetypal images and ideas for thousands of years, merely through oral transmission down the generations. Like nursery rhymes imbibed in early childhood, a myth once heard is never forgotten, even if a few minor details get added or subtracted along the way.
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Nadi Empok & his wife Lumoh in 1994 |
Of course, it helps greatly if you also have “genetic access” to the stories. For each story, like a life, has its own specific genealogy. But in the end, all stories can be traced to a single source - the Mother Lode of Stories - which I comprehend as the deep memory of the Earth herself.
MYTHOLOGY, folklore, and grandmothers' tales are by definition non-logical story forms, meaningless to the rational mind and subject to no “scientific proof.” Characters tend to appear and disappear without rhyme or reason, and their actions and reactions are generally an unfathomable mystery - until one adds the essential ingredient, subjectivity. The fact that “mystery” and “myth” both contain the key word my is highly instructive. One has to own them, take personal possession of these transpersonal, extra-dimensional truths, before they yield their secret kernel of meaning. More specifically, one has to incorporate the mythic system into one's vision quest, so that the sense of revelation which follows the sudden flash of insight becomes an intensely intimate experience. For whom does the bell toll, if not yourself?
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Halus, Titit & Kusak in 1996 |
The gods and heroes of antiquity are, in truth, fragments of our own mystery, our own unfolding story in space and time. We need only take the initiative to reclaim them from the myopia of our throwaway consumer culture and the self-destructive forgetfulness of our times.
The Antares Interview (by Tunku Halim)
[First posted 16 November 2017, reposted 26 September 2018 & 13 September 2020]
[First posted 16 November 2017, reposted 26 September 2018 & 13 September 2020]
Sunday, August 31, 2025
All The Best Limericks Are Lewd (revisited)
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Abraham was a wily old Jew Who kept company with the Chosen Few By forswearing sin And his own foreskin The entire world he proceeded to screw
It was a limerick that got me my first job as a junior copywriter. I had just turned 20 and was living with my parents in the house where I was born. I knew it was time to leave the family nest and learn to stand on my own feet - so when a friend mentioned that an ad agency in KL was looking for new blood, I immediately wrote to them. A few days later I received a test in the mail and was asked to compose a limerick; then write a news report about it, followed by an editorial. This was the limerick I came up with (of course I had to keep it clean):
A grand gourmand named Gus Decided to devour a bus But as he began to chew He said, "Oh no, this won't do, The passengers are making a fuss!"
Needless to say I got the job and soon found myself turning into a professional wordsmith, churning out readable text by the column inch. It didn't take long for me to realize I wasn't cut out to be a hack. Within 18 months I quit, after winning $5,000 in a slogan writing competition for Hall's cough drops, and began a checkered career as a freelancer and creative consultant. I continued to compose the occasional limerick - but somehow they were never quite lewd enough...
A fair mädchen was having her lüncheon
In a very chic cafe in München
Well, I got bold and told her
I wanted to rock'n'roll her
"Ja ja," she said and we got engaged pretty sünchen
As clean limericks go, this one ranks as an all-time winner (unfortunately I didn't write it and I don't know who did):
A wonderful bird is the pelican;
His beak can hold more than his belican.
He can hold in his beak
Enough food for a week,
Though I’m damned if I know how the helican!
But enough of clean limericks! Bring on the best and lewdest ones I have collected over the years. I must mention here that some of the dirtiest limericks ever written came from Isaac Asimov, acclaimed writer of sciencefiction novels. Here are a couple I like:
Said an ovum one night to a sperm,
"You're a very attractive young germ.
Come join me, my sweet,
Let our nuclei meet
And in nine months we'll both come to term."
------------------------------
"We refuse," said two men from Australia,
"Bestiality this saturnalia.
For now, we bethink us,
The ornithorhynchus
Is our down-under type of Mammalia."
And I have a gut feeling we owe this classic to Asimov:
The astronomer's crime was heinous:
"We mustn't let convention restrain us;
Though I've made a career
Out of Venus, my dear,
I'm tempted to switch to Uranus."
Let's open the floodgates of debauchery and prurience, shall we? But first, a limerick defining what limericks are really about...
The Limerick's furtive and mean,
To be kept under close quarantine,
Or she'll sneak to the slums,
Where she promptly becomes
Disorderly, drunk and obscene!
It's almost impossible to trace limericks back to their source. The memorable ones tend to get circulated and recirculated over time till they end up attributed to Anonymous (presumably an obscure Greek lyricist). Here's the rest of my collection to date:
There once was a girl from Ealing,
Who said she had no sexual feeling.
Until a cynic named Boris,
Touched her clitoris,
And they’re still scraping her off the ceiling.
-----------------------------------------
There was a young fellow from Kent,
Whose prick was so long that it bent,
To save himself trouble,
He put it in double,
And instead of coming he went.
---------------------------------------
A lesbian girl from Khartoum
Took a gay young man up to her room. At the start of the night She said "Let's get this right. Who does what? And with which? And to whom?"
-----------------------------------------
There was an old bishop from Buckingham
Who spoke of young girls and of fucking 'em But a bishop from Wales Took the wind from his sails When he spoke of young boys and of sucking 'em
From the crypt of the Church of St. Giles
Came a scream that carried for miles
Said the Vicar, "Good Gracious,
Has Brother Ignatius
Forgotten the Bishop has piles?"
-----------------------------------------
There once was a man from Peru
Who fell asleep in his canoe
As he dreamt of Venus
he played with his penis
And woke up with a handful of goo.
---------------------------------------------
There was a young woman from Yale
Who offered her body for sale
For the sake of the blind
She had her behind
Tattooed with her prices in Braille
--------------------------------------------
There was a young fellow from Leeds,
Who swallowed a package of seeds. Great tufts of grass, Sprouted out of his ass, And his balls were all covered with weeds. -------------------------------------------
There was a young man from Lynn,
Whose prick was the size of a pin. Said his girl with a laugh, As she fondled his staff, “This won’t be much of a sin.” ---------------------------------------------
There was a young lady from Maine,
Who enjoyed copulating on a train. Not once, I maintain, But again and again, And again and again and again. ------------------------------------------
There was a young actress from Crewe,
Who remarked as the vicar withdrew,
The Bishop was quicker
and thicker and slicker,
And two inches longer than you.
-------------------------------------------------
There was a young plumber from Lee
who was plumbing his girl with great glee,
she said, "Stop your plumbing,
I think someone's coming..."
Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me!"
-------------------------------------------------
A kinky young girl from Coleshill,
Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill,
They found her vagina
in North Carolina,
and bits of her tits in Brazil.
-------------------------------------------------
There was a young man from Pitlocherie,
making love to his girl in the rockery,
she said, "Look you've cum
all over my bum,
This isn't a shag, it's a mockery."
-------------------------------------------------
There was a young lassie from Morton,
who had one long tit and one short'un,
on top of all that
a great hairy twat,
and a fart like a six fifty Norton.
----------------------------------------
There was a young man from Harrow
who had one as big as a marrow.
He said to his tart,
"Try this for a start.
My balls are outside on a barrow."
------------------------------------
There was a young girl from Hitchin,
who was scratching her crotch in the kitchen.
Her mother said "Rose,
It's crabs, I suppose."
She said "Bollocks, get on with your stitchin'."
-----------------------------------------
There was a young girl from Devizes,
who had tits of different sizes.
One was quite small,
almost nothing at all,
But the other was big and won prizes.
--------------------------------------
There once was a young man from Brighton,
Who said to a young lass, “You’re a tight’un!”
She said, “Listen, Hon,
You’re in the wrong one.
There’s plenty of room in the right one.”
------------------------------------
A lady while dining at Crewe,
Found an elephant’s dong in her stew,
Said the waiter, “Don’t shout,
Or wave it about,
Or the others will all want one too!”
--------------------------------------
There was a young woman of Croft,
Who played with herself in a loft,
Having reasoned that candles,
Could never cause scandals,
Besides which they did not go soft.
----------------------------------------
There was a young woman named Sally,
who loved an occasional dally,
she sat on the lap
of a well endowed chap,
Crying, "Gee, Dick, you're right up my alley!"
----------------------------------
There was a young gaucho named Bruno
Who said "If there is one thing I do know,
A woman is fine,
a donkey divine,
But the llama is numero uno."
---------------------------------------
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose schlong was so long he could sucket
He said with a grin
Wiping spunk off his chin
"If my ear were a cunt I could fucket!"
Nantucket seems to have inspired more than its fair share of limericks, not all of them lewd - but they do merit a passing mention, if only for their literary value:
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.
This soon spawned a sequel...
But he followed the pair to Pawtucket,
The man and the girl with the bucket;
And he said to the man,
He was welcome to Nan,
But as for the bucket, Pawtucket.
What better way to end this post than with a mathematical limerick composed by Leigh Mercer (1893-1977) who came up with this poetic equation:
Translated into plain English it reads:
A dozen, a gross, and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven
Plus five times eleven
Is nine squared and not a bit more.
[First posted 26 April 2017, reposted 18 September 2018, 31 March 2019, 25 August 2019, 16 September 2021, 18 February 2023 & 27 June 2024]
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Labels:
earthy mirth,
lasciviousness,
lewdness,
limericks,
ribaldry,
wordplay
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